taken around in june?? haha.. =)
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Long time no blog here yea? =)
I lost touch with my blog since after my n levels.. many many many things has happen... theres many thing i wanna do but in the end i din .. haiz.. its okay than.. still left with one more week or skool.. for the past few days i been going out and my pocket always left empty when i got home.. only yesterday i decided to stay at home and not celebrate xmas eve wif my frens.. cause i noe it would be a wasted of money.. in the end i followed my brother and faiz to queensway to buything things.. i only spend on mac donalds lol.. i can't bear to see my wallet empty agian.. it has been 8 days since i last saw her.. its really weird cause this is one of the longest time i never see or talk to her.. she in japan now enjoying wif her famliy i hope so..=) well me here just sit at home and relax letting time pass by.. also i left less than a week to my gig at chao chu kang cc there.. haiz.. tml we going jaming at bukit batok from 1 to 3 pm.. also my entire family going to sentosa .. and i only can join them by 4pm.. which is really very rush..
today i got up at 1230 pm cause i know that even i woke up early like yesterday.. i would feel bored and start thinking of her and start to miss her.. so i sleep agian until i feel its more than enough.. many things has happen to me the past few months since i blog... espcially getting my results .. i was shaking before i got my results.. when i saw the word promoted on my result slip.. i was over joyed.. when i join back my class sitting down at the hall.. i was kneeling down facing up feeling good as all the hard work i put in has been paid off.. first time in my life to get 3 As .. alltogether of 6 points!! =) i beat most of my classmates.. i expected them to did better than me.. but i only half of the whole level made it... to sec 5.. i saw my classmates or schoolmates ending up in tears or frustrated... i couldn't do anything much either cause the another half of them were joyfully celebrating their results.. i was really glad for afiq that he made it to sec 5.. he has been thinking to go sha tec.. but i really wish him to take o levels cause i know that he can do it.. jun wei also made it.. and all three of us still remains.. we three have been going out through out this holiday.. without ellice wif me now.. they were always there accompany me.. but sometimes there were misunderstanding... no matter how much i have company now i still really do miss her.. thinking of it almost everyday of wats happening to her.. cause the last time when i did talk to her.. she wasn't in a good mood... so thats makes it worse.. well.. i hope things are clearier now for her after her trip to japan..
we have been together almost to 4 months ready.. i discovered many things along the way.. what i learn in life.. i spend almost 2 hours just to travel and meet her and make my way home.. i dun mind doing there as long i get to see her.. the most thing i hate abt us doind is when we have to say goodbyes and going in seprate ways.. and she lives really far away from my house.. her house from serangoon all the way to west coast.. takes 2 hours just to go there and come back.. and when its pick hours.. its worse... sometimes i can't sleep in bus as i aready slept to much when making my way there.. i think about 5 days ago i went to her house in the morning the area there.. i reach there abt 815 am and waitied for her call at the park..i got my frens to get rite to her but she was sleeping and not feeling well.. so than i waited in the park listening to my mp3.. until it was 1045am.. hakim told me to make my way back home as her mom is at home.. than i was in misery walking all the way back to the mrt station instead of taking bus... but actually i was suppose to wait for her call before leaving my house.. but i wanted to spend more time wif her so i went ealier.. i told her i will come around 8.. and call when she gets up.. but can't really blame her la.. she wasn't feeling well.. so i guess that i just have to make my way back home =( But many things really did happen between us through this 4 months..
I have been listening all to Muse lately.. i really love their songs.. Mattew Ballalemy the front man is really a pure talent.. He sings damn well.. plays piano damn good.. and he rocks playing guitar.. and all his music are experimental music.. as he discovers her his own style.. i like them about their originality.. Josh Groband is also another artist i found that is really talented.. his music shares with the whole.. even though he plays classical music.. i still love listening them as i find them very meaning full.. my song on my blog is playing his song " You Raise Me Up" he other songs are also very good.. i respect him for making music for everyone to listen... if there were another person like him.. they would only use their songs for worshiping.. but Josh Groband makes music for everyone ... John lennon also is another man i respect.. his song "imagine" is trying to show the world if there is no border lines between us..there is no religion and no race between humans in this world.. everyone would be equal... can tell that he is trying to bring peace among the races and religion.. until today i still see a great division of me and my frens cause of their religion.. even ellice.. it saddens me to see things works this way and people have come to accept it.. I hope one day we all have every rights to accept each one of each other to united with..
This comming thursday my brother i comming back from australia but i still haven pack up his room lol.. =) i think i take my time to clear la.. dun need to rush so much.. cause i have to move all my instruments.. tml i having another soccer match.. i heard its a strong team.. but that dosen't mean i will not perform!! haha.. today going to practice freekick wif my brother at qifa.. but its raining now.. haiz.. i guess my luck for these few days has really been very very bad.. and i dun like it.. but i am always prepared for anything unlucky thing happen=) i hope i will continue updating my blog.. i can't possibly type everything i miss out now haha.. =) okie than... Merry ams and happy new year!
today i got up at 1230 pm cause i know that even i woke up early like yesterday.. i would feel bored and start thinking of her and start to miss her.. so i sleep agian until i feel its more than enough.. many things has happen to me the past few months since i blog... espcially getting my results .. i was shaking before i got my results.. when i saw the word promoted on my result slip.. i was over joyed.. when i join back my class sitting down at the hall.. i was kneeling down facing up feeling good as all the hard work i put in has been paid off.. first time in my life to get 3 As .. alltogether of 6 points!! =) i beat most of my classmates.. i expected them to did better than me.. but i only half of the whole level made it... to sec 5.. i saw my classmates or schoolmates ending up in tears or frustrated... i couldn't do anything much either cause the another half of them were joyfully celebrating their results.. i was really glad for afiq that he made it to sec 5.. he has been thinking to go sha tec.. but i really wish him to take o levels cause i know that he can do it.. jun wei also made it.. and all three of us still remains.. we three have been going out through out this holiday.. without ellice wif me now.. they were always there accompany me.. but sometimes there were misunderstanding... no matter how much i have company now i still really do miss her.. thinking of it almost everyday of wats happening to her.. cause the last time when i did talk to her.. she wasn't in a good mood... so thats makes it worse.. well.. i hope things are clearier now for her after her trip to japan..
we have been together almost to 4 months ready.. i discovered many things along the way.. what i learn in life.. i spend almost 2 hours just to travel and meet her and make my way home.. i dun mind doing there as long i get to see her.. the most thing i hate abt us doind is when we have to say goodbyes and going in seprate ways.. and she lives really far away from my house.. her house from serangoon all the way to west coast.. takes 2 hours just to go there and come back.. and when its pick hours.. its worse... sometimes i can't sleep in bus as i aready slept to much when making my way there.. i think about 5 days ago i went to her house in the morning the area there.. i reach there abt 815 am and waitied for her call at the park..i got my frens to get rite to her but she was sleeping and not feeling well.. so than i waited in the park listening to my mp3.. until it was 1045am.. hakim told me to make my way back home as her mom is at home.. than i was in misery walking all the way back to the mrt station instead of taking bus... but actually i was suppose to wait for her call before leaving my house.. but i wanted to spend more time wif her so i went ealier.. i told her i will come around 8.. and call when she gets up.. but can't really blame her la.. she wasn't feeling well.. so i guess that i just have to make my way back home =( But many things really did happen between us through this 4 months..
I have been listening all to Muse lately.. i really love their songs.. Mattew Ballalemy the front man is really a pure talent.. He sings damn well.. plays piano damn good.. and he rocks playing guitar.. and all his music are experimental music.. as he discovers her his own style.. i like them about their originality.. Josh Groband is also another artist i found that is really talented.. his music shares with the whole.. even though he plays classical music.. i still love listening them as i find them very meaning full.. my song on my blog is playing his song " You Raise Me Up" he other songs are also very good.. i respect him for making music for everyone to listen... if there were another person like him.. they would only use their songs for worshiping.. but Josh Groband makes music for everyone ... John lennon also is another man i respect.. his song "imagine" is trying to show the world if there is no border lines between us..there is no religion and no race between humans in this world.. everyone would be equal... can tell that he is trying to bring peace among the races and religion.. until today i still see a great division of me and my frens cause of their religion.. even ellice.. it saddens me to see things works this way and people have come to accept it.. I hope one day we all have every rights to accept each one of each other to united with..
This comming thursday my brother i comming back from australia but i still haven pack up his room lol.. =) i think i take my time to clear la.. dun need to rush so much.. cause i have to move all my instruments.. tml i having another soccer match.. i heard its a strong team.. but that dosen't mean i will not perform!! haha.. today going to practice freekick wif my brother at qifa.. but its raining now.. haiz.. i guess my luck for these few days has really been very very bad.. and i dun like it.. but i am always prepared for anything unlucky thing happen=) i hope i will continue updating my blog.. i can't possibly type everything i miss out now haha.. =) okie than... Merry ams and happy new year!
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Mixed emotions
this morning i was planning to go for an job interview.. but then my mother dun allow =( then she die die die die dun let me get out the house.. i was soo sad... just cause of not going to skool she kb so much... then tell me do stupit things than i can go.. imagine i aready wear formal long sleves .. she ask me go clean the toilet... wtf... then clean my room.. than i go clean la.. then she say that if i want to go.. she also go out of the house and never come back.. my brother and father allowed me to go.. but my mother veri stubborn.. die die i cannot go... den i cried like mad in the morning... at first was both my parents scold me... forcing me not to go... i aready change all there and dress up.. then i started crying and crying.. cause i never had my freedom to go for the interview.. then i climb into my brother room and woke him up to seek help... i was still in tears... then he said that life can be unfair at times.. say my mother sometimes like that one.. so our choice in life becomes more narrow... i can't imagine life wifout my father... things would be so much diffrent.... i once thought that things would be better after my n levels.. infect that aren't much differences....
just now i chat wif ellice.. she said that she is veri veri stress... i really sometimes hate myself for not understanding some of the things she say.. i dun even know or guess wats troubling her.. maybe all i just need to do is to ask.. but how i know that what i do would make things better? she told me to think of wat she done for me and wat i done for her... i know she made alot of sacrifice and done many things for me... and looking back of wat i did for her... i just dunnoe how to compare.. after crying in the morning..i dunnoe why i feel like crying agian now.. after chatting wif her.. i just can't comfort her... i try finding wats wrong wif me.. maybe its because i pay more attention to my game wif my bro than to her? or i just never tried to be in her shoes... things are getting so much complicated... i can remember the last time i was stress up and was in madness.. since that day till now.. i never had those anymore.. but i can sense its comming back to me.. even when i know that i can always calm down and think slowly... ppl will always make me think even more.. and that is when i get stress from.. actually i was veri happy while playing ps2 wif my brother... but den i also wanted to talk to her on the other hand.. so i tried to finish the game asap... but things dun turn the way its seems to be...
in the end she went to sleep.. cause she is stress.. i starting to get worried abt her.. as she is in the middle of her exams... i made her worried all day abt me in the morning.. cause of wat happen to me... i dunnoe wat to do now to make things better... or maybe i never relise something important happening.. or maybe its me! something wrong wif me.. i dunnoe.. been thinkin it the entire day... so dear.. if you reading this.. i feel that i have fail my part as a boyfriend.. cause i never make thing work out the way it is for the both of us.. or maybe i never comfort u enough or make u feel secure.. i am sorry...=( but the love for you is still strong in me.. i should start to wake up and make things rite... i never give up hope on us.. i will give all i got.. as long i believe i can do it wif god's will...
just now i chat wif ellice.. she said that she is veri veri stress... i really sometimes hate myself for not understanding some of the things she say.. i dun even know or guess wats troubling her.. maybe all i just need to do is to ask.. but how i know that what i do would make things better? she told me to think of wat she done for me and wat i done for her... i know she made alot of sacrifice and done many things for me... and looking back of wat i did for her... i just dunnoe how to compare.. after crying in the morning..i dunnoe why i feel like crying agian now.. after chatting wif her.. i just can't comfort her... i try finding wats wrong wif me.. maybe its because i pay more attention to my game wif my bro than to her? or i just never tried to be in her shoes... things are getting so much complicated... i can remember the last time i was stress up and was in madness.. since that day till now.. i never had those anymore.. but i can sense its comming back to me.. even when i know that i can always calm down and think slowly... ppl will always make me think even more.. and that is when i get stress from.. actually i was veri happy while playing ps2 wif my brother... but den i also wanted to talk to her on the other hand.. so i tried to finish the game asap... but things dun turn the way its seems to be...
in the end she went to sleep.. cause she is stress.. i starting to get worried abt her.. as she is in the middle of her exams... i made her worried all day abt me in the morning.. cause of wat happen to me... i dunnoe wat to do now to make things better... or maybe i never relise something important happening.. or maybe its me! something wrong wif me.. i dunnoe.. been thinkin it the entire day... so dear.. if you reading this.. i feel that i have fail my part as a boyfriend.. cause i never make thing work out the way it is for the both of us.. or maybe i never comfort u enough or make u feel secure.. i am sorry...=( but the love for you is still strong in me.. i should start to wake up and make things rite... i never give up hope on us.. i will give all i got.. as long i believe i can do it wif god's will...
Saturday, October 09, 2004
I Miss Her
lol.. sorry that recently i change my style of typing.. looks so simple and obvious... so i think i stick it the way i used to type=) today met my dear agian! i can't believe it.. she called me in the morning when i was in bed.within the next hour.. i am wif her.. at hougang there.. took 1 hour to reach there.. ate at mac donalds wif her for breadfast... after that i decided to bring to habourfront . cause she never been there... so we took train from hougang.. habourfront the shops were still close as we reach there around 9 plus in the morning... we walk around the shopping center and held each other hand.. i brought her to the view where we can see sentosa from habourfront.. the first thing she said was that next time we live in this place... lol.. i know the view is nice.. not until i told her that i heard from my dad that the place have many ppl died b4.. she got shock alittle and she stare blank into the view.. i hug her and we both enjoy the scenery together... lookin into the sea and sky...even she never wore her contacts.. she still stare blank into the view for quite along time.. i guess she must have miss seeing this kind of views=) should bring her to more places where have nice scenery... the whole morning happen so fast.. it was like a dream... after sending her home... i slept all the way back to clementi.. a long journey.. i relise that i am getting use to traveling this far... all that matters is that i can be wif her.. she seems lost somehow and i really want to make her find her track back in life .. anything just ask me k dear ? *hughug*
the whole morning just happen like that.. sooo fast.. thats why i now still could'nt believe i was wif her in the morning.. anyway.. i got my notes from jun wei and went home after that... played game wif my brother the whole day... i felt so bad to tell my dear to call me back later as i was playing half way wif my brother.. sorry dear... =( but later she came online.. but i still find talking to her is better.. i dunnoe why.. but somehow talking is better... maybe cause i am starting to miss her agian.. i really miss her.. the whole day i thought of her.. even in my dreams.. i studied alittle after playing game.. my accounts tml got tution also.. so its okie =) tml i would be going to my grandmother house .. i guess the whole family would be there.. its has been really a long long time since we met.. everyone was busy doing their own things... they must have left out in their mind that we have a big family.. i never seen my cousin for ages.. and i do miss talking to them lol.. and also see hows my grandmother doing.. i somehow felt that because i can't speak malay well.. i can't communicate wif my grandma well.. the rest of my cousins are closer to her than i do.. i wish i could be closer but i can never express myself ...
it also has been a very long time since i sat down and spend my own sweet time typing into my blog.. one more paper to go on monday.. tml got soccer game !! yea =) long time never play.. this comming friday i would be fasting aready.. my brother have a job for me from his fren.. hope i get it.. its at tanglin mall.. after my exams.. i vow to try my very best to meet my dear everyday.. cause i really do miss her easily.. i never had a long day wif her b4.. we both were always rushing.. so i guess after her exams.. i will bring her somewhere special.. =) hope that she has freedom to go home late cause i would still be fasting ... i am looking forward to my future.. my results must do well.. and spending time wif my dear... our dreams we shared... what hakim said was true.. a relationship is also when both help each other out to reach each other dreams.. and the most special thing wif me and ellice is that we have the same dream =) i find myself that i am really fortunate to have such a wonderful girlfriend like her... felt like i was the luckiest person on earth... even how we met or got to knew each other.. it has lots of unexpected things happening until we both came this far.. i guess that we are fated to get to know each other and been this far.. =) i really thank god for giving me this life to live and having such a wonderful girl who loves me .. i do anything to be wif her forever.. wat i live in this world today is where there are rules.. some rules are meant to be broken and some are important...
i never have thoughts like this for a long long time... i am listening to embrace album... the songs veri nice.. it calms my brain down... slow my pace in life.. i guess i have type more than enough for my entry lol.. all i want to say to my dear is that i love her !! *muacks*
the whole morning just happen like that.. sooo fast.. thats why i now still could'nt believe i was wif her in the morning.. anyway.. i got my notes from jun wei and went home after that... played game wif my brother the whole day... i felt so bad to tell my dear to call me back later as i was playing half way wif my brother.. sorry dear... =( but later she came online.. but i still find talking to her is better.. i dunnoe why.. but somehow talking is better... maybe cause i am starting to miss her agian.. i really miss her.. the whole day i thought of her.. even in my dreams.. i studied alittle after playing game.. my accounts tml got tution also.. so its okie =) tml i would be going to my grandmother house .. i guess the whole family would be there.. its has been really a long long time since we met.. everyone was busy doing their own things... they must have left out in their mind that we have a big family.. i never seen my cousin for ages.. and i do miss talking to them lol.. and also see hows my grandmother doing.. i somehow felt that because i can't speak malay well.. i can't communicate wif my grandma well.. the rest of my cousins are closer to her than i do.. i wish i could be closer but i can never express myself ...
it also has been a very long time since i sat down and spend my own sweet time typing into my blog.. one more paper to go on monday.. tml got soccer game !! yea =) long time never play.. this comming friday i would be fasting aready.. my brother have a job for me from his fren.. hope i get it.. its at tanglin mall.. after my exams.. i vow to try my very best to meet my dear everyday.. cause i really do miss her easily.. i never had a long day wif her b4.. we both were always rushing.. so i guess after her exams.. i will bring her somewhere special.. =) hope that she has freedom to go home late cause i would still be fasting ... i am looking forward to my future.. my results must do well.. and spending time wif my dear... our dreams we shared... what hakim said was true.. a relationship is also when both help each other out to reach each other dreams.. and the most special thing wif me and ellice is that we have the same dream =) i find myself that i am really fortunate to have such a wonderful girlfriend like her... felt like i was the luckiest person on earth... even how we met or got to knew each other.. it has lots of unexpected things happening until we both came this far.. i guess that we are fated to get to know each other and been this far.. =) i really thank god for giving me this life to live and having such a wonderful girl who loves me .. i do anything to be wif her forever.. wat i live in this world today is where there are rules.. some rules are meant to be broken and some are important...
i never have thoughts like this for a long long time... i am listening to embrace album... the songs veri nice.. it calms my brain down... slow my pace in life.. i guess i have type more than enough for my entry lol.. all i want to say to my dear is that i love her !! *muacks*
Friday, October 08, 2004
Sense of freedom!! =)
today had my 2nd last paper for my n levels..
still got 1 more paper!!! ACCOUNTS!! hahaha
yea... i been waiting for this moment...
So far my n levels has been good la..
Sure to make it!! =)
Met ellice for the past 2 days...
I was truly happy whenever i get to meet her..
Today b4 my maths paper.. i went to play pool wif my classmates..
she message my hp saying that she misses me =)
ya.. i miss her too alot...
now i getting a little more free.. so i whenever i have the time
i will always want to see her...
to be wif her.... *hughug*
just now quite lame also wat happen..
i thot the gig was today.. the lime gig at ochard..
its suppose to be on 9 october.. and i thot today was 9 oct !! wahh
hahaha. afiq and jun wei wanted to kill me...
in the end we watch exosist... damn shocking.. until i close my ears..
soo loud.. until my hair stand... hahah.. okie la the show...
tml will be a new day.. and i miss my dear dear.. =(
okie la.. i also nothing much to say ..
nitez matez!!! =)
still got 1 more paper!!! ACCOUNTS!! hahaha
yea... i been waiting for this moment...
So far my n levels has been good la..
Sure to make it!! =)
Met ellice for the past 2 days...
I was truly happy whenever i get to meet her..
Today b4 my maths paper.. i went to play pool wif my classmates..
she message my hp saying that she misses me =)
ya.. i miss her too alot...
now i getting a little more free.. so i whenever i have the time
i will always want to see her...
to be wif her.... *hughug*
just now quite lame also wat happen..
i thot the gig was today.. the lime gig at ochard..
its suppose to be on 9 october.. and i thot today was 9 oct !! wahh
hahaha. afiq and jun wei wanted to kill me...
in the end we watch exosist... damn shocking.. until i close my ears..
soo loud.. until my hair stand... hahah.. okie la the show...
tml will be a new day.. and i miss my dear dear.. =(
okie la.. i also nothing much to say ..
nitez matez!!! =)
Saturday, October 02, 2004
stress?
these few days..
feeling the pressure in my head...
from my family espcially..
my parents keep forcing me to study..
and makes me even more dun want to!!
when can i have my own free will to study?
not ever once they mention anything else expect to study when they see my face...
i understand they want to do well..
but all they do is nagging at me to study..
i feel so stress hearding their nags
it gets stuck in my head and its really distracting me...
my exams 2 more days... i know i can handle this...
my parents just over worried to much..
all they do is force me and worried
how much effect it gets on me?
i feel veri veri stress just now when i came home..
they kept naggin... see my face..
first things say go study..
wtf..................
they never believe in me that i studied
only my results could prove them wrong..
even them saying them..
they still keep pressuring me!!!!!!
=(
sometimes i dun even feel like studying anymore...
i never got stress studying before..
i am not stress abt my exams
they stress me..
why must they give me stress?
aiya....
watever is it..
i shall prove them wrong day..
yes i will!!
feeling the pressure in my head...
from my family espcially..
my parents keep forcing me to study..
and makes me even more dun want to!!
when can i have my own free will to study?
not ever once they mention anything else expect to study when they see my face...
i understand they want to do well..
but all they do is nagging at me to study..
i feel so stress hearding their nags
it gets stuck in my head and its really distracting me...
my exams 2 more days... i know i can handle this...
my parents just over worried to much..
all they do is force me and worried
how much effect it gets on me?
i feel veri veri stress just now when i came home..
they kept naggin... see my face..
first things say go study..
wtf..................
they never believe in me that i studied
only my results could prove them wrong..
even them saying them..
they still keep pressuring me!!!!!!
=(
sometimes i dun even feel like studying anymore...
i never got stress studying before..
i am not stress abt my exams
they stress me..
why must they give me stress?
aiya....
watever is it..
i shall prove them wrong day..
yes i will!!
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
today ... veri tired.. nothing much to post either..actually quite alot of things happen.. lazy to type down and no time to.. all i just want to say is that i love ellice alot... *hughug* even she has been bad mood these few days i still bear wif it.. but after that she is okay wif it =) i want her to be happy.. and i been concern about the problems she had these few days... worries me sometimes.. and i think of her almost everytime.. even in my dreams.. i sleeptalk abt her... can't imagine if i were to ever to forget abt her... because of her.. the meaning of life has been much more meaningful..=) this week is the last week i can study for my exams.. thanks dear.. kk i gtg study liao..
Thursday, September 23, 2004
I never let my dreams slip away! =)
been really busy this days studying i guess ? =) must really do well for my n levels.. than i go for my o levels next year !! can't wait till my n levels are over!! cause i wan freedom!! can go out anytime i want and can work! =) but then i must start fasting after my exams also.. aiya.. nvm.. i can bear the pain...
today watch dougeball *not sure spelling* wif ellice lol.. veri funny movie and short also lol... wanted to watch resident evil 2 but dun have.. lol... i suddenly feel time is fast and slow this days.. when i am in the train and bus traveling.. the time really goes veri slow... without my music.. forgot to bring my headphones today! i was like dying.. only can sleep... but when i was wif ellice .. time really fly damn fast... but it was good times doh =)
my father everyday keep pestering me to break off wif ellice.. but i dun give a damn.. lol.. when he talks abt it.. i ignore him and dun talk to him... he really THINKS TOO MUCH!!! say things until go so far... i guess he dosen't understand the kind of relationship i am having now... he thinks that i doing this for fun and its bad.. lucky.. my brother dosen't objects to it =) but he keeps distrubing me abt first love lol... sometimes it will really happens.. ya know... but i have faith in mine alot.. so i wan to prove him wrong! =)
i feel much more motivated than ever since being wif ellice =) thinking of her makes me wan to have the will of studying.. cause i will not let her down .. thank you dear =) hope i dun distract her studies also.. i wan her to do well and make her parents proud also ... her parents really cares abt her alot.. but somehow not in a correct way i can see... no matter how they treat you they still yur parents k ? =)
actually now i just making my time pass by faster at nite.. waiting for her to call me lol... =) hope i dun fall asleep than never answer... its been quite a while since we really talk on the phone.. hope that tonite shall be the nite agian ... okie .. so i end here ! =)
I will survive!!!
today watch dougeball *not sure spelling* wif ellice lol.. veri funny movie and short also lol... wanted to watch resident evil 2 but dun have.. lol... i suddenly feel time is fast and slow this days.. when i am in the train and bus traveling.. the time really goes veri slow... without my music.. forgot to bring my headphones today! i was like dying.. only can sleep... but when i was wif ellice .. time really fly damn fast... but it was good times doh =)
my father everyday keep pestering me to break off wif ellice.. but i dun give a damn.. lol.. when he talks abt it.. i ignore him and dun talk to him... he really THINKS TOO MUCH!!! say things until go so far... i guess he dosen't understand the kind of relationship i am having now... he thinks that i doing this for fun and its bad.. lucky.. my brother dosen't objects to it =) but he keeps distrubing me abt first love lol... sometimes it will really happens.. ya know... but i have faith in mine alot.. so i wan to prove him wrong! =)
i feel much more motivated than ever since being wif ellice =) thinking of her makes me wan to have the will of studying.. cause i will not let her down .. thank you dear =) hope i dun distract her studies also.. i wan her to do well and make her parents proud also ... her parents really cares abt her alot.. but somehow not in a correct way i can see... no matter how they treat you they still yur parents k ? =)
actually now i just making my time pass by faster at nite.. waiting for her to call me lol... =) hope i dun fall asleep than never answer... its been quite a while since we really talk on the phone.. hope that tonite shall be the nite agian ... okie .. so i end here ! =)
I will survive!!!
Monday, September 20, 2004
Back online! =)
today... weird day i can say... not feeling good today.. because of dunnoe how many things.. feeling sick this morning.. during PE i switch sides lol.. play hockey... than suddenly i felt like scoring own goal.. maybe i am really not feeling well.. ya.. than back to lesson aready no mood.. giddy than i headach then fell asleep.. i got woke up by ellice calling my hp this morning lol.. =) thank you dear.. *hughug* ya.. then she said her parents behaving veri weird doh.. than told her not to worry.. and i forgot to tell her something! ... nvm... i swear to god i will say it the next time i talk to her =)
then when i was having my last 2 periods maths.. suddenly my father sms me say that come home straight after skool.. got important thing to discuss wif me..i got shocked and started thinking of so many things... first thing came to my mind wad ellice.. thinking that they found out abt us or my hand phone bill... lol.. i got soooooooooooo worried and i got distracted for my 2 periods.. then went home.. first thing was my handphone bill.. exceed than my father took my hp away say next month den give back... then my mother say that i got bring girl come to our house.. than i straight away noe that my neighbour sabo !! wahh... feel like knn... but anyway.. it was also my stupidity to hold her hand walking around my house area.. thats wat my brother was laughing at me at.. my parents told me to break wif her.. then i show attitude face lol.. dun care and dun talk to them anymore.. they ask anything i dun wan to say.. whew!! -.-" my father keep saying who is that stupid gal want to be wif this useless guy also.. wahh.. than he say i cheap?!@! >=/ cannot feed parents aready want to hold gal hand.. lol.. i wanted to laugh but cannot ... aiyo.. my brother kept smiling at me.. cause he last time also kena... watever it is i not gonna break ! i dun care.. =) my father say until like find love to so easy like that. saying that girls only go for money.. aiyo.. i listen aready feel like .......!! then when my parents wanna go out.. i manage to get my hp back!! =) *smartsmart* then my father give mother.. then my mother disagree.. then i quickly run away.. lol.. =) and also i get my COMPUTER BACK!!! =) WOO HOO!!! ..... i whole day using my com to recover wat i lost...!
things are really getting back to normal at home for me.. even though i kena scolding.. i dun care.. =) haha... just hide from them.. till the correct time =)
then when i was having my last 2 periods maths.. suddenly my father sms me say that come home straight after skool.. got important thing to discuss wif me..i got shocked and started thinking of so many things... first thing came to my mind wad ellice.. thinking that they found out abt us or my hand phone bill... lol.. i got soooooooooooo worried and i got distracted for my 2 periods.. then went home.. first thing was my handphone bill.. exceed than my father took my hp away say next month den give back... then my mother say that i got bring girl come to our house.. than i straight away noe that my neighbour sabo !! wahh... feel like knn... but anyway.. it was also my stupidity to hold her hand walking around my house area.. thats wat my brother was laughing at me at.. my parents told me to break wif her.. then i show attitude face lol.. dun care and dun talk to them anymore.. they ask anything i dun wan to say.. whew!! -.-" my father keep saying who is that stupid gal want to be wif this useless guy also.. wahh.. than he say i cheap?!@! >=/ cannot feed parents aready want to hold gal hand.. lol.. i wanted to laugh but cannot ... aiyo.. my brother kept smiling at me.. cause he last time also kena... watever it is i not gonna break ! i dun care.. =) my father say until like find love to so easy like that. saying that girls only go for money.. aiyo.. i listen aready feel like .......!! then when my parents wanna go out.. i manage to get my hp back!! =) *smartsmart* then my father give mother.. then my mother disagree.. then i quickly run away.. lol.. =) and also i get my COMPUTER BACK!!! =) WOO HOO!!! ..... i whole day using my com to recover wat i lost...!
things are really getting back to normal at home for me.. even though i kena scolding.. i dun care.. =) haha... just hide from them.. till the correct time =)
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
cold day... =)
today quite fast the day ended ... slept 5 am last nite spend time talking wif ellice on the phone =) quite tired when i was in skool.. slept for 1 period lol... too tired to think... after that i still had extra energy to do the rest of my work.. tml my class more than have of them wun be comming to skool.. telling me not to come too...well. i will come to skool.. i need to study.. plus tml wun really be a hard day... i spend the past few days thinking how can i get into a JC wif my studies like this.. cause in order to be in a good JC must get10 points or below... i got my targets for next year.. but i have to start on my chinese from now .. cause i have a long way to go... my maths,accounts,science i plan to get grade 1 , humans grade 2-3,english 3-4,chinese 3-4.. which totals up to 11 points or more... hopefully my cca point can help me to pull it down even more... i haf to start working hard! but first i must trash my n levels.. to achieve 3 points ... my maths ,accounts and science.. i believe i can score that good... cause this 3 are the easiest to score... english must pass one... i wanna take music for o levels!!!
can't really believe i still can study at a slow rate now for my n levels.. but once my n levels over.. i have many many many things i will wanna do!! go to work,make a music album wif my band,spend more time wif my dear, get some skills like computer skills and many more... i still ppl alot of money.. wah... must really clear my debts.. wif not i never be a free man... and i got one very good news which is i found a replacement drummer over daniel!! whoo hoo!!finaly we can get back to rock n roll yea?mark , afiq and me.. the 3 main members for the time being.. we dream to break into music business and make it big... even everyday i see many musicians all over the place who can play much better than i can.. i still believe i have ways to break even into the main stream... need to practice wif my band alot after the exams.. mark training him up now.. hopefully we can do it.. making the album... =) last nite i talk to ellice.. and ask her to wrote a song abt us.. and make a song out of it =) i wanna go vocal training !! than can sing all i want! haha.. once i have my freedom.. i am gonna doing all i can do to have fun...!!
so okie.. now life has been better for me.. thanks to my dar ellice =) *hughug* love you... hopefully thats more to come in the future yea?
can't really believe i still can study at a slow rate now for my n levels.. but once my n levels over.. i have many many many things i will wanna do!! go to work,make a music album wif my band,spend more time wif my dear, get some skills like computer skills and many more... i still ppl alot of money.. wah... must really clear my debts.. wif not i never be a free man... and i got one very good news which is i found a replacement drummer over daniel!! whoo hoo!!finaly we can get back to rock n roll yea?mark , afiq and me.. the 3 main members for the time being.. we dream to break into music business and make it big... even everyday i see many musicians all over the place who can play much better than i can.. i still believe i have ways to break even into the main stream... need to practice wif my band alot after the exams.. mark training him up now.. hopefully we can do it.. making the album... =) last nite i talk to ellice.. and ask her to wrote a song abt us.. and make a song out of it =) i wanna go vocal training !! than can sing all i want! haha.. once i have my freedom.. i am gonna doing all i can do to have fun...!!
so okie.. now life has been better for me.. thanks to my dar ellice =) *hughug* love you... hopefully thats more to come in the future yea?
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Whatever
yoyoyo!! been bloody long long time since i update... been busy busy wif alot of things.. many things have happen.. heard ppl talking behind my back and ya some tell me.. i heard that some ppl come into my blog reading and gossip behind my back.. who ever reading my blog.. please please please i publish my story to read.. not to gossip .. =) just better be careful wif my personal blog here.. cause i really hate ppl talking on my back!
so okay.. manay things happen.. one of the good news is that I have met Ellice !=) we talk on the phone for 3 nights in a row .. talk until 5 am.. the time when he father gets up.. lol.. we talk abt many things.. abt both of us.. what happen recently.. abt the past.. abt our problems or family.. and abt our future =) talking at nite is when everything comes out from my mouth.. and the best part is that when i say something that i shouldn't say.. sometimes we din pay attention.. too tired i guess... she finally knows abt my ture feelings for her and i am statisfied abt that alot... we were at a point when everything could just end between us.. then i said something that turn things completely back to we were.. and its just keep getting better =) but she was still uncomfortable the things were cause she said that if i could do this to her once.. i could do it twice.. feeling that i would betray her agian.. but doing it for the second time this to her.. i can just got and cut loose myself .. it took awhile for both of us to really settle down until things were clear agian.. it wasn't easy... now that we both are in love agian.. i really feel lucky and bless cause to get a second chance wasn't that easy to get.. one of the reason why i never gave up on her is because.. i truly love her alot.. she was all along in my heart and i could't keep lying to myself.. now that we are back together.. i feel as motivated as ever.. =)
Of how i got to met her was on wednesday 8th september .. i was going to change my ezlink card at bona vista.. i was talking to her on the phone on my way there.. she told me that hougang can also change. lol.. straight came to my mind that i wanted to go hougang.. cause its only 2 stops away from her house.. at first she told me that she wasn't prepared and din wan to meet.. but somehow i presuade her until she agrees to... i waited till her tution ends and went her house the park there and say on a bench and waited.. reminded me of forest gump lol... ya i was anxious to see her.. and there she stood by the steps.. she was shy to approach to me and stood there until i made my move towards her.. =) we started talking and walk around her estate.. i could hardly believe to see her in my eyes.. then we went to coffee bean to sit and talk.. that was when i look into her eyes and talk.. one of my memories that i never forget... her estate there was dangerous.. cause anytime her parents or brother can be passing by.. so we were both quite afraid to walk along the road ... she walk wif me till the bus stop.. which was far from her house.. than i sent her home walking back wif her =) and when she walk towards her house.. i look her till the last moment ... than i was dazing off .. but i was late to go home.. lol.. than i took taxi to city hall and took train.. veri lucky never got scolded and she also lucky her parents not at home .. so lucky... whew...
yesterday we went out to orchard to watch movie.. the terminal..the cinema was soo cold that i stared shivering entering the theather... i held her hand in the cinema and watch to moive... i wasn't really paying attention to the movie.. i was paying more attention looking at her.. my hands were much colder than hers but still we held on... the show lasted for 2.5 hours.. lol.. after the show we had little time left to spent.. so we quicky rush to hereens to take neoprint.. lol.. she told me to pose and i din noe much abt posing so i just look up or down and do something wif my hands.. lol.. well.. not too bad for the first time we took .. lol.. but it still will be kept as a memories as one of our veri first date together.. then i sent her home till her mrt station serangoon... i told her that she will never have to go home from orchard by her own anymore.. i will always be there to sent her back home safe and sound.. she brought me to the front of the train where u can see the train moving forward through the windows ... we just stood there and look in the window through illusion.. its was like a never ending journey.. than she had to change back to her skool uniform cause she told her parents she went to skool lol.. so i reminded her many times so that she wun forget.. and then she went off when i train came.. having the last look at her agian.. i spend exactly one hour from there to reach my house.. i travel miles and miles just to see her... it was all worth spending the time =)
that nite her mum called me to stay away from her and dun ever call her or contact her agian.. after she hang up the call.. i just sat on my chair and thought of ways to handle this situation.. i am willing to take wat is takes to go through this.. and i will never ever let go of her.. we will go through this together.. and one day.. we can be free from our parents... no matter wat happens .. i am not gonna let go of my love.. the love that we have now.. it shall last forever.. i really appriciate the love and care she had for me .. *thank you dear=)* we will hold on together to go through this endless journey in life.. for now..the future lay in our hands.. we create our future together .. =) do all the best in our studies and our career shall come next.. Love you ellice=)
Hey you ppl out there reading.. i hope u appriciate the information of my tale that i given... all the best in life yea? =) ROCK ON!!!
so okay.. manay things happen.. one of the good news is that I have met Ellice !=) we talk on the phone for 3 nights in a row .. talk until 5 am.. the time when he father gets up.. lol.. we talk abt many things.. abt both of us.. what happen recently.. abt the past.. abt our problems or family.. and abt our future =) talking at nite is when everything comes out from my mouth.. and the best part is that when i say something that i shouldn't say.. sometimes we din pay attention.. too tired i guess... she finally knows abt my ture feelings for her and i am statisfied abt that alot... we were at a point when everything could just end between us.. then i said something that turn things completely back to we were.. and its just keep getting better =) but she was still uncomfortable the things were cause she said that if i could do this to her once.. i could do it twice.. feeling that i would betray her agian.. but doing it for the second time this to her.. i can just got and cut loose myself .. it took awhile for both of us to really settle down until things were clear agian.. it wasn't easy... now that we both are in love agian.. i really feel lucky and bless cause to get a second chance wasn't that easy to get.. one of the reason why i never gave up on her is because.. i truly love her alot.. she was all along in my heart and i could't keep lying to myself.. now that we are back together.. i feel as motivated as ever.. =)
Of how i got to met her was on wednesday 8th september .. i was going to change my ezlink card at bona vista.. i was talking to her on the phone on my way there.. she told me that hougang can also change. lol.. straight came to my mind that i wanted to go hougang.. cause its only 2 stops away from her house.. at first she told me that she wasn't prepared and din wan to meet.. but somehow i presuade her until she agrees to... i waited till her tution ends and went her house the park there and say on a bench and waited.. reminded me of forest gump lol... ya i was anxious to see her.. and there she stood by the steps.. she was shy to approach to me and stood there until i made my move towards her.. =) we started talking and walk around her estate.. i could hardly believe to see her in my eyes.. then we went to coffee bean to sit and talk.. that was when i look into her eyes and talk.. one of my memories that i never forget... her estate there was dangerous.. cause anytime her parents or brother can be passing by.. so we were both quite afraid to walk along the road ... she walk wif me till the bus stop.. which was far from her house.. than i sent her home walking back wif her =) and when she walk towards her house.. i look her till the last moment ... than i was dazing off .. but i was late to go home.. lol.. than i took taxi to city hall and took train.. veri lucky never got scolded and she also lucky her parents not at home .. so lucky... whew...
yesterday we went out to orchard to watch movie.. the terminal..the cinema was soo cold that i stared shivering entering the theather... i held her hand in the cinema and watch to moive... i wasn't really paying attention to the movie.. i was paying more attention looking at her.. my hands were much colder than hers but still we held on... the show lasted for 2.5 hours.. lol.. after the show we had little time left to spent.. so we quicky rush to hereens to take neoprint.. lol.. she told me to pose and i din noe much abt posing so i just look up or down and do something wif my hands.. lol.. well.. not too bad for the first time we took .. lol.. but it still will be kept as a memories as one of our veri first date together.. then i sent her home till her mrt station serangoon... i told her that she will never have to go home from orchard by her own anymore.. i will always be there to sent her back home safe and sound.. she brought me to the front of the train where u can see the train moving forward through the windows ... we just stood there and look in the window through illusion.. its was like a never ending journey.. than she had to change back to her skool uniform cause she told her parents she went to skool lol.. so i reminded her many times so that she wun forget.. and then she went off when i train came.. having the last look at her agian.. i spend exactly one hour from there to reach my house.. i travel miles and miles just to see her... it was all worth spending the time =)
that nite her mum called me to stay away from her and dun ever call her or contact her agian.. after she hang up the call.. i just sat on my chair and thought of ways to handle this situation.. i am willing to take wat is takes to go through this.. and i will never ever let go of her.. we will go through this together.. and one day.. we can be free from our parents... no matter wat happens .. i am not gonna let go of my love.. the love that we have now.. it shall last forever.. i really appriciate the love and care she had for me .. *thank you dear=)* we will hold on together to go through this endless journey in life.. for now..the future lay in our hands.. we create our future together .. =) do all the best in our studies and our career shall come next.. Love you ellice=)
Hey you ppl out there reading.. i hope u appriciate the information of my tale that i given... all the best in life yea? =) ROCK ON!!!
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Thursday, August 26, 2004
All the way to glory
haiz... yesterday told my family abt my results which really sucks.... its hard to tell them wat really happen to me during my examination period.. but i also need to be push to score better in my N levels.. cried the whole nite last nite... not just because they scold me or what.. all my sadness i had for the pass few weeks... everything happen just like that.. and now i lost everything.. my father took my computer away.. my handphone.. and i being force to study at home now.. so i hardly will be online aready... some how i need to cool myself down.. i just need to study all i can to do my very best in my n levels..
today just had my new chinese tution which jun wei introduced to me.. lol.. 4 hours!! okie la.. not so bad.. get to eat free mac donalds.. =) the teacher teach also quite fun.. they place to dead people stay one.. got her son super naughty.. make noise lol.. i can't study in quiet play for long.. thats why 4 hours was like nothing.. something to keep my mind going.. my chinese i did super badly for my prelims.. wondering how would i do for my n levels... my other subjects okie la.. my phyics improve alot and my accounts... the rest all okie okie la.. border line.. my english dunnoe why so sucky.. i really suck at expressing myself.. my paper one pull me down alot... paper 2 also very risky...
can't believe my family did a study timetable for me.. but i never follow =X .. i now just only came back ... so tired... besides all abt my studies...i been thinking lately abt ellice... wondering wat would happen.. waiting for answers.. most of the time i thought of happy thoughts that we had.. and feeling very bad abt losing it .. its entirely my fault that i cause this to happen between us.. i blame myself everyday of being foolish.. the reason why i fall for her is because of who she is.. nothing abt her can make me forget abt her... very special... lovely.. kind.. patience.. trustful..and faithful.. no matter how much i think abt it.. i can never rewind back in time.. of wat i lost.. now i just have to pick things up slowy agian...
MING!!! ALL THE WAY TO GLORY!!! GOGOGOGOGOOOOOOOO =)
today just had my new chinese tution which jun wei introduced to me.. lol.. 4 hours!! okie la.. not so bad.. get to eat free mac donalds.. =) the teacher teach also quite fun.. they place to dead people stay one.. got her son super naughty.. make noise lol.. i can't study in quiet play for long.. thats why 4 hours was like nothing.. something to keep my mind going.. my chinese i did super badly for my prelims.. wondering how would i do for my n levels... my other subjects okie la.. my phyics improve alot and my accounts... the rest all okie okie la.. border line.. my english dunnoe why so sucky.. i really suck at expressing myself.. my paper one pull me down alot... paper 2 also very risky...
can't believe my family did a study timetable for me.. but i never follow =X .. i now just only came back ... so tired... besides all abt my studies...i been thinking lately abt ellice... wondering wat would happen.. waiting for answers.. most of the time i thought of happy thoughts that we had.. and feeling very bad abt losing it .. its entirely my fault that i cause this to happen between us.. i blame myself everyday of being foolish.. the reason why i fall for her is because of who she is.. nothing abt her can make me forget abt her... very special... lovely.. kind.. patience.. trustful..and faithful.. no matter how much i think abt it.. i can never rewind back in time.. of wat i lost.. now i just have to pick things up slowy agian...
MING!!! ALL THE WAY TO GLORY!!! GOGOGOGOGOOOOOOOO =)
Monday, August 23, 2004
Tired ....
just finish my keyboard lesson.. lol.. sooooooooooooooooo tired!!!! can die.. after swimming at jurong east ... i feel sooo sick!! running nose lol.. but i learn a song today!! so happy... right here waiting for you.. the whole song manage to play it after a few tries.. pratice makes perfect... my keyboard skills have been improving alot.. !!!=) i am one step closer to my dreams! =) just need to train my vocals now.. dunnoe how to learn or who can teach me.. cause my vocal really suck.. i dun believe that i was born not to sing!! i believe i can train my voice one day !! =)
There are times when i need to be strong
yesterday nite went out wif my class celebrate wei liang birthday.... lol.. go esplanade there walk around take photo then i play guitar at the empty aread there where the break dancers are.. lol.. sing song until so ps ps... =) then we walk walk then go marina bay eat steam boat.. hahahah eat until dun care.. eat lots lots of beef and chicken.... abt 2 giant plates i share wif one fren eat finish.. haha then go champange somemore lol... then photos also... hope i get a copy too... my hair veri weird.. just cut 2 days ago... haha.. just dun feel the same me.. =) got to bear wif it.. the sides are short.. i left my front growing.. wanna have tom delonge hair style .. where the front part cover the eyes.. so when play guitar on stage.. dunnoe to look at ppl and play .. hahaha. =) jkjk i should have my oringnality...
afiq bought the local band eletrico album...so damn bloody nice!!! hahaa,, reminds me the time when i go baybeats at esplanade.. super cool!!! the song i want you is super nice... =) they can go far... one day my dream is the be like that too.. but a bigger one..!! =) today going to jurong east there the swimming complex wif the big slides all that lol.. swim wif my class ppl... i veri tired.. but still go for the sake of them haha.. ho hwee overnight my house... we play game last nite.. until 4 am.. then we talk talk.. until i sleep =x haha.. its fun la.. now he still laying down on the matress on the floor sleeping.. too comfortable aready... well... last nite chat wif ellice on msn... i can't really explain clearly abt my feelings abt her for 2 weeks ago.. but now i am sure wif it... i feel veri bad and guitly for just leaving her like that 2 weeks ago... she was veri hurt by me... until now.. i still feel s0 guitly abt it... i dunnoe wat punnishment must i take to show that i acutally still care ... its never easy going back on track this way in life... but the main point is that.. it is the Track that leads me in life that my dreams are... and most of all i still love her alot... it has been that all along abt my feelings.. being force to forget abt her is a painful thing.. its like taking out a hook off my heart by just pulling it out... also i want show her the way in life should be... there are so many things.. i also learnt a few days ago.. that you will take wat it takes to show how much you love for gal.. so i must make my stand strong and clear now... from where i fall..
Living in this world if full of mysteries and puzzles... fixing and sloving it up pieces by pieces.. slowing you have the clear picture of wat we want... this world needs to be peaceful one day.. all mankind when one day there are no division among each other... everyone is equal.. lead by leaders and beliving in one reason.. that is when there is peace in the world.. regardless of race,religion or blood.. we will be the same... so respecting each other in this world today is the best to keep things peaceful=) understanding is even better...
afiq bought the local band eletrico album...so damn bloody nice!!! hahaa,, reminds me the time when i go baybeats at esplanade.. super cool!!! the song i want you is super nice... =) they can go far... one day my dream is the be like that too.. but a bigger one..!! =) today going to jurong east there the swimming complex wif the big slides all that lol.. swim wif my class ppl... i veri tired.. but still go for the sake of them haha.. ho hwee overnight my house... we play game last nite.. until 4 am.. then we talk talk.. until i sleep =x haha.. its fun la.. now he still laying down on the matress on the floor sleeping.. too comfortable aready... well... last nite chat wif ellice on msn... i can't really explain clearly abt my feelings abt her for 2 weeks ago.. but now i am sure wif it... i feel veri bad and guitly for just leaving her like that 2 weeks ago... she was veri hurt by me... until now.. i still feel s0 guitly abt it... i dunnoe wat punnishment must i take to show that i acutally still care ... its never easy going back on track this way in life... but the main point is that.. it is the Track that leads me in life that my dreams are... and most of all i still love her alot... it has been that all along abt my feelings.. being force to forget abt her is a painful thing.. its like taking out a hook off my heart by just pulling it out... also i want show her the way in life should be... there are so many things.. i also learnt a few days ago.. that you will take wat it takes to show how much you love for gal.. so i must make my stand strong and clear now... from where i fall..
Living in this world if full of mysteries and puzzles... fixing and sloving it up pieces by pieces.. slowing you have the clear picture of wat we want... this world needs to be peaceful one day.. all mankind when one day there are no division among each other... everyone is equal.. lead by leaders and beliving in one reason.. that is when there is peace in the world.. regardless of race,religion or blood.. we will be the same... so respecting each other in this world today is the best to keep things peaceful=) understanding is even better...
Sunday, August 22, 2004
I will make my comeback!
For the first time since the mid year.. i feel super motivated to do well in my n levels.. cause when you know that you have no choice but to take this path in life.. you got no fear of anything.. cause that is the only place you want to be.. even i fell down and hurt me and other ppl... the journey has to be continue.. there is no stopping in this world.. time cannot be control.. so every seconds and every breath counts... I have to make my stand sooner or later.. cause i know how much it will affect me through out my whole life.. I shall make my dreams come true one day.. Even when it is fate that i cannot make it.. ppl saying.. i dun care.. cause i created my destiny.. my way.. i need.. and i decide wat i want to have and i fight for it.. and when the time comes and i make it.. it is fated that i can make it after all.. no one knows wat fate u gonna get.. it always on your mind games.. you decide wat u want.. and you must fight for it! give 100% in everything to achieve it.. I will ever give up in my music.. cause i live wif it.. All the effort i put in it.. it was all worth it.. but still the better to come..
There are so many things need to be done... i lost everything recently.. its sad on how i lost it.. but there is only one thing that i lost which i cried for.. that only one thing has change many things in life in me... i never felt this love from anywhere before.. its just tragic on how things happen.. i cherish everymoment when i was wif her.. but now things has change... things aren't the same .. all i can do abt it now is to hope.. and my passion for fighting her is just like my passion for music.. cause of all the stars that had faded away in the sky.. she is the only hope star there left to reach.. for now i just let the time pass and see how the flow goes.. cause once i found someone like her.. i will never go out to find agian.. cause you will never get to find someone who you want to be wif and is willing to share both dreams together.. its only once in a million..
Everymorning when i wake up, its a brand new day to start with... my tale,my story,my life.. continues to live.. full of twisters in it.. screw up myself many times.. and ppl screwing me down back.. and one day i be the screw driver that either screw ppl up or down.. touch ppl lifes and make a difference for the better.. after my n levels.. i promise myself that i will start making music wif my band.. and slowy we will succed one day.. we have to work very hard for it.. and i would like to thank to all my friends who had been supporting us lately.. even we din did a great job... they still encourage us.. thanks for all the support.. one day when we make it.. i will never forget who support us.. i will remember =) wat matters now is we must make it up there first.. to be worldwide known.. many hard work.. my studies .. i am going to shift it to music.. so i do music study when i grow up... then we have many chances.. yea we build our dream together
The feeling of playing music is the only thing will control my emotions... I love this world.. even it has been bad things happening recently.. I will live wif it.. and live in this world till my last breath.. The world , the people , the music....
There are so many things need to be done... i lost everything recently.. its sad on how i lost it.. but there is only one thing that i lost which i cried for.. that only one thing has change many things in life in me... i never felt this love from anywhere before.. its just tragic on how things happen.. i cherish everymoment when i was wif her.. but now things has change... things aren't the same .. all i can do abt it now is to hope.. and my passion for fighting her is just like my passion for music.. cause of all the stars that had faded away in the sky.. she is the only hope star there left to reach.. for now i just let the time pass and see how the flow goes.. cause once i found someone like her.. i will never go out to find agian.. cause you will never get to find someone who you want to be wif and is willing to share both dreams together.. its only once in a million..
Everymorning when i wake up, its a brand new day to start with... my tale,my story,my life.. continues to live.. full of twisters in it.. screw up myself many times.. and ppl screwing me down back.. and one day i be the screw driver that either screw ppl up or down.. touch ppl lifes and make a difference for the better.. after my n levels.. i promise myself that i will start making music wif my band.. and slowy we will succed one day.. we have to work very hard for it.. and i would like to thank to all my friends who had been supporting us lately.. even we din did a great job... they still encourage us.. thanks for all the support.. one day when we make it.. i will never forget who support us.. i will remember =) wat matters now is we must make it up there first.. to be worldwide known.. many hard work.. my studies .. i am going to shift it to music.. so i do music study when i grow up... then we have many chances.. yea we build our dream together
The feeling of playing music is the only thing will control my emotions... I love this world.. even it has been bad things happening recently.. I will live wif it.. and live in this world till my last breath.. The world , the people , the music....
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Finally a day wif no confusion!=)
haha today exams okie la.. can do do.. my phyics must pass one!! haha .. accounts got few questions dunnoe to do.. haha and one question hold 10 marks plus.. !!! wahh.. hopefully can pass.. i think this prelim was a easy one.. cause i never really study well.. lol.. yea.. now i got one main goal in life.. which i fought for.. =) Ming all the way!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Found my true self =)
finally... this has ended! the thinking all that .. which cause me time damage for the past few days... yea.. i have to set my goal clear.. !!! lucky today history the paper came out the topic which i only studied =) haha... well.. i feel so bless...
Today went out to study wif jun hui,ho hwee,hui ling,jun wei , chee fatt and hannah... i really thankful to have them as frens... =) i guess that friends are important!! they want to see everyone of us happy =) today they comfort me... cause something seriously went wrong... i was kind of angry and abit sad.. ya noe.. the shit feeling comes back... and kim called me at night saying that i told everyone abt wat her sis said to me today... well.. i just wanna get this CLEAR! dun make up stories just like that... i have my friends to be wif.. dosen't mean i am restricted to go wif them.. i have my own freewill.. well i guess this is just some big misdunderstanding.. which i really really hate... aiya.. watever is it... I must still be strong... i was prepared for all this to happen.. shit always happens.. yea i agree!! lol.. alot of ppl keep asking me to patch up wif ellice.. but its like veri bhb ... i dunnoe how to..... but now i got this clear.. when i broke off on monday .. i was 95% sure that it wun work out.. and now its 100% =) haha.. the rate of things i see its going.. so shity .... friends are better of wif.. hahaha now got name for my friends so fun HJ!! haha
Finally i am so happy after 5 days of thinking... now can relec relec.. WOHOO!! =) the feeling of being single is good.. i miss it hahaha.. =) it i am to not to be single agian.. i got to make sure its got to be better than the feeling of being single... i relise that friends like those in the HJ group are true frens... =) had great time wif them... accopany me all along when i was in shit last few days.. thanks for everything =) now i am out of this shity world.. thanks for pulling me out of it.. and where all the truth comes up !!
Now i noe wat i must do.. =) shhshshsh those who know.. haha.. I MUST GET IT !! my destiny ... my life !! YEA>>> ROCK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today went out to study wif jun hui,ho hwee,hui ling,jun wei , chee fatt and hannah... i really thankful to have them as frens... =) i guess that friends are important!! they want to see everyone of us happy =) today they comfort me... cause something seriously went wrong... i was kind of angry and abit sad.. ya noe.. the shit feeling comes back... and kim called me at night saying that i told everyone abt wat her sis said to me today... well.. i just wanna get this CLEAR! dun make up stories just like that... i have my friends to be wif.. dosen't mean i am restricted to go wif them.. i have my own freewill.. well i guess this is just some big misdunderstanding.. which i really really hate... aiya.. watever is it... I must still be strong... i was prepared for all this to happen.. shit always happens.. yea i agree!! lol.. alot of ppl keep asking me to patch up wif ellice.. but its like veri bhb ... i dunnoe how to..... but now i got this clear.. when i broke off on monday .. i was 95% sure that it wun work out.. and now its 100% =) haha.. the rate of things i see its going.. so shity .... friends are better of wif.. hahaha now got name for my friends so fun HJ!! haha
Finally i am so happy after 5 days of thinking... now can relec relec.. WOHOO!! =) the feeling of being single is good.. i miss it hahaha.. =) it i am to not to be single agian.. i got to make sure its got to be better than the feeling of being single... i relise that friends like those in the HJ group are true frens... =) had great time wif them... accopany me all along when i was in shit last few days.. thanks for everything =) now i am out of this shity world.. thanks for pulling me out of it.. and where all the truth comes up !!
Now i noe wat i must do.. =) shhshshsh those who know.. haha.. I MUST GET IT !! my destiny ... my life !! YEA>>> ROCK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, August 16, 2004
Darn.. really miss the times when i went to Mount Ophir last year.... It was great!!!=) Si cheng and me in the photo there lol... i think nothing really change in both of us in looks haha... first Time ever i felt i conquer a mountain... 4 days... i love sleeping in the tent at night in the jungle.. haha.. so cooling.. sleeping in my boxers... lol... then extremely dark at night.. wanna pee cannot walk to the place where to pee one.. haha anyhow aim.. =) haha... then at night always talk alot.... talk wif the sirs and other skool ppl... met alot of new ppl.. i really respect the rangers over there... they ROCK!! =) I Really Miss The Days We had fun !!! hope we can climb agian together after our exams! =)
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Confusion
Now is just only 1 day away from my prelims.. lol.. i only studied alittle.. well.. today i had a fear in me.. i dunnoe .. its just fear... i fear that my relationship would just affect me.. it has change me life... hard to describe it here.. wif just words.. i can never draw a clear picture of it... even now after talking to kimberly and ellice wif all my thoughts.. i still have a fear in me.. i dunnoe .. it seems strange... i talk to kimberly 2 days ago told her why i made my decision to go on wif her.. everything just came out all from me.. lol.. it was a moment that i ever wanted to have to express my emotions... b4 we talk on that day.. something happen at mac donalds.. lol.. dunnoe if i should type it here.. playing turth or dare wif my classmates .. and we 2 had to do something.. ya noe.. =)
anyway... i am not sure if i am doing the correct thing .. thats the fear i have in me... my life should be go on normal.. but sometimes this kind of things happen... got struck by love.. and i lose all my focus.. and i lose focus because i dun feel things are going rite... it always happen to me like this.. and i hate it... because i always jump to conclusion.. wat had happen to my thinking ? maybe i should let it go and thing will get better.. but that dosen't always work... so yea.. now having a relationship does makes me think more... i am so confuse now... there are so many things i am afraid of.. how can i face it? wat will i do? my mood will depend on how the flow goes... now my mood is like lifeless... listening to songs.. kept repeating.. until its kept in my head..
i hope i get things striaght as soon as possible... =)
anyway... i am not sure if i am doing the correct thing .. thats the fear i have in me... my life should be go on normal.. but sometimes this kind of things happen... got struck by love.. and i lose all my focus.. and i lose focus because i dun feel things are going rite... it always happen to me like this.. and i hate it... because i always jump to conclusion.. wat had happen to my thinking ? maybe i should let it go and thing will get better.. but that dosen't always work... so yea.. now having a relationship does makes me think more... i am so confuse now... there are so many things i am afraid of.. how can i face it? wat will i do? my mood will depend on how the flow goes... now my mood is like lifeless... listening to songs.. kept repeating.. until its kept in my head..
i hope i get things striaght as soon as possible... =)
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
A new beginning
The revolution in my life .... Once again.. A rush of blood has change my world.. I hope it won't affect my studies.. My exams only next week!! LOL... Actually I am sad wad has happen... Even though sounds like I lost everything, I still have someone who is there all along.. Waiting for me.. Since I ever found out that she was there all along.. I never ever thought that even me going on a relationship wif another person.. She is still there waiting.. I truly appreciate it.. Last nite was one of my most worst nitemare.. A event that I never dreamt that would happen.. Now I just pushing all this sad moments one side of my life.. And live on wif life.. I can't be stuck forever... This morning.. I truly feel super sad.. flash back about the past wat I did wif ellice.. Everyone ask me why I feel so down and restless.. i almost cried... for what i have lost...
Now its time to change things... everybody's changing... and i dun feel the same... a new world order in my life... really boost up my moral after i went to celebrate hui ling's birthday just now.. i went home and did my homework.. for the first time this year.. i manage to control my moral .. mode to study.. and now all the things that hit me this morning .. immune to it now.. i guess that there are somethings in this world u can't ever change.. only u can change the way how u look at it.. all about how u set your mind to think... thats why i would really like to make my ending last nite related to avril lavinge- my happy ending... i dun want to end up getting shit.. now its just the begining... my life.. my pride.. my love..
Now its time to change things... everybody's changing... and i dun feel the same... a new world order in my life... really boost up my moral after i went to celebrate hui ling's birthday just now.. i went home and did my homework.. for the first time this year.. i manage to control my moral .. mode to study.. and now all the things that hit me this morning .. immune to it now.. i guess that there are somethings in this world u can't ever change.. only u can change the way how u look at it.. all about how u set your mind to think... thats why i would really like to make my ending last nite related to avril lavinge- my happy ending... i dun want to end up getting shit.. now its just the begining... my life.. my pride.. my love..
Friday, August 06, 2004
Smart Ass =)
MUAHAHHAhahahha.. finally got my internet back on!! so happy... life is now back to normal... =) i yesterday tried so many times to slove this shit.. then today try agian.. thanks to the hijackthis.. then got this stupid newdotnet programe.. the thing that block my internet...then i go and kill it.. hahaha..*clapclap* =) now my wallpaper okie aready.. no more spy!!! hahaha...
Well.. actually today wasn't really a good day even though had national day celebration in skool. had the tanglin idol performance today.. wif was soooooooooooooooo fucked up!! i dun blame the class ... i blame the PA SYSTEM!!!!! wahh.. totally a disaster... spoil the whole performance.. music is the key of the performance which they fuck it up... never let me test the instruments b4 the performance.. then last min bass cannot play.. wahh... then no bass aready no fun.. everyone is important... then my guitar make until soooooooo soft... wah... then ppl thought i k siao play one.. actually i was really really really really dissapointed... my class put in all the effort they had.. and this things fucked up.. the pa crew behind sleeping.. when the part to play the cd.. they still can laugh and talk... wat kind of ppl incharge were they.. one lesson learn today.. dun 100% trust any ppl incharge of the pa system .. 3 ppl infront the mixer!! doing nothing... OMG!! they think they so smart noe all this and that.. then ask them to put my instruments.. still can ask me where to put... lol... pa crew my ass... i think the sec 4 badge are still better pa crews.. no getting worse.. even wif better equipments.. its like monkeys using the tools for the first time if they were to do a great job....
Can't help it.. well... its all over.. got 3rd position... we gave all we got.. still dissapointed doh...nvm... perhaps on talent time i shall reperform agian.. see who is willigy to be in my leauge this time round... shall make it a special performance ever to be played.. and one thing i must be sure!! dun trust the pa crew.. i will get my own audio engineer to help me do the settings.. if they dun allow that.. i shall use my own equips.. must give the best of all of us!! yea.. i hope we can do it.. but remember!! PRELIMS aready sooooo near.. dun focus on this too much.. must study... =) haha...
Just now went to pizza hut eat wif shi lin,jun wei,kimberly and hui ling.. lol.. we were just showing how dissapointed we were.. but the mood was like celebration haha.. =) then we went to play bowling.. which i long time never play hahaha.. well i learn a new skill today how to bowl.. yea! then after that went to mc donalds.. see jun wei soooooo disgusting.. go drink toiled bowl water and drink my sailva plus kimberly's and huiling's!! WHAHAHAH SICKO!!! i wannt puke aready... then he eat the fries wif that mix also... yucks yucks yucks!! hahahha .... after seeing that i wanna puke aready haha... respect him man!! jun wei u rock!!! =)
Anyway.. so far my plans for now seems rather blur.. so many things happening.. i trying my best to type what happen... lol.. today aready this much.. dunnoe how to fill in the rest.. haha =) okie now its time to enjoy the internet access which i gain back!!! WOOOO HOOO!!!! =)
Well.. actually today wasn't really a good day even though had national day celebration in skool. had the tanglin idol performance today.. wif was soooooooooooooooo fucked up!! i dun blame the class ... i blame the PA SYSTEM!!!!! wahh.. totally a disaster... spoil the whole performance.. music is the key of the performance which they fuck it up... never let me test the instruments b4 the performance.. then last min bass cannot play.. wahh... then no bass aready no fun.. everyone is important... then my guitar make until soooooooo soft... wah... then ppl thought i k siao play one.. actually i was really really really really dissapointed... my class put in all the effort they had.. and this things fucked up.. the pa crew behind sleeping.. when the part to play the cd.. they still can laugh and talk... wat kind of ppl incharge were they.. one lesson learn today.. dun 100% trust any ppl incharge of the pa system .. 3 ppl infront the mixer!! doing nothing... OMG!! they think they so smart noe all this and that.. then ask them to put my instruments.. still can ask me where to put... lol... pa crew my ass... i think the sec 4 badge are still better pa crews.. no getting worse.. even wif better equipments.. its like monkeys using the tools for the first time if they were to do a great job....
Can't help it.. well... its all over.. got 3rd position... we gave all we got.. still dissapointed doh...nvm... perhaps on talent time i shall reperform agian.. see who is willigy to be in my leauge this time round... shall make it a special performance ever to be played.. and one thing i must be sure!! dun trust the pa crew.. i will get my own audio engineer to help me do the settings.. if they dun allow that.. i shall use my own equips.. must give the best of all of us!! yea.. i hope we can do it.. but remember!! PRELIMS aready sooooo near.. dun focus on this too much.. must study... =) haha...
Just now went to pizza hut eat wif shi lin,jun wei,kimberly and hui ling.. lol.. we were just showing how dissapointed we were.. but the mood was like celebration haha.. =) then we went to play bowling.. which i long time never play hahaha.. well i learn a new skill today how to bowl.. yea! then after that went to mc donalds.. see jun wei soooooo disgusting.. go drink toiled bowl water and drink my sailva plus kimberly's and huiling's!! WHAHAHAH SICKO!!! i wannt puke aready... then he eat the fries wif that mix also... yucks yucks yucks!! hahahha .... after seeing that i wanna puke aready haha... respect him man!! jun wei u rock!!! =)
Anyway.. so far my plans for now seems rather blur.. so many things happening.. i trying my best to type what happen... lol.. today aready this much.. dunnoe how to fill in the rest.. haha =) okie now its time to enjoy the internet access which i gain back!!! WOOOO HOOO!!!! =)
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
SuckA MOrning!!
wahh... suppose to go sentosa wif the class this morning.. then last min my parents dun allow.. kena scold like f... watever... prelims so near must study ya rite.. even i stayed at home today.. u think its gonna make me study? got piss off.. then play ps2 the whole morning.. afternoon i am gonna sleeeeep!! then night band practice in my room.. such a shit day.. the starting aready sucks.. i guess the ending would be a career ender.. i haven change my clothes since this morning.. aready pack everything up nice nice.. then kena jam at home!! wahh.... whaha... this shit i get everyday.... i am just drafting away from home.. gettin sick of it.. at least if i leave it for a moment.. i get to miss home.. but now its the opposite.. getting sick.. no matter wat i have at home.. it will never ease my pain.. such a pain in the ass sitting here ... wtf is wrong with me these days.. maybe i am in illusion of hell.. everything seems nothing to let me have free flow of life.. chokin when the rush of blood wants to get to my head..
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Just another day
today really got diaroheer (dunnoe to spell) lol... so damn bloody irritating!! wake up aready.. i kena liao.. stay in toliet like half hour in the morning.. almost late for skool.!! haha... than today i relief kenny for parade commander.. i sacred i kena strike when i giving command only.. hehe.. lucky never kena.. ya yesterday principal came to my class talk abt shi lin.. cause he seems to be not okie.. he must be stressed up or something wasn't just right... than i told the principal that the problem wif him is that .. he just need a good fren.. who can really be like a partner wif him.. cause he dosen't seem to be mixing well wif the ppl in my class... i noe him well cause of ncc.. my assistant doh.. even he wasn't there when i needed help.. its okie la... i know he trying his best.. and he always want to give his 100% .. he is strong and smart... but than dunnoe why he suddenly stressed up now.. soo worried why he like that..
than today in class.. i was talking to my other frens abt him.. cause he change his seating place.. my frens were asking me when my another fren who sat behind him cry.. than i say i dunnoe.. than suddenlly he turn to me and said " you think i acting is it ming?? " than i was like ????????????????????? lol.. than he turn back.. and kept looking at me.. as though i done something wrong or wad.. aiya... than he apologise to me and my fren.. than i said relax mate!! than he walk out the class and talk to my teacher... its no point making him go treatment or wad.. HE JUST NEED A FRIEND!! i want to be his friend.. not because of sympanthy or wad.. because he is smart!! can learn from him!! than can study together wad.. which is a good idea i guess?? lol.. i talk to him abt other things too.. like computers or music.. he is those very hands on type .. also those serious study type.. i hope my relationship with him wun driffed away... i just dun wan to see my fren being like this.. i just can't bear to see him ending out like that.. den now he sitting near to me .. hope i can help him.. =) also i met the principal after skool.. she ask me abt him.. than i said he is okie.. than my principal say that he will approach to me if he needs help.. than hope i can really help him..
hope things will work out! =) after skool went to sell fruits to teacher.. lol.. sell banana,grapes and lychee... haha... look so lame selling fruits.. like i cannot get enough money like that.. haha.. than after that i went home to jam wif daniel.. haha.. he kepy playing chirstian songs.. even i am not a christian.. i like the songs.. haha.. really.. its nice music =) than i play the songs wif him.. after playing music i got tired.. than i start writing my blog la.. cause like so long nver update hehe...okie okie la.. enough talkin crap!! haha..
than today in class.. i was talking to my other frens abt him.. cause he change his seating place.. my frens were asking me when my another fren who sat behind him cry.. than i say i dunnoe.. than suddenlly he turn to me and said " you think i acting is it ming?? " than i was like ????????????????????? lol.. than he turn back.. and kept looking at me.. as though i done something wrong or wad.. aiya... than he apologise to me and my fren.. than i said relax mate!! than he walk out the class and talk to my teacher... its no point making him go treatment or wad.. HE JUST NEED A FRIEND!! i want to be his friend.. not because of sympanthy or wad.. because he is smart!! can learn from him!! than can study together wad.. which is a good idea i guess?? lol.. i talk to him abt other things too.. like computers or music.. he is those very hands on type .. also those serious study type.. i hope my relationship with him wun driffed away... i just dun wan to see my fren being like this.. i just can't bear to see him ending out like that.. den now he sitting near to me .. hope i can help him.. =) also i met the principal after skool.. she ask me abt him.. than i said he is okie.. than my principal say that he will approach to me if he needs help.. than hope i can really help him..
hope things will work out! =) after skool went to sell fruits to teacher.. lol.. sell banana,grapes and lychee... haha... look so lame selling fruits.. like i cannot get enough money like that.. haha.. than after that i went home to jam wif daniel.. haha.. he kepy playing chirstian songs.. even i am not a christian.. i like the songs.. haha.. really.. its nice music =) than i play the songs wif him.. after playing music i got tired.. than i start writing my blog la.. cause like so long nver update hehe...okie okie la.. enough talkin crap!! haha..
Saturday, July 10, 2004
hell been since a while typing in my blog.. =) just woke up only.. later must go BBQ at west coast part.. for one of the ncc gal part c bdae lol... i now still very tired .. like very lazy to go.. but i aready agree to meet the rest.. well... i guess i still have to go.. dicky comming to my house today also thats why! haha... the pic was taken ard apirl or march.. having photo taking session for my band haha.. so far now i still dun really get to play keyboard in my band.. guess i have to really train very hard on my keyboard ... the song i learning now is coldplay yellow.. so if i master this song.. i can play wif my band aready hehe... aiya... i now wan to make a band that can really make good music.. by the way i look it now.. not everyone is motivated enough either.. espcially hisham.. aiya.. i got to kick him out somehow .. cause he dosen't have the burning disire to make music... daniel now have been improving since than.. but he joins another band also in my band.. then now i also dunnoe where he wants to be.. it would be a huge impact if he leaves... now we just train up our skills... after my n levels.. i wanna start making music aready... cause it really has been wat i wanted to do always... a music composed and when ppl listen.. and alot of them will like it.. one of the thing that i can't do in my life now is to bring up the moral and shake everyones bud.. i will prove to the world one day.. cause i tried talking infront of ppl b4.. they would just keep quiet .. and now i noe.. i can't speak wif my words.. i will speak wif my music the next time... i am not really a good speaker in a crowd.. maybe i am nervous or wad.. i dunnoe .. lets see abt that.. now also been trying hard to study ... in class now more focus .. haha.. okie la.. so far it has been good for me =)
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Today seems very fast.. wahh LAsT DAY!! tml skool!! must start studying aready... well today woke up a ard 8 plus.. watch the malmsteen guitar video.. lol its damn cool!! i try out the hot licks.. damn bloody nice.. never imagine i could play a few of his hot licks.. then i play play until 12 plus.. then i relise i was to suppose to practice my keyboard.. cause my teacher comming tml!! wahh.. my scaling still like shit!! damn it.. i think tonite no need to sleep aready.. do my skoolwork plus practice... tml somemore must give command in parade square!!! wahh i never try b4.. cause last time in hall.. i hope i am loud enough... then ard 1 plus i went out wif my family to eat at jurong point... then bought BaD Blood Vcd wrestling haha... i only watch one match.. the match is like 1 hour?? wahah .. i watch until i sleep then wake up only see the last part... i feel i din done much today!! aiya... maybe because of my stupid camps... then i bring the ps2 into my room just now.. the graphic SUPERB!!! cause the tv is better wad.. haha.. just change it last nite.. aiya.. i still got better things to do wan acutally.. i still haven clean my room.. in a big big mess.. i still haven pack my skool bag... still haven whiten my shoes.. wah.. can die aready... somemore tml.. i must go ginza repair my specs... then go home striaght away practice my keyboard... i hope i make it on time... please.. haha... now aready want to dinner.. can smell the TOM YAM SOAP haha... so strong my mother cookin.. can't wait to eat... :p~~ anyway just now i tink i discover one nice song.. its anthem of the dying day.. think so only.. wah i very fast forget.. damn it.. nvm nvm.. .one day will find back... i lazy to type aready.. so tired.. somemore i got nothing else to say.. wat i noe that today i wasted MY TIME!!!!
Friday, June 25, 2004
hello!! wahh.. today finally finish my camp the whole week!! YEs YES! YEs!! monday until wed got ncc camp.. then thursday until today can student council camp... IT SUCKSS!!!! i hate student council.. being treated like dog under the the EXCO=ASSHOLES!!! even i sec 4 want to pass out aready.. still put us the same as sec 2 and 3 .. .really boils my bloody MIND!!! arh... i just wanna leave the council asap .. can't stand them... big F!@$Kers... anyway wanna go play soccer now!!! yea yuea!! fun fun !! yea. .ahaha.. also finally got my phone back from those F!@#kers who took my phone yesterday.. really can't stand em... think they big F(@k! wtf i dun give a damn abt u all anymore.. i am not a idiot get it? watever it is.. i tell u kids!! i rather walk!!! >=( ahh gtg liao... type maybe later tonite! =) ROCK ON!!!
Saturday, June 12, 2004
hello.. my blog seems dead for the past few months haha.. okie okie... many many many things have happen to me during those moments.. alot of sadness but i manage to overcome it and make life better =) well today had a crazy day.. cycled to west coast park wif my frens to prepare for the outing during ncc camp.. then we went there and play the playground.. there is one thing there that u hold on the pole then u will spin like mad dog.. non stop!!! wahh... until now i still can feel it!! big headach... lol... okok back to wat happen to me... ya since i stop writing my blog.. life had really great as i can say... whenever there is trouble happening to me i manage to overcome it ... even i had my chances of relationship being offer i just can't simply take it cause i am not confident abt it... and also on the other hand i got to chat wif ellice agian... the last time i chat wif her was last year.. and this year after nearly haf a year.. i manage to chat wif her agian.. its like a total diffrent person i knew her a year ago... maybe i wasn't bothered to noe abt her well enough last year.. okie i am so sorry for her cause i was like ignoring her and only cared abt my own things.... ya.. now then i relise how stupid i was .. now i got to know her well and i never regreted knowing her..=) in fact i should be greatful.. its like someone u thought that will never be the girl that u ever dream off.. since this year.. i started relising that i was wrong abt her all along since last year... she is the one i dreamt of everynight.. one of the main thing that she attracted my attention was her passion for music.. i was soo impress and she also had a same dream as mine.. infact wat i dreamt for a girl who will support me during my career.. infact .. ellice is even better than that.. she herself wan to share the same career as me.. i relise that everyone has something special in them which they could be very useful.. just the matter of us wanting to use the special tools or not.. and being forced not to use it by the ppl around yur life everyday agianst you is one of the hardest stage of life that you have to face.. with the power of believing u can acheive can overcome this stage of life.. this is the only one of the many reason why i think that she is the one.. she has the characters,the charmness, the ability and heart =) if your reading this .. no offence.. =) i just wan to be ture to myself when i refesh my mind abt my happenings... one of the reason why i feel more motivated and do think twice of wat i do is because of her.. even i never talk or met her before.. the way she talks is totally diffreny.. even wif just now words we know each other.. i can feel it.. the wind you can't see it.. you can only feel it.. i really that hope one day we can really each other in person.. waiting for the chance to happen is worth it.. even the odds are agianst me sometimes.. i will never fall and fail to acomplish my destiny..
and yea.. i also went to the EIC camp few weeks ago.. 4 days.. it was a camp there u never imagine of how much it can really change yur life.. it first of all make me stronger to believe in wat i am doing and how to make business.. and now i dun get easily fear... i will take every chances i have as they dun come easily.. even i may be small in the camp someone who dosen't learn much.. i dun imply it by showing ppl..i imply it rite to myself to keep me going... i will give what all i got when i start.. the time haven't really come yet... i will start when i can feel it.. even many ppl think i am over confident.. they are worried for me.. come on!! i need to do things confidently... in order to be confident i must do alot of work.. it dosen't come soooo easily... no one will shatter my dreams.. cause i noe wat i fight for.. so far since after my mid-year i was happy and sad abt my results.. and i am going to really study for my prelim and n levels !! i can do it! yes yes i can... after believing in wad i can do.. its time for action! i hope that one day it will come through=)
now i still having headach.. i hope i din type rubbish or anything.. cause i really wan to update my blog... haha okok i stop now.. my head soo painful!!
and yea.. i also went to the EIC camp few weeks ago.. 4 days.. it was a camp there u never imagine of how much it can really change yur life.. it first of all make me stronger to believe in wat i am doing and how to make business.. and now i dun get easily fear... i will take every chances i have as they dun come easily.. even i may be small in the camp someone who dosen't learn much.. i dun imply it by showing ppl..i imply it rite to myself to keep me going... i will give what all i got when i start.. the time haven't really come yet... i will start when i can feel it.. even many ppl think i am over confident.. they are worried for me.. come on!! i need to do things confidently... in order to be confident i must do alot of work.. it dosen't come soooo easily... no one will shatter my dreams.. cause i noe wat i fight for.. so far since after my mid-year i was happy and sad abt my results.. and i am going to really study for my prelim and n levels !! i can do it! yes yes i can... after believing in wad i can do.. its time for action! i hope that one day it will come through=)
now i still having headach.. i hope i din type rubbish or anything.. cause i really wan to update my blog... haha okok i stop now.. my head soo painful!!
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
after all the blogs i have made.. i still think that blogspot is still the best =) ... all i ever wanted was a nice blog where i can express my thoughts and feelings... also reminding me how i was... i feel better somehow typing out all my thoughs in day.. sometimes i may not have the time.. but i still think that i should spare a little time expressing myself here everyday.. actually today was quite a usual day like the rest even though the australians visited my skool.. i neva got a chance to interact wif them as i was only doing the underground work.. aiya.. well.. i find that nice and cool... =) they are much more passionate ppl as i can say cause they we will united together and give their best shots... i haven been doing my hwk for quite a while.. i just dun feel like doing at home cause i need rest to go skool tml.. the homework are like killing me.. but no choice.. got to do also in the end... i do all my work in skool as i can concentrate better and no distractions.everyday feels like the same to me.. nothin much happen.. i dunnoe wat the hell i am doing or wat is going on.. i dun wan to live a life like this ... i want a cheerful life where many things happens everyday and i wish that i could never feel tired... like this i can spend doing soo many things wif time.. most of my time are wasted on sleeping and resting.. which i think its kind of shortening my life spend.. i wish i could live in a world wif full of music and enjoyment... even though i have all i ever want... whats the point of having every single damn thing if u dun haf anyone to share it wif... that spoils my happiness sometimes... if i were to go through much more than now.. all the sufferings and enjoyments.. i could know wat life is.. now i can admit that i am not suffering much .. which is gonna happen for next few years... i know its just gonna happen.. i think from now onwards.. i must fight all that stops me.. fight for the best of me... study is a must.. and my music is also a must..... come on!! i can do it!! yea? okok..i rememebered how i toture myself last year.. sleep damn late like 3am drink coffee do hwk.. now i also can do it!! come on.... hehe... i make sure i will finish it tonite.. from tml onwards.. i will live up my life to the fullest... !!! do all i can to spend every second of my time ... okok... i will make very sure i pass my mid year wif flying colours!!! yea!!! hehe...
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