seize the day

today was quite a long day? well i went to school had normal lessons then was like everything is normal.think i am slightly more hard working now? but still need to push way more. coming to think of it, about my situation. i have quite alot of things in my mind and i need to do.

1-choose the 2nd song for zero to hero ( should be choosing tress by marty casey
2-settle russel bass
3-settle my debts that i owe.. oh yea oh yea bros before hoes
4-do my tutorials
5-making sure everything is okay for bozo
6-booking my car TP this friday
7-finding a time for my bike prac
8-preparing songs to jam this friday in my house.
9-prove the people wrong who don't have confidence in me singing
10-canoe training this saturday must go

i got to like list things out so i can catch my breath and move on. it has always been a hell of a roller coaster ride for me all these while.damn shagged now.. update more later =)

don't cry

it felt empty today and it has been going through my mind alot of times wondering whats wrong and gonna happen. i spent most of my time jiwang in school today .. lol.. especially with firdaus he and his malay jiawang songs.. making me feel more emo.. we just sat at the atrim while waiting for shim haha.. mark called my hp just to mention that he is just only 6 meters away! wtf haha.. its like u noe.. haiz... after school went home to pass them my towel and shirt. then went of for np strings. the best time to jiwang and play guitar. got alot to catch up duo haha.. long time never play so damn rusty. tml is my IS day so yea its gonna be a farking short day. and having my bike practical in the morning .. =)and jamming practice in the evening.. and then go WATCH TRANSFORMERS!! WOOHOO!!!! =)

today i missed percival gl outing farking sad =(
also din get to train at the gym

all i noe ... fir yur rite.. jiwang the best hahaha

sore

hello... omg i kinda of slept the whole day!!! when i reached home from vocals i straight away knocked out and slept for like 6 hours!!! haha..woke up and ate my dinner.. finally! =) well today seems to pass by so fast i dunnoe why.. it felt weird .tml school starts at 8. i wanna watch transformers =( but all busy

shoped

i finally changed my pick up!! wohoo.. dimarzio pick ups!! each cost $120 .. but its times 3.. so its $360 !!! hahahaha.. but its awesome la.. my guitar now AKA my wife is WOHOO!! hahaha.. power to the core! ... can rock anytime anywhere... anyway the whole day was in town.. walking up and down the streets or roads of bugis.. ate ZAM ZAM wohooo power! =) eat until shiok.. then go esplanade chill out.. ate ice cream .. green tea is nice okay!! haha.. don't blame.. my taste buds said so! =)

anyway.. life is getting back to normal..
the thoughts i kept in my way.. worrying...
sometimes i feel that i should had done more
but i guess that luck has never been on my side
unlucky choices and always am a jinx to such stuffs
explains my 2 years of single hood..

what fir said is true .. JIWANG THE BEST hahaha.. means emo the best.. always emo emo emo elmo haha.. it makes us realize what life is sometimes.. thats why ..

bless troubles

heeelllooo.. i just went to check out bryan adams video on youtube.. he is so damn bloodly good la!! check this out he sing wif celine dion

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QkAYSUjtLbs&mode=related&search=

this is like WAHAHHAHAHA!! i wished i had a wife that could that with me on our wedding someday..

anyway.. i would like to say something that i should had a long time.. for these past few months.. my life has always been ups and downs.. i really really wanna thank those who had been there for me... even when i was outcast and when i just simply wanna emo alone .. i couldnt imagine what could i possible done without u guys.. i know i have been like sissy boy who always emo and feel down when things don't work out.. and hearing all my repeated thoughts.. you know who you are if u had =) you guys were awesome.. seriously.. even when i was out of hopes and wanted to give up.. yet you all encouraged me to go on and fight till the end.. no wonder i always enjoyed chilling out with you guys.

i just wanna say thank you guys! =) ( shim,klemon,mark,russ,cy)

well abt my mission? its comming to an end.. i dunnoe whether to say its a bad or good news.. before it ends i must use my last bullet... or else i will just shot myself.. so don't tell me its not worth trying for even when i am left with 1 bullet and a broken heart.

scars reminds us of who we are and what we went through in life. the blood shed shall not be forgotten. so that we will know what to look ahead in life =)

i always wanted to write a song about my emo thoughts
so yea the title is gonna be "Broken dreams"

i am into alot of screamo and hard trash this few days.. it has made me kind of wanna train more and more energy..

just jammed just now wif mark and chek wye.. haha.. its like a pain relief for me screaming my heart out.. singing what hurts the most screamo version haha.. still deciding wad 2nd song for our competition..

rock for life brothers!

hold on

omg i never ever thought i would be like this again.. okok remember what my mission is.. check cover . check blind spot.. coast clear.. then GO!! no matter what intelligence or distraction never fail that mission! thank god i understand Chinese so it does help me with my mission.. i have only 1 bullet left in my rifle.. who should i shoot?

this mission isnt an easy one.. so its more victorious if the battle is won. make sure no last man standing and i go conquer and capture ! with dirt on my hands and into my eyes.. i glared at the enemy for a long time .. the hostage is kept somewhere in the basement .. i need a plan... i only have 1 bullet..

the world needs help!

tired !

now in class doing nothing much but just to day dream.. slept late last night.. so i had abit trouble getting up due to my body aching all over.. because of training.. omg it hurts like hell and i cant move much now.. today actually nothing much to do in school.. can sleep and all haha.. only came school to actually do my SA remedial .
enrolled my bike license yesterday so yea.. soon enough gonna star riding =) no worries abt transport and being lazy and all ..

well i got to say life is much better than i expected somehow.. been going to the gym quite alot to work out and all.. being happy and carefree but well i always worried abt my studies.. i think i need to actually plan out my schedule so life wont be so messy.. if i count the things i need to do until the end of year.. hrmm let me list

1- save money for my guitar pick up EMG!!
2- finish my bike license
3- finish my car license
4- get to go singfest wif a7x mxpx and all!! =)
5- go baybeats catch chris band
6- study like hell to push my grades
7- train for canoe expedition comming soon
8- practice for np strings solo songs
9- to win zero to hero band competition
10- make my own album of music
11- get a girlfriend so i can stop worrying so much
12- form a soccer team to play soccer weekly
13- get my own bike
14- plan my financial solutions
15- to start working again somehow ! so i can go shopping!
16- to upgrade my house jam room.. need bigger amps! more cymbals.. at least 80% sound proof
17- establish the rock band that i always wanted so can perform GIGS!!!
18- go to batam and thailand for holiday with my mates
19- go challengers camp !! wohoo fun =)
20- to transform into SUPER MING! wooohoo... hehe..

omg this 20 things to do before the end of year... damn stressful haha and its like not done yet..

bad results =(

omfg cant believe i got only 5 marks for SA wtf.. i checked the paper again what i wrote .. well i dunnoe wad the fuck was i thinking when i was doing the paper.. even the simplest formula i write wrongly.. my lecturer is really pissed off at me for like scoring so low... got alot of work to do now to revise and all.. retest is comming so yea got to like prove that i can do it..

sometimes the greatest enemy we face in life. is yourself.
so ya should had done better and all..

anyway today was suppose to be a happy day for me i dunnoe why .. i just felt happy the entire day.. =) going to bbdc to enroll my bike license and renew my pdl.. after that go cannoe training..

i realized that i am in a kind of transformation lately . in alot of ways.. well.. i am now training my vocals now.. my voice is something that everyone wouldnt wanna hear.. so ya.. someday i prove those motherfuckers wrong.. i never dared to even sing because of the humiliation.. well it takes alot of my guts to really start singing confidently .. not also i training my vocals.. but also my fitness.. next week having nafa test so yea have been training alot recently.. omg gym training may sound like abit u noe boring or tiring.. but somehow i got the hang of it and i enjoy working out now =) hahaha.. it just motivates me to just work out more and more.. but of course after training will feel super shag and all and the day after my arms and legs will be aching all over haha..

well.. besides my vocal and fitness also have been into alot of things recently.. started listening alot of screamo and metal alot ! hahaha. but i kind of love the way they play the music.. very fast and nice ! =) on 12th july maybe might perform in school wif the band .. so yea.. i just love playing music la! getting high on music is like on of the cleanest way to get high ! and its damn shiok.. haha.. my neck still hurts since last Saturday.. with the heavy head swinging hahahha..

well i think things are going smoothly from now on so yea.. should keep it rolling and enjoy life =)

pump it up

hello !! its back to school yea... well yesterday started with a very early class and heard some bad news.. i fail my SA =( the hardest paper i took and i fell asleep in class accidentally lol.. anyway i was busy training up my body yesterday in the gym.. this time it felt so good to just work out more and more.. haha.. well.. after training went to kap eat macs and reached home abt 11 plus.. my internet kena jam!! hahahaha.. i was so fucking tired that i fell asleep.. the rain was awesome.. even i could feel the rain abit comming in i dun care.. but the wind was POWER! =)

woke up next morning which was this morning. dad send me to school.. had maths lecture.. everything was okay suddenly i got a strange call !! haha.. saying i had a appointment at some spa place.. i was abit blur cause i was like listening and copying notes.. somemore in morning hardly i get calls.. well i recognize the voice!! omg bozo trying to trick me.. NICE TRY! hahahah =) well kind of brighten up my day since it was so fucking boring in class.. after that went for break met wif shim and kel. after that went to class for project.. then had discussion and yea now in library playing dota! =)
adios amigos

rock for wayne

hello mates okay been a real long long time i last updated okay let me break it into days...

tuesday

remembered going out wif hakim to watch fantastic 4 =) haha was awesome and catch up alot of good old times !! so yea was great meeting him and all again..

wednesday

cannot remember do what but i remember going out to have supper wif chek wye and his frens at 3am?? hahah was fun ate at lau pa sat.. seafood!!! awesome food to eat.. oh yea i remember i went to school on wednesday for cannoe training... was fucking tired

thursday

this was a freaking long day.. went to played at the cage ( place to place soccer wif artificial grass) with hasshim and his cousin. was damn tiring.. after that went to chalet to meet them all.. din felt welcome.. well who gives a damn.. ate alittle but drank alot.. had good time chating with them all.. only 1 night? my parents fucking angry i never go home haha..slept for like 1hour at chalet

friday

woke up at 8am.. went home and mum was fucking angry.. dun care go sentosa to chill out.. was damn tired.. i feel asleep on the beach haha.. after that ate at hawker then went home .. got KNOCKED OUT!!

saturday

went to ROCK FOR WAYNE CONCERT!! was FUCKING AWESOME!! haha... inspired me alot so yea.. rock on !

OLD SKOOL!

Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go

They're forming in a straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop

They're piling in the back seat
They generate steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop.

Hey ho, let's go
Shoot'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go

They're forming in a straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop

They're piling in the back seat
They're generating steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop.

Hey ho, let's go
Shoot'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go

Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go

in the lost world

ohh okay i am back in school.. dunnoe how many days.. suppose to meet kelmon shim they all at 1pm well guess wad i came 1.30 pm and i am the first one to arrive.. wtf haha.. well i had a big argument at home before comming to school.. my parents trying too hard to control me.. the more they try the more i rebel.. thats me and u cant change it..my mum even said if she knew i was this bad she would had disown me long ago.. well i always felt that i was suppose to born living the hard way somehow.. because i need some hardship to really get my thinking straight.. i always go through hardship before getting it. Forever they always accuse me for doing things that i dint do.. when can they ever understand what i am going through. they will never listen and they don't care my thoughts.. parents are always right.. right my ass... they always assume everything is right.. come on la.. we are living in the world 2007 not 1807. where we have so little knowledge and little to do that u can know what is good or bad.. the modern world now is so complicated. they parents just dun get it what is evolution. which causes a big misunderstanding and remain stubborn oh yea cannot blame they are getting older so their brain must not be able to take it.. so yea when parents dun understand and dun wan to means a side of them is getting handicap when they cant accept the modern reality due to their old age.

my mom question me what is hell.. lol. i was like u are asking the obvious.. lucky i was kind enough not to say that hell IS HOME!! i was like trying to get out of hell just now in the morning.. i can no longer follow orders from them exactly man.. it feels so degrading.. i am gonna be an adult soon so yea i should practice making my own decision.. i complain to them why are u always monitoring every step i take.. even i go school during holiday go gym also must question me why ? cannot study ? wtf.. it fucking piss me off when u get in my way when its time to have break.. its term break of god's sake .. my dad expects me to study and refer my subjects .. wth..

enough of my house shit crap family talk.. cause we never really had a nice conference between b4.. its always about pain and trouble they want.. "oh this is good for your future" this line is getting old to use dude.. i know what future i want and i should live reality fighting for my destiny

last night a good time playing dota and ended up talking abt gals wif them hahaha.. its hilarious.. oh yea guys.. we dun need em.. they need us =)
rock on dudes!

40hours of sleep

hehe believe it or not i just woke up from 40 hours of sleep. my brain is almost dead now i can feel it.. even i woke up awhile i still fell asleep again.. well ever since sunday afternoon i came back home from soccer i have been sleeping until today. its such a torture to stay home.. one thing is that it is fucking boring and secondly i always get nag for the slightest reason they can ever find and make me mad. a few days ago i mention abt me getting fucked up because my dad just whack me with his belt infront of my mates.. its damn fucking shame la.. i dunnoe man .. he thinks all smokers are bad people and i should not mix around with them fuck it la.. 50% my friends are smokers. so yea face reality. its not like i join some gang or what. well he whacked me infront of my house till up my room.. luckily my bro was there to stop him .. i aready started shouting back at him.. and i just shut the fuck up to let him bark all he want. it just dont make sense whacking me for that reason.. i swear to god that if he ever does that agian.. i will tear the house down.. smash everything in my way.. u think u can just threaten me smashing my stuff and sending me to ns.. come on la i am 19 going to 20 anytime soon.. i am more capable than just being whacked like a small kid.. yur trying to awake the beast inside of me. and i swear that nobody wants to see that.

if i dun give a fuck i long ago would had ran away or killed myself . all i just asked is for my freedom.. and fucking hell i cant even work now.. even if i wanna slowly work things out they will never allow.. and i realise how much of a fucked up family i have.. even i get almost whatever i want that money can buy.. nothing can buy my freedom.. whats the point of getting everything u ever wanted and u cant used it.. always getting nagged getting fucked up getting back stab. if i had the money i would had moved out long ago.. i dun give a fuck what ever i left behind except myself.

even i know how much they love me.. too bad they are loving me but all they do is HURT HURT HURT!! i bet u a million bucks they will say doing this because they care.. my ass! if i had seen this picture long ago i would just shut the fuck up and pack up. all they care is about themself.. protecting their own self proudness and pride.. fuck it man.. and i don't have my own pride? my freedom?

this is a fuck up place a fucked up world and fuck up people with fuck up thinking that fucked the world. its driving my to insanity and if they ever dare to pull the trigger , i will just blow this world fucking world up.

problems after problems in my way.. yet still i must prevail to prove those motherfuckers wrong that i can stand on my own feet. don't think that being parents u can say all u wanna fucking say and in the end say u don't meant is OKAY !? fuck off.. so can i do the same ! always say i am big fucking show off? who is the REAL SHOW OFF? well too bad yur son isnt great enough to show off..
all i can say is very old skool thinking and childish way of handling things.. because the ming that u all once remember getting punished always is no longer the same him.. and its true that no matter what they can never accept what i have done or what..

sometimes its better not to try to care too much because in the end yur hurting yur own son. u call my lecturer all that and come to my school and everything.. where is the sense of my own responsibility? its such a shame my dad still does do that.. he thinks its like my pri or secondary school anytime can ask ask.. if u think its okay? what if i go to yur work place and check u around.. how would u feel? no privacy rite? just let me live my own fucking life even it takes me out of the house or whatever.. its living through hell of me now because there is nothing much i can do. instead of guiding me a happier life all u all do is hurting my feelings..

its all up to them how they wanna handle me.. if they hit the wrong spot of me thats it.. my house is HELL to me.. the longer i stay in it.. the more i get burn.. thats why i always get the fuck out even with no cash or reasons..

this is the most FUCKED UP post i ever have to type!

fuck it

this will be a short post because i feel so fucked up and i got fucked up so just SHUT THE FUCK UP

after sometime

after sometime i finally made up my mind.. its the 3rd nite here in russel house i overnite in a row lol.. having those heart to heart talks.. really made me feel so much better.. sometimes its not nice to say i do deserve better, but looking at the way things are.. i really do think that i deserve better.. lol.. believe it or not i brainwash myself for 2 nites of drinking with complete highness to really clear my mind . yea i should take a step back so i can see the bigger picture and look it from a different way of how things are... i never forgive myself for being so silly and dumb to actually waste my time.. there are so much more to look out for. my happiness has always been the people around me.. but people cant always be happy.. life is always about ups and downs.. going through these kind of stuff is just another lesson in life to learn. and i laugh at the past because of those silly and childish thinking, looking at it from a different way its just not worth the thought.

think that a picture is my life
everything that i do are the lines
so it becomes a picture
who is gonna paint my life?
thats the question that everyone will wanna know

tml going back home.. well i guess i am starting to miss home lol..

crazy night was it?

ohh my god... last night was the craziest night ever... i only drank like so little and yet i got sooo high... start whacking russel's electric gutiar and singing along with shim and rust.. its not that we are drunk, just that it feels good to just release everything out. it was awesome.. i bet everyone in the house thought we are drunk. haha. we were complaining the highness is dying out very fast.. damn it damn it.. yea i think everyone left us alone in the room upstairs.. which was good =) big bed in a air con.. we talked all the way after that.. i bet the others thought we knocked out. haha.. yeayea had our preliminary talk about stuffs .. so much for the 1.5 hour or 2.5 hours ?? we were in a emotional state break down last nite thats why alittle of highness trigger quite alot.. it was great anyway i was the last one to sleep anyway.. all the 3 of us on the bed talked till we sleep hehe..

a bloody dream that i din't expect to.. because its something that really bothers me.. i straight away woke up and bath.. everyone still dead? cant believe even those who dint drink also sleep like pigs ... stomach in a great pain i dunnoe why.. just bearing all my pain inside out.. oh yea i wont be home till thursday.. a great time to really just slow things down and just savour my time ..

what thing makes me think is significant?
that is my destiny

what hurts the most..

hello... been quite awhile since i last blog... hahah.. well recently have been to vocal training, played alot of soccer , finish my common test and ITS HOLIDAYS!!!! haha currently now i am in a movie marathon ... now its the 4th movie in a row... well currently showing step up .. watched it like a million times haha.. its a 24hr marathon btw lol.. cant believe i skipped my np strings.. today is the first day for advance beginner..

anyway have been training hard to sing this song " what hurts the most" its a damn nice song =) but its super high key!! omg haha.. kinda of cool learning to sing properly for once in my life haha.. also have been blasting hardcore rock songs into my brain.. hand of blood by bullet for my valentine ROCKS!! the guitar is super nice to play hehhee..

my parents are like saying that i focus too much on my music and i was like arguing la.. say i always waste time on music.. but come on la.. i only do music when i have nothing to do or feeling so fucked up... well manage to get it straight with them that they cant tell me what to do and i make my own decision.. i am aready 19 and they always have this thinking of me like a small boy .. must always tell me what to do and judge what is good or bad... come on....

btw i told them i having a camp in school till thursday .. so yea gonna be hell of a fucking holiday..most of the time notwait wait wait
hahah
go watch the movie la

summer is comming

hey... still slacking even paper is tml lol.. decided to go to school early tml to study.. well i must do well for my del.. the thing that i worry most is SA! wahha.. driving me nuts.. well i am aready like preparing to be in the holiday mood again.. and its good. hehe...

went to work just now.. as an exam invigilator.. cool huh? paid 30 bucks per paper.. haha.. well had to wear something that looks formal and abit or nerd? i had trouble dressing up just now in the morning lol.. try to look as nerd as possible.. after work i took bus back to school.. where i met russ and gang to study del.. oh yea i got news that this saturday i got soccer game wif indra's team... hehe a chance to put my skill to a test.. because its like a level lower than i have been playing.. sunday also got another game.. wad a busy weekend i can say.. also cant wait for vocal class this sunday.. i missed the pass 2 lessons because of common test.. how sad is that..
anyway studied awhile only and we decided to go town to have our dinner.. i have been eating REALLY ALOT!! these few days.. dunnoe why? maybe because stress? i dunnoe haha.. well had a great time hanging out wif them (rust,mich,shim,sop,beca,hs,cal,kai) well i laughed alot today.. =) but my chest still hurts.. since sunday until now its still pain.. when i breathe deeply or laugh or cough.. hope to recover soon cause i am gonna work out alot after common test.. want to train until the size of john cena hahaha.. hehe.. because YOU CANT SEE ME!!

adios mate.. update more after my test are all over! =)

what?

hey... my common test only left 2 more papers! this thursday and friday !! muahha.. well i am kind of aready slacking abit now.. left with DEL and SA ... i dunnoe why i think my life is going through alot of changes.. i know its happening yet i dunnoe what is it..

life is full of twist and turns
like forest gump always said
life is like a box of chocolate
ya never noe wad ya gonna get

this world of illusion somehow
makes me fill wif mixed emotions
i always wondered about things
that i imagine what if it happen
or i made the other choice

haha well i think having the time off to being a loner is good at times.. will reflect alot on myself and think..

pain!

hey. omg today is like one of the most painful day for me.. went to play soccer at bedok just now... lost 4-2 =( but i manage to at least pull 1 goal in hehehe.. i think i am very weak now.. i bang into this ang moh super big size and now my chest hurts like hell.. even i laugh also pain... then 2nd half i totally cannt play.. cause i injured my right foot.. because of that i cant walk now.. damn sad la =( my whole body in pain.. well it shows that i must TRAIN!! hahaha...

ming is gonna train back to his best agian and even better.. soon u will see the beast AGAIN!!! haha.. i miss my soccer days la.. i mean soccer is something i really would commit..but i din had my chance last year as i wasnt good enough.. now i just focusing on getting better.. maybe next year i try agian..

i am so happy yesterday actually went shopping wif my dad.. spend 210 bucks!! on TOPMAN!!wohoo.. i got alot of new stuffs now.. damn cool.. super happy. hehehe =) well wished i had like no limit to get what i want...

its been a long while since i met someone who has great interest in music.. and that really makes me happy cause now i have someone to really share abt my music passion.. i can go like days talking abt music.. and its just so nice to talk abt it. haha..

my test is tml and i studied just now.. think it was alrite =) what i can say now is that ITS FREAKING HOT !!! these days the weather killing me.. must on air con almost everynite then i can sleep..