i don't know why i had to sleep alot these few days. i wished i was like last time i can go on with a few days without sleep. maybe because of the stress is killing me. test comming and exams! omfg. and my this school of rock thing. band! anyway mark let me listen to this song yesterday and i find it damn nice. Your Guardian Angel by red jumpsuit apparatas .
sometimes its pretty irritating when i tried to strecth my vocal range and some people just like to make fun of it. my throat is fucking pain now because i aready like strain it and making fun of it is not gonna help. i got to sing more, but its just not happening because its being brought down with bad remarks. i don't even know if there is a slight improvement or not because its always the same three words "ming don't sing" being aready so stress up wif my fucking project and things are going worse because tml is the reharsal for zero to hero. our 2nd song isnt ready because the band can never be together to plan properly . if u don't realise i just hate it when people go in the jamming room where ever it is and just whack themsleves . i mean its like fucking noisy la.. the purpose is to play together wad. if play for awhile yur own its okay but all the way wasting time and not getting things done is fucking irritating.
if i had knew longer i would had join rex band to play guitar. because everyone there is aready that level so its more challanging to like improve. i mean the way i see it they are way more fucking serious about playing music. always just wanna improve and improve . not individual but as a band. recently i just asked hakim to handle whatever band i am in. cause its very stressful la to keep reminding all and decide what songs to play as a band. i just wanna perform in gigs someday. but haiz.. i just dun have this burning desire from my bandmates. there is always a fire inside me to just like fuck care everything and just play music. all that i ever wanted was a band that who rock together for life.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
dying
today was a really really strange werid day. i think maybe because i watch romeo and juilet suddenly. i dunnoe why the whole day the movie picture was in my mind. yea a boy and girl who barely knew each other for less than 24 hours get married and dead within 2 days. how tragic can life be. the reason why they fell in love at first sight is because of the same vision they had abt love. its truly amazing how such beautiful the way they speak. the starting part when romeo have no idea who is juilet. the way he express his thoughts and how much he wants to love even there is no one yet he knew. well the ending of the story line is really u noe.. i just cannot believe it la in the both died. i kind of like the old ways of how they speak english. very beautiful.
this entire whole day i got this song stuck in my head, seize the day. learn abt 1/3 of the guitar solo.. omg i dunnoe what has got into me.. i am soo obssesed with the movie and music. i always picture myself like how romeo is in the movie at the starting. always gazing throught the sky and express the thoughts and feelings how beautiful life can be rather than hate. with the cousin and mates protecting each other.
how much i so want to give all i got
yet i speak in silence
let there be stars in the sky
when the sun kisses the earth
what i kept within me
shall soon one day be share and set free
the one any only thee i seek my answer
end this meaningless life of mine
and so shall thee show me colours
with a reason to go on
who is this person that will change my life?
the question shall not be heard but answered with a heart.
i for long await the time to come
this friday is my i&e school of rock orientation and i planning everything myself.. wtf ! =( i farking stress.. suffer in slience. let there be light for me to clear my troubles.
this entire whole day i got this song stuck in my head, seize the day. learn abt 1/3 of the guitar solo.. omg i dunnoe what has got into me.. i am soo obssesed with the movie and music. i always picture myself like how romeo is in the movie at the starting. always gazing throught the sky and express the thoughts and feelings how beautiful life can be rather than hate. with the cousin and mates protecting each other.
how much i so want to give all i got
yet i speak in silence
let there be stars in the sky
when the sun kisses the earth
what i kept within me
shall soon one day be share and set free
the one any only thee i seek my answer
end this meaningless life of mine
and so shall thee show me colours
with a reason to go on
who is this person that will change my life?
the question shall not be heard but answered with a heart.
i for long await the time to come
this friday is my i&e school of rock orientation and i planning everything myself.. wtf ! =( i farking stress.. suffer in slience. let there be light for me to clear my troubles.
Friday, July 13, 2007
woot a long day
hello! =) i just reached home and its like 1.30 am now.. just came back from watching HARRY POTTER!! hahahah.. was okok la but after all it was awesome watching wif klemon , shim ,russ and sop. i kept laughing my ass off the whole day i dunnoe why until i feel my head starting to ach cause of too much laughing. i know guys how petty i can be but whats ming without being petty? hahaha .. okok WTF am i doing.
had a long long day.. was fucking stress the night before thining of what to songs to play in school to perform just now. after all the trouble searching a for a vocalist.. guess who we got to sing for us? haha we manage to get Norman from the singapore idol guy to sing for us.. well everything was last min and i think we did great but i knew the band could had done better but sowie due to the errors i made haha.. but after all a good experience in the school atrim. after everything ended i played this game and won a CAR? hahha a toy car.. and the box is pretty big and i was like carrying it around . people thinking wtf is wrong with this guy haha..
well i know how fucking sick it is trying to ACT gay but its fun =) haha.. i bet a million yen kai is enjoying it very much.. but i guess he has been doing it all by himself all his life so he shy haha.. i am being insane this few days being fucking lame. but it works to cheer up alot. espcially going through a roller coaster ride twice in a row.. thats scary. it all thanks to the bros who has been there for me or else i would had regret every step i made,i have nothing to lose but them, because its worth fighting for - harry potter
i'm so glad i realise after a fucking long period of time a day when i finally woke up, i got fix my fucking self. i am screwed and wasted. i wish i can just scream out whatever i left in me. it always does feel better screaming to words and thoughts out. no wonder people who i used to known just fade away, or i choose to fade away because i just dun wanna withness another disaster . back to square 1 where isnt a strange place to me.
what i really want?
after all these while chasing my wildest dream trying to be someone who i ever wanted, even getting everything i wanted doing all the things i love to do . exprience the best time of my life and in the making. my dream has always been that one girl i see in my dream who is just there but i dunnoe who. because having everything in life and getting things i ever wanted , at the end of the day it would be fucking sad if i had no one to share it with. i can never forget the scars i drew on myself to remind me that my heart hurts more then the skin tearing open bleeding. i dun see love is a game to play because its something special in life that everyone derserves. for the family, frens and the soul mate.
so what i really want?
haha.. if u were to asked me who is that girl i always dream about and thought. i can only describe how is she like. but not who. i think its a kind of a once in a billion kind of the people that i know then i will find that true someone. because it doesnt mean liking someone means its the one u been looking for. i dun look for someone who likes me . the gal i see was like an angel, who is the perfection that will complete my life. can be trusted,not selfish,not dumb,think for the best,sweet,funny,supportive,patience,cool attitude. having all these quality will bring out the more of me. every sweat every blood every tear every move every breath , there is a reason worth fighting for. even with the whole world agianst me she would still be there. in life its always worth everything when you have someone to share it with and care. thats how beautiful love the way i see it.
having someone to walk along this path in life, looking stars ,walking on the beach bare feet, traveling around the world and music flowing with emotions and feelings . spending my whole life just to love =) thats the power . well singapore the way i see it cannot go far to enjoy life haha.. i will really pity my kids under the strong pressure they are gonna face next time. so lets get the fuck out of here and move to california or australia. become surfers or something. whatever they enjoy doing best . to me life.. i believe in always being positive and happy! no matter how hard i fall or suck. i have my whole life to improve and be a better man.
i guess haven been seeing things far enough, so maybe i have lost my focus on what matters to me. to all my bros. life aint nothing without some brotherhood love . haha sounds wrong. but yea i swear i will invite u to me future wedding dudes. even its overseas, i pay every single cent to get yur ass to my wedding haha!! even it takes to climb up a mountain . for my wedding , i want ROCK MUSIC , i want a couple dance floor , GOOD DJ , oh yea of course GOOD FOOD! , ALL MY BROS , FAMILY , somewhere that is not hot , like on a highland like the one in american pie the wedding, my band to perform a song specailly for the bride. drive in a fucking cool sports car ( depends how rich i am hahahaha) of course my wife ( my guitar) must be there to party too. everyone having a good time . best location i can think of? at the COAST OF MELBOURNE! like the pic in my frenster haha.. that is so fucking awesome. kiss the bride with the beautiful sunset behind. i can picture that in my mind. acutally i rather not having the sports car if it is there, i would fly a plane instead! fucking awesome haha.. oh yea of course dun count me on your wedding bros! haha.. i gonna making things alittle bit more different? hahaha. come on man wif me around and kai wanna act the stiff master? haha .. omg too much american pie. okok wtf i think its like i am fucking trying to descride this dream i ever wanted. nono its my destiny .
break the code in life
fate is not a bad thing
it couldnt be fated until it happened
destiny is fate
thats where u break the myth of fate
and make it YOUR DESTINY !
everything can be achieve
as long u believe =)
i talk too much haha
maybe i miss the feeling how it really was to be
a level higher in life
so that i can have the clear view of the world
to let people see how beautiful
things are rather then looking down
at their dirt under their feets
all i wanna do is RRRRROOOOOCCCCK!!!!
WOOHOO!!
okay adios
nits its fucking 2.30am now .. 1 hour to do this post so fucking long.
give peace a chance
where is the love?
had a long long day.. was fucking stress the night before thining of what to songs to play in school to perform just now. after all the trouble searching a for a vocalist.. guess who we got to sing for us? haha we manage to get Norman from the singapore idol guy to sing for us.. well everything was last min and i think we did great but i knew the band could had done better but sowie due to the errors i made haha.. but after all a good experience in the school atrim. after everything ended i played this game and won a CAR? hahha a toy car.. and the box is pretty big and i was like carrying it around . people thinking wtf is wrong with this guy haha..
well i know how fucking sick it is trying to ACT gay but its fun =) haha.. i bet a million yen kai is enjoying it very much.. but i guess he has been doing it all by himself all his life so he shy haha.. i am being insane this few days being fucking lame. but it works to cheer up alot. espcially going through a roller coaster ride twice in a row.. thats scary. it all thanks to the bros who has been there for me or else i would had regret every step i made,i have nothing to lose but them, because its worth fighting for - harry potter
i'm so glad i realise after a fucking long period of time a day when i finally woke up, i got fix my fucking self. i am screwed and wasted. i wish i can just scream out whatever i left in me. it always does feel better screaming to words and thoughts out. no wonder people who i used to known just fade away, or i choose to fade away because i just dun wanna withness another disaster . back to square 1 where isnt a strange place to me.
what i really want?
after all these while chasing my wildest dream trying to be someone who i ever wanted, even getting everything i wanted doing all the things i love to do . exprience the best time of my life and in the making. my dream has always been that one girl i see in my dream who is just there but i dunnoe who. because having everything in life and getting things i ever wanted , at the end of the day it would be fucking sad if i had no one to share it with. i can never forget the scars i drew on myself to remind me that my heart hurts more then the skin tearing open bleeding. i dun see love is a game to play because its something special in life that everyone derserves. for the family, frens and the soul mate.
so what i really want?
haha.. if u were to asked me who is that girl i always dream about and thought. i can only describe how is she like. but not who. i think its a kind of a once in a billion kind of the people that i know then i will find that true someone. because it doesnt mean liking someone means its the one u been looking for. i dun look for someone who likes me . the gal i see was like an angel, who is the perfection that will complete my life. can be trusted,not selfish,not dumb,think for the best,sweet,funny,supportive,patience,cool attitude. having all these quality will bring out the more of me. every sweat every blood every tear every move every breath , there is a reason worth fighting for. even with the whole world agianst me she would still be there. in life its always worth everything when you have someone to share it with and care. thats how beautiful love the way i see it.
having someone to walk along this path in life, looking stars ,walking on the beach bare feet, traveling around the world and music flowing with emotions and feelings . spending my whole life just to love =) thats the power . well singapore the way i see it cannot go far to enjoy life haha.. i will really pity my kids under the strong pressure they are gonna face next time. so lets get the fuck out of here and move to california or australia. become surfers or something. whatever they enjoy doing best . to me life.. i believe in always being positive and happy! no matter how hard i fall or suck. i have my whole life to improve and be a better man.
i guess haven been seeing things far enough, so maybe i have lost my focus on what matters to me. to all my bros. life aint nothing without some brotherhood love . haha sounds wrong. but yea i swear i will invite u to me future wedding dudes. even its overseas, i pay every single cent to get yur ass to my wedding haha!! even it takes to climb up a mountain . for my wedding , i want ROCK MUSIC , i want a couple dance floor , GOOD DJ , oh yea of course GOOD FOOD! , ALL MY BROS , FAMILY , somewhere that is not hot , like on a highland like the one in american pie the wedding, my band to perform a song specailly for the bride. drive in a fucking cool sports car ( depends how rich i am hahahaha) of course my wife ( my guitar) must be there to party too. everyone having a good time . best location i can think of? at the COAST OF MELBOURNE! like the pic in my frenster haha.. that is so fucking awesome. kiss the bride with the beautiful sunset behind. i can picture that in my mind. acutally i rather not having the sports car if it is there, i would fly a plane instead! fucking awesome haha.. oh yea of course dun count me on your wedding bros! haha.. i gonna making things alittle bit more different? hahaha. come on man wif me around and kai wanna act the stiff master? haha .. omg too much american pie. okok wtf i think its like i am fucking trying to descride this dream i ever wanted. nono its my destiny .
break the code in life
fate is not a bad thing
it couldnt be fated until it happened
destiny is fate
thats where u break the myth of fate
and make it YOUR DESTINY !
everything can be achieve
as long u believe =)
i talk too much haha
maybe i miss the feeling how it really was to be
a level higher in life
so that i can have the clear view of the world
to let people see how beautiful
things are rather then looking down
at their dirt under their feets
all i wanna do is RRRRROOOOOCCCCK!!!!
WOOHOO!!
okay adios
nits its fucking 2.30am now .. 1 hour to do this post so fucking long.
give peace a chance
where is the love?
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
had enough
now its the time to end it all.. enough of the wild thoughts and hopes. its time to spend time with my brothers! =) i vow to remain a loyal gay for 1 week from now on. too bad but i just love my bro hos haha .. because they are the tears and joy of my life for the past few months. together we will rock hard!
its tiring heading to somewhere with no direction and no future. but i see our brotherhood have the future. i see us even after our NS . we will be mates for life.
BROS BEFORE HOES! hahaha
best song to suit my situation?
SCARS!
sorry i got to move on with my own life
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'caues you came around
Why don't just go home
'Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is
[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
[Chorus]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I tear my open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tear my heart open, sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
its tiring heading to somewhere with no direction and no future. but i see our brotherhood have the future. i see us even after our NS . we will be mates for life.
BROS BEFORE HOES! hahaha
best song to suit my situation?
SCARS!
sorry i got to move on with my own life
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'caues you came around
Why don't just go home
'Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is
[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
[Chorus]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I tear my open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tear my heart open, sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
back on track finally!
okay its been a long time i updated.. not really long but yea.. been busy and all.. and maybe lazy? my laptop is fucked up again =( my mon drop my laptop on the floor from the chair.. heard the loud sound BANG! and i was like oohhh shitt =( now my com is nuts.. sometime okay some time go crazy.. then i cannot see the screen.
anyway this week so far so good.. i realize that i am actually back on track on alot of things . my studies especially. my car and bike license too. tml my bike prac . and going to gym again ! hehe.. i think i am too skinny.. and weak.
oh ya this thursday also must perform in school so yea.. my must prepare the songs. and this saturday also. np strings. and next week session i got to do a solo!! wth.. haha.. i think i can do it if i practice la.. just now was at the guitar shop.. omg i really cannot tahan sia.. see all the guitars.. so yea i wanna train alot on guitar until the highest level.. but i am a slow learner i think . maybe i din have the proper guide to learn thats why.. all these why i pick up the skills from the net? haha.. maybe a few from frens.
no matter how busy i am in life.. i always have the time to chill and alone.. so yea its good =) so i dun have to always be stress.. oh yea i got the force vomit tickets aready!! woohoo ! hahaha.. think gonna catch a movie this weekend. but no plans yet. so yea anyone interested??
they approve the song we compose for zero to hero aready. so we can go full gear ahead with the song.. power!
anyway this week so far so good.. i realize that i am actually back on track on alot of things . my studies especially. my car and bike license too. tml my bike prac . and going to gym again ! hehe.. i think i am too skinny.. and weak.
oh ya this thursday also must perform in school so yea.. my must prepare the songs. and this saturday also. np strings. and next week session i got to do a solo!! wth.. haha.. i think i can do it if i practice la.. just now was at the guitar shop.. omg i really cannot tahan sia.. see all the guitars.. so yea i wanna train alot on guitar until the highest level.. but i am a slow learner i think . maybe i din have the proper guide to learn thats why.. all these why i pick up the skills from the net? haha.. maybe a few from frens.
no matter how busy i am in life.. i always have the time to chill and alone.. so yea its good =) so i dun have to always be stress.. oh yea i got the force vomit tickets aready!! woohoo ! hahaha.. think gonna catch a movie this weekend. but no plans yet. so yea anyone interested??
they approve the song we compose for zero to hero aready. so we can go full gear ahead with the song.. power!
Friday, July 06, 2007
awesome day
WOOT!!! finally a song!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg i love my band.. the song we just jam just now.. omfg.. it sounds freaking awesome seriously.. i hope that my vocals don't spoil the song.. now i got to modify the lyrics abit here and there..
finally the time has come.. ! my rockin world has been BORN!!
i wish i could just rock my whole life.. going all over the world.. with the crowd infront of me.. my band blasting our own music.. rocking their hearts out. to share the world with our music..
my guitar will always be my beloved wife haha.. i am nuts but it really really feels good to play music with yur own composition.. finally i can scream my lungs out to the world abt how i feel. the times like these, feeling hopeless , feeling i'm losing it,feeling alone, feeling down, feeling down, feeling jealous, feeling tired. its all gonna come to an end. because music is my drug my life.
i found my world of rock finally. i won't be alone because my band is rocking with me. and thats all i ask.. its enough to rock my freaking world upside down.. one day then my chance will come.. to seize the day.
ROCK ON BROS!!!!
finally the time has come.. ! my rockin world has been BORN!!
i wish i could just rock my whole life.. going all over the world.. with the crowd infront of me.. my band blasting our own music.. rocking their hearts out. to share the world with our music..
my guitar will always be my beloved wife haha.. i am nuts but it really really feels good to play music with yur own composition.. finally i can scream my lungs out to the world abt how i feel. the times like these, feeling hopeless , feeling i'm losing it,feeling alone, feeling down, feeling down, feeling jealous, feeling tired. its all gonna come to an end. because music is my drug my life.
i found my world of rock finally. i won't be alone because my band is rocking with me. and thats all i ask.. its enough to rock my freaking world upside down.. one day then my chance will come.. to seize the day.
ROCK ON BROS!!!!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
seize the day
today was quite a long day? well i went to school had normal lessons then was like everything is normal.think i am slightly more hard working now? but still need to push way more. coming to think of it, about my situation. i have quite alot of things in my mind and i need to do.
1-choose the 2nd song for zero to hero ( should be choosing tress by marty casey
2-settle russel bass
3-settle my debts that i owe.. oh yea oh yea bros before hoes
4-do my tutorials
5-making sure everything is okay for bozo
6-booking my car TP this friday
7-finding a time for my bike prac
8-preparing songs to jam this friday in my house.
9-prove the people wrong who don't have confidence in me singing
10-canoe training this saturday must go
i got to like list things out so i can catch my breath and move on. it has always been a hell of a roller coaster ride for me all these while.damn shagged now.. update more later =)
1-choose the 2nd song for zero to hero ( should be choosing tress by marty casey
2-settle russel bass
3-settle my debts that i owe.. oh yea oh yea bros before hoes
4-do my tutorials
5-making sure everything is okay for bozo
6-booking my car TP this friday
7-finding a time for my bike prac
8-preparing songs to jam this friday in my house.
9-prove the people wrong who don't have confidence in me singing
10-canoe training this saturday must go
i got to like list things out so i can catch my breath and move on. it has always been a hell of a roller coaster ride for me all these while.damn shagged now.. update more later =)
Monday, July 02, 2007
don't cry
it felt empty today and it has been going through my mind alot of times wondering whats wrong and gonna happen. i spent most of my time jiwang in school today .. lol.. especially with firdaus he and his malay jiawang songs.. making me feel more emo.. we just sat at the atrim while waiting for shim haha.. mark called my hp just to mention that he is just only 6 meters away! wtf haha.. its like u noe.. haiz... after school went home to pass them my towel and shirt. then went of for np strings. the best time to jiwang and play guitar. got alot to catch up duo haha.. long time never play so damn rusty. tml is my IS day so yea its gonna be a farking short day. and having my bike practical in the morning .. =)and jamming practice in the evening.. and then go WATCH TRANSFORMERS!! WOOHOO!!!! =)
today i missed percival gl outing farking sad =(
also din get to train at the gym
all i noe ... fir yur rite.. jiwang the best hahaha
today i missed percival gl outing farking sad =(
also din get to train at the gym
all i noe ... fir yur rite.. jiwang the best hahaha
Sunday, July 01, 2007
sore
hello... omg i kinda of slept the whole day!!! when i reached home from vocals i straight away knocked out and slept for like 6 hours!!! haha..woke up and ate my dinner.. finally! =) well today seems to pass by so fast i dunnoe why.. it felt weird .tml school starts at 8. i wanna watch transformers =( but all busy
shoped
i finally changed my pick up!! wohoo.. dimarzio pick ups!! each cost $120 .. but its times 3.. so its $360 !!! hahahaha.. but its awesome la.. my guitar now AKA my wife is WOHOO!! hahaha.. power to the core! ... can rock anytime anywhere... anyway the whole day was in town.. walking up and down the streets or roads of bugis.. ate ZAM ZAM wohooo power! =) eat until shiok.. then go esplanade chill out.. ate ice cream .. green tea is nice okay!! haha.. don't blame.. my taste buds said so! =)
anyway.. life is getting back to normal..
the thoughts i kept in my way.. worrying...
sometimes i feel that i should had done more
but i guess that luck has never been on my side
unlucky choices and always am a jinx to such stuffs
explains my 2 years of single hood..
what fir said is true .. JIWANG THE BEST hahaha.. means emo the best.. always emo emo emo elmo haha.. it makes us realize what life is sometimes.. thats why ..
anyway.. life is getting back to normal..
the thoughts i kept in my way.. worrying...
sometimes i feel that i should had done more
but i guess that luck has never been on my side
unlucky choices and always am a jinx to such stuffs
explains my 2 years of single hood..
what fir said is true .. JIWANG THE BEST hahaha.. means emo the best.. always emo emo emo elmo haha.. it makes us realize what life is sometimes.. thats why ..
Friday, June 29, 2007
bless troubles
heeelllooo.. i just went to check out bryan adams video on youtube.. he is so damn bloodly good la!! check this out he sing wif celine dion
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QkAYSUjtLbs&mode=related&search=
this is like WAHAHHAHAHA!! i wished i had a wife that could that with me on our wedding someday..
anyway.. i would like to say something that i should had a long time.. for these past few months.. my life has always been ups and downs.. i really really wanna thank those who had been there for me... even when i was outcast and when i just simply wanna emo alone .. i couldnt imagine what could i possible done without u guys.. i know i have been like sissy boy who always emo and feel down when things don't work out.. and hearing all my repeated thoughts.. you know who you are if u had =) you guys were awesome.. seriously.. even when i was out of hopes and wanted to give up.. yet you all encouraged me to go on and fight till the end.. no wonder i always enjoyed chilling out with you guys.
i just wanna say thank you guys! =) ( shim,klemon,mark,russ,cy)
well abt my mission? its comming to an end.. i dunnoe whether to say its a bad or good news.. before it ends i must use my last bullet... or else i will just shot myself.. so don't tell me its not worth trying for even when i am left with 1 bullet and a broken heart.
scars reminds us of who we are and what we went through in life. the blood shed shall not be forgotten. so that we will know what to look ahead in life =)
i always wanted to write a song about my emo thoughts
so yea the title is gonna be "Broken dreams"
i am into alot of screamo and hard trash this few days.. it has made me kind of wanna train more and more energy..
just jammed just now wif mark and chek wye.. haha.. its like a pain relief for me screaming my heart out.. singing what hurts the most screamo version haha.. still deciding wad 2nd song for our competition..
rock for life brothers!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QkAYSUjtLbs&mode=related&search=
this is like WAHAHHAHAHA!! i wished i had a wife that could that with me on our wedding someday..
anyway.. i would like to say something that i should had a long time.. for these past few months.. my life has always been ups and downs.. i really really wanna thank those who had been there for me... even when i was outcast and when i just simply wanna emo alone .. i couldnt imagine what could i possible done without u guys.. i know i have been like sissy boy who always emo and feel down when things don't work out.. and hearing all my repeated thoughts.. you know who you are if u had =) you guys were awesome.. seriously.. even when i was out of hopes and wanted to give up.. yet you all encouraged me to go on and fight till the end.. no wonder i always enjoyed chilling out with you guys.
i just wanna say thank you guys! =) ( shim,klemon,mark,russ,cy)
well abt my mission? its comming to an end.. i dunnoe whether to say its a bad or good news.. before it ends i must use my last bullet... or else i will just shot myself.. so don't tell me its not worth trying for even when i am left with 1 bullet and a broken heart.
scars reminds us of who we are and what we went through in life. the blood shed shall not be forgotten. so that we will know what to look ahead in life =)
i always wanted to write a song about my emo thoughts
so yea the title is gonna be "Broken dreams"
i am into alot of screamo and hard trash this few days.. it has made me kind of wanna train more and more energy..
just jammed just now wif mark and chek wye.. haha.. its like a pain relief for me screaming my heart out.. singing what hurts the most screamo version haha.. still deciding wad 2nd song for our competition..
rock for life brothers!
hold on
omg i never ever thought i would be like this again.. okok remember what my mission is.. check cover . check blind spot.. coast clear.. then GO!! no matter what intelligence or distraction never fail that mission! thank god i understand Chinese so it does help me with my mission.. i have only 1 bullet left in my rifle.. who should i shoot?
this mission isnt an easy one.. so its more victorious if the battle is won. make sure no last man standing and i go conquer and capture ! with dirt on my hands and into my eyes.. i glared at the enemy for a long time .. the hostage is kept somewhere in the basement .. i need a plan... i only have 1 bullet..
the world needs help!
this mission isnt an easy one.. so its more victorious if the battle is won. make sure no last man standing and i go conquer and capture ! with dirt on my hands and into my eyes.. i glared at the enemy for a long time .. the hostage is kept somewhere in the basement .. i need a plan... i only have 1 bullet..
the world needs help!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
tired !
now in class doing nothing much but just to day dream.. slept late last night.. so i had abit trouble getting up due to my body aching all over.. because of training.. omg it hurts like hell and i cant move much now.. today actually nothing much to do in school.. can sleep and all haha.. only came school to actually do my SA remedial .
enrolled my bike license yesterday so yea.. soon enough gonna star riding =) no worries abt transport and being lazy and all ..
well i got to say life is much better than i expected somehow.. been going to the gym quite alot to work out and all.. being happy and carefree but well i always worried abt my studies.. i think i need to actually plan out my schedule so life wont be so messy.. if i count the things i need to do until the end of year.. hrmm let me list
1- save money for my guitar pick up EMG!!
2- finish my bike license
3- finish my car license
4- get to go singfest wif a7x mxpx and all!! =)
5- go baybeats catch chris band
6- study like hell to push my grades
7- train for canoe expedition comming soon
8- practice for np strings solo songs
9- to win zero to hero band competition
10- make my own album of music
11- get a girlfriend so i can stop worrying so much
12- form a soccer team to play soccer weekly
13- get my own bike
14- plan my financial solutions
15- to start working again somehow ! so i can go shopping!
16- to upgrade my house jam room.. need bigger amps! more cymbals.. at least 80% sound proof
17- establish the rock band that i always wanted so can perform GIGS!!!
18- go to batam and thailand for holiday with my mates
19- go challengers camp !! wohoo fun =)
20- to transform into SUPER MING! wooohoo... hehe..
omg this 20 things to do before the end of year... damn stressful haha and its like not done yet..
enrolled my bike license yesterday so yea.. soon enough gonna star riding =) no worries abt transport and being lazy and all ..
well i got to say life is much better than i expected somehow.. been going to the gym quite alot to work out and all.. being happy and carefree but well i always worried abt my studies.. i think i need to actually plan out my schedule so life wont be so messy.. if i count the things i need to do until the end of year.. hrmm let me list
1- save money for my guitar pick up EMG!!
2- finish my bike license
3- finish my car license
4- get to go singfest wif a7x mxpx and all!! =)
5- go baybeats catch chris band
6- study like hell to push my grades
7- train for canoe expedition comming soon
8- practice for np strings solo songs
9- to win zero to hero band competition
10- make my own album of music
11- get a girlfriend so i can stop worrying so much
12- form a soccer team to play soccer weekly
13- get my own bike
14- plan my financial solutions
15- to start working again somehow ! so i can go shopping!
16- to upgrade my house jam room.. need bigger amps! more cymbals.. at least 80% sound proof
17- establish the rock band that i always wanted so can perform GIGS!!!
18- go to batam and thailand for holiday with my mates
19- go challengers camp !! wohoo fun =)
20- to transform into SUPER MING! wooohoo... hehe..
omg this 20 things to do before the end of year... damn stressful haha and its like not done yet..
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
bad results =(
omfg cant believe i got only 5 marks for SA wtf.. i checked the paper again what i wrote .. well i dunnoe wad the fuck was i thinking when i was doing the paper.. even the simplest formula i write wrongly.. my lecturer is really pissed off at me for like scoring so low... got alot of work to do now to revise and all.. retest is comming so yea got to like prove that i can do it..
sometimes the greatest enemy we face in life. is yourself.
so ya should had done better and all..
anyway today was suppose to be a happy day for me i dunnoe why .. i just felt happy the entire day.. =) going to bbdc to enroll my bike license and renew my pdl.. after that go cannoe training..
i realized that i am in a kind of transformation lately . in alot of ways.. well.. i am now training my vocals now.. my voice is something that everyone wouldnt wanna hear.. so ya.. someday i prove those motherfuckers wrong.. i never dared to even sing because of the humiliation.. well it takes alot of my guts to really start singing confidently .. not also i training my vocals.. but also my fitness.. next week having nafa test so yea have been training alot recently.. omg gym training may sound like abit u noe boring or tiring.. but somehow i got the hang of it and i enjoy working out now =) hahaha.. it just motivates me to just work out more and more.. but of course after training will feel super shag and all and the day after my arms and legs will be aching all over haha..
well.. besides my vocal and fitness also have been into alot of things recently.. started listening alot of screamo and metal alot ! hahaha. but i kind of love the way they play the music.. very fast and nice ! =) on 12th july maybe might perform in school wif the band .. so yea.. i just love playing music la! getting high on music is like on of the cleanest way to get high ! and its damn shiok.. haha.. my neck still hurts since last Saturday.. with the heavy head swinging hahahha..
well i think things are going smoothly from now on so yea.. should keep it rolling and enjoy life =)
sometimes the greatest enemy we face in life. is yourself.
so ya should had done better and all..
anyway today was suppose to be a happy day for me i dunnoe why .. i just felt happy the entire day.. =) going to bbdc to enroll my bike license and renew my pdl.. after that go cannoe training..
i realized that i am in a kind of transformation lately . in alot of ways.. well.. i am now training my vocals now.. my voice is something that everyone wouldnt wanna hear.. so ya.. someday i prove those motherfuckers wrong.. i never dared to even sing because of the humiliation.. well it takes alot of my guts to really start singing confidently .. not also i training my vocals.. but also my fitness.. next week having nafa test so yea have been training alot recently.. omg gym training may sound like abit u noe boring or tiring.. but somehow i got the hang of it and i enjoy working out now =) hahaha.. it just motivates me to just work out more and more.. but of course after training will feel super shag and all and the day after my arms and legs will be aching all over haha..
well.. besides my vocal and fitness also have been into alot of things recently.. started listening alot of screamo and metal alot ! hahaha. but i kind of love the way they play the music.. very fast and nice ! =) on 12th july maybe might perform in school wif the band .. so yea.. i just love playing music la! getting high on music is like on of the cleanest way to get high ! and its damn shiok.. haha.. my neck still hurts since last Saturday.. with the heavy head swinging hahahha..
well i think things are going smoothly from now on so yea.. should keep it rolling and enjoy life =)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
pump it up
hello !! its back to school yea... well yesterday started with a very early class and heard some bad news.. i fail my SA =( the hardest paper i took and i fell asleep in class accidentally lol.. anyway i was busy training up my body yesterday in the gym.. this time it felt so good to just work out more and more.. haha.. well.. after training went to kap eat macs and reached home abt 11 plus.. my internet kena jam!! hahahaha.. i was so fucking tired that i fell asleep.. the rain was awesome.. even i could feel the rain abit comming in i dun care.. but the wind was POWER! =)
woke up next morning which was this morning. dad send me to school.. had maths lecture.. everything was okay suddenly i got a strange call !! haha.. saying i had a appointment at some spa place.. i was abit blur cause i was like listening and copying notes.. somemore in morning hardly i get calls.. well i recognize the voice!! omg bozo trying to trick me.. NICE TRY! hahahah =) well kind of brighten up my day since it was so fucking boring in class.. after that went for break met wif shim and kel. after that went to class for project.. then had discussion and yea now in library playing dota! =)
adios amigos
woke up next morning which was this morning. dad send me to school.. had maths lecture.. everything was okay suddenly i got a strange call !! haha.. saying i had a appointment at some spa place.. i was abit blur cause i was like listening and copying notes.. somemore in morning hardly i get calls.. well i recognize the voice!! omg bozo trying to trick me.. NICE TRY! hahahah =) well kind of brighten up my day since it was so fucking boring in class.. after that went for break met wif shim and kel. after that went to class for project.. then had discussion and yea now in library playing dota! =)
adios amigos
Sunday, June 24, 2007
rock for wayne
hello mates okay been a real long long time i last updated okay let me break it into days...
tuesday
remembered going out wif hakim to watch fantastic 4 =) haha was awesome and catch up alot of good old times !! so yea was great meeting him and all again..
wednesday
cannot remember do what but i remember going out to have supper wif chek wye and his frens at 3am?? hahah was fun ate at lau pa sat.. seafood!!! awesome food to eat.. oh yea i remember i went to school on wednesday for cannoe training... was fucking tired
thursday
this was a freaking long day.. went to played at the cage ( place to place soccer wif artificial grass) with hasshim and his cousin. was damn tiring.. after that went to chalet to meet them all.. din felt welcome.. well who gives a damn.. ate alittle but drank alot.. had good time chating with them all.. only 1 night? my parents fucking angry i never go home haha..slept for like 1hour at chalet
friday
woke up at 8am.. went home and mum was fucking angry.. dun care go sentosa to chill out.. was damn tired.. i feel asleep on the beach haha.. after that ate at hawker then went home .. got KNOCKED OUT!!
saturday
went to ROCK FOR WAYNE CONCERT!! was FUCKING AWESOME!! haha... inspired me alot so yea.. rock on !
tuesday
remembered going out wif hakim to watch fantastic 4 =) haha was awesome and catch up alot of good old times !! so yea was great meeting him and all again..
wednesday
cannot remember do what but i remember going out to have supper wif chek wye and his frens at 3am?? hahah was fun ate at lau pa sat.. seafood!!! awesome food to eat.. oh yea i remember i went to school on wednesday for cannoe training... was fucking tired
thursday
this was a freaking long day.. went to played at the cage ( place to place soccer wif artificial grass) with hasshim and his cousin. was damn tiring.. after that went to chalet to meet them all.. din felt welcome.. well who gives a damn.. ate alittle but drank alot.. had good time chating with them all.. only 1 night? my parents fucking angry i never go home haha..slept for like 1hour at chalet
friday
woke up at 8am.. went home and mum was fucking angry.. dun care go sentosa to chill out.. was damn tired.. i feel asleep on the beach haha.. after that ate at hawker then went home .. got KNOCKED OUT!!
saturday
went to ROCK FOR WAYNE CONCERT!! was FUCKING AWESOME!! haha... inspired me alot so yea.. rock on !
Thursday, June 21, 2007
OLD SKOOL!
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
They're forming in a straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop
They're piling in the back seat
They generate steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop.
Hey ho, let's go
Shoot'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go
They're forming in a straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop
They're piling in the back seat
They're generating steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop.
Hey ho, let's go
Shoot'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
They're forming in a straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop
They're piling in the back seat
They generate steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop.
Hey ho, let's go
Shoot'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go
They're forming in a straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop
They're piling in the back seat
They're generating steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop.
Hey ho, let's go
Shoot'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
Hey ho, let's go Hey ho, let's go
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
in the lost world
ohh okay i am back in school.. dunnoe how many days.. suppose to meet kelmon shim they all at 1pm well guess wad i came 1.30 pm and i am the first one to arrive.. wtf haha.. well i had a big argument at home before comming to school.. my parents trying too hard to control me.. the more they try the more i rebel.. thats me and u cant change it..my mum even said if she knew i was this bad she would had disown me long ago.. well i always felt that i was suppose to born living the hard way somehow.. because i need some hardship to really get my thinking straight.. i always go through hardship before getting it. Forever they always accuse me for doing things that i dint do.. when can they ever understand what i am going through. they will never listen and they don't care my thoughts.. parents are always right.. right my ass... they always assume everything is right.. come on la.. we are living in the world 2007 not 1807. where we have so little knowledge and little to do that u can know what is good or bad.. the modern world now is so complicated. they parents just dun get it what is evolution. which causes a big misunderstanding and remain stubborn oh yea cannot blame they are getting older so their brain must not be able to take it.. so yea when parents dun understand and dun wan to means a side of them is getting handicap when they cant accept the modern reality due to their old age.
my mom question me what is hell.. lol. i was like u are asking the obvious.. lucky i was kind enough not to say that hell IS HOME!! i was like trying to get out of hell just now in the morning.. i can no longer follow orders from them exactly man.. it feels so degrading.. i am gonna be an adult soon so yea i should practice making my own decision.. i complain to them why are u always monitoring every step i take.. even i go school during holiday go gym also must question me why ? cannot study ? wtf.. it fucking piss me off when u get in my way when its time to have break.. its term break of god's sake .. my dad expects me to study and refer my subjects .. wth..
enough of my house shit crap family talk.. cause we never really had a nice conference between b4.. its always about pain and trouble they want.. "oh this is good for your future" this line is getting old to use dude.. i know what future i want and i should live reality fighting for my destiny
last night a good time playing dota and ended up talking abt gals wif them hahaha.. its hilarious.. oh yea guys.. we dun need em.. they need us =)
rock on dudes!
my mom question me what is hell.. lol. i was like u are asking the obvious.. lucky i was kind enough not to say that hell IS HOME!! i was like trying to get out of hell just now in the morning.. i can no longer follow orders from them exactly man.. it feels so degrading.. i am gonna be an adult soon so yea i should practice making my own decision.. i complain to them why are u always monitoring every step i take.. even i go school during holiday go gym also must question me why ? cannot study ? wtf.. it fucking piss me off when u get in my way when its time to have break.. its term break of god's sake .. my dad expects me to study and refer my subjects .. wth..
enough of my house shit crap family talk.. cause we never really had a nice conference between b4.. its always about pain and trouble they want.. "oh this is good for your future" this line is getting old to use dude.. i know what future i want and i should live reality fighting for my destiny
last night a good time playing dota and ended up talking abt gals wif them hahaha.. its hilarious.. oh yea guys.. we dun need em.. they need us =)
rock on dudes!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
40hours of sleep
hehe believe it or not i just woke up from 40 hours of sleep. my brain is almost dead now i can feel it.. even i woke up awhile i still fell asleep again.. well ever since sunday afternoon i came back home from soccer i have been sleeping until today. its such a torture to stay home.. one thing is that it is fucking boring and secondly i always get nag for the slightest reason they can ever find and make me mad. a few days ago i mention abt me getting fucked up because my dad just whack me with his belt infront of my mates.. its damn fucking shame la.. i dunnoe man .. he thinks all smokers are bad people and i should not mix around with them fuck it la.. 50% my friends are smokers. so yea face reality. its not like i join some gang or what. well he whacked me infront of my house till up my room.. luckily my bro was there to stop him .. i aready started shouting back at him.. and i just shut the fuck up to let him bark all he want. it just dont make sense whacking me for that reason.. i swear to god that if he ever does that agian.. i will tear the house down.. smash everything in my way.. u think u can just threaten me smashing my stuff and sending me to ns.. come on la i am 19 going to 20 anytime soon.. i am more capable than just being whacked like a small kid.. yur trying to awake the beast inside of me. and i swear that nobody wants to see that.
if i dun give a fuck i long ago would had ran away or killed myself . all i just asked is for my freedom.. and fucking hell i cant even work now.. even if i wanna slowly work things out they will never allow.. and i realise how much of a fucked up family i have.. even i get almost whatever i want that money can buy.. nothing can buy my freedom.. whats the point of getting everything u ever wanted and u cant used it.. always getting nagged getting fucked up getting back stab. if i had the money i would had moved out long ago.. i dun give a fuck what ever i left behind except myself.
even i know how much they love me.. too bad they are loving me but all they do is HURT HURT HURT!! i bet u a million bucks they will say doing this because they care.. my ass! if i had seen this picture long ago i would just shut the fuck up and pack up. all they care is about themself.. protecting their own self proudness and pride.. fuck it man.. and i don't have my own pride? my freedom?
this is a fuck up place a fucked up world and fuck up people with fuck up thinking that fucked the world. its driving my to insanity and if they ever dare to pull the trigger , i will just blow this world fucking world up.
problems after problems in my way.. yet still i must prevail to prove those motherfuckers wrong that i can stand on my own feet. don't think that being parents u can say all u wanna fucking say and in the end say u don't meant is OKAY !? fuck off.. so can i do the same ! always say i am big fucking show off? who is the REAL SHOW OFF? well too bad yur son isnt great enough to show off..
all i can say is very old skool thinking and childish way of handling things.. because the ming that u all once remember getting punished always is no longer the same him.. and its true that no matter what they can never accept what i have done or what..
sometimes its better not to try to care too much because in the end yur hurting yur own son. u call my lecturer all that and come to my school and everything.. where is the sense of my own responsibility? its such a shame my dad still does do that.. he thinks its like my pri or secondary school anytime can ask ask.. if u think its okay? what if i go to yur work place and check u around.. how would u feel? no privacy rite? just let me live my own fucking life even it takes me out of the house or whatever.. its living through hell of me now because there is nothing much i can do. instead of guiding me a happier life all u all do is hurting my feelings..
its all up to them how they wanna handle me.. if they hit the wrong spot of me thats it.. my house is HELL to me.. the longer i stay in it.. the more i get burn.. thats why i always get the fuck out even with no cash or reasons..
this is the most FUCKED UP post i ever have to type!
if i dun give a fuck i long ago would had ran away or killed myself . all i just asked is for my freedom.. and fucking hell i cant even work now.. even if i wanna slowly work things out they will never allow.. and i realise how much of a fucked up family i have.. even i get almost whatever i want that money can buy.. nothing can buy my freedom.. whats the point of getting everything u ever wanted and u cant used it.. always getting nagged getting fucked up getting back stab. if i had the money i would had moved out long ago.. i dun give a fuck what ever i left behind except myself.
even i know how much they love me.. too bad they are loving me but all they do is HURT HURT HURT!! i bet u a million bucks they will say doing this because they care.. my ass! if i had seen this picture long ago i would just shut the fuck up and pack up. all they care is about themself.. protecting their own self proudness and pride.. fuck it man.. and i don't have my own pride? my freedom?
this is a fuck up place a fucked up world and fuck up people with fuck up thinking that fucked the world. its driving my to insanity and if they ever dare to pull the trigger , i will just blow this world fucking world up.
problems after problems in my way.. yet still i must prevail to prove those motherfuckers wrong that i can stand on my own feet. don't think that being parents u can say all u wanna fucking say and in the end say u don't meant is OKAY !? fuck off.. so can i do the same ! always say i am big fucking show off? who is the REAL SHOW OFF? well too bad yur son isnt great enough to show off..
all i can say is very old skool thinking and childish way of handling things.. because the ming that u all once remember getting punished always is no longer the same him.. and its true that no matter what they can never accept what i have done or what..
sometimes its better not to try to care too much because in the end yur hurting yur own son. u call my lecturer all that and come to my school and everything.. where is the sense of my own responsibility? its such a shame my dad still does do that.. he thinks its like my pri or secondary school anytime can ask ask.. if u think its okay? what if i go to yur work place and check u around.. how would u feel? no privacy rite? just let me live my own fucking life even it takes me out of the house or whatever.. its living through hell of me now because there is nothing much i can do. instead of guiding me a happier life all u all do is hurting my feelings..
its all up to them how they wanna handle me.. if they hit the wrong spot of me thats it.. my house is HELL to me.. the longer i stay in it.. the more i get burn.. thats why i always get the fuck out even with no cash or reasons..
this is the most FUCKED UP post i ever have to type!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
fuck it
this will be a short post because i feel so fucked up and i got fucked up so just SHUT THE FUCK UP
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