suck

hello mates.. today i wasnt feeling good at all at the end of the day... i was injured and feeling a abit uneasy... maybe i shouldnt had thought of this so much.. somethings i regreted doing and somethings i did was lucky.. there will always a point of time where i can really go nuts in many ways.. but doing that sometimes makes me feel really free and happy.. and ya.. ppl might think i take this life as a joke..

i don't know how ppl think of me .. its real scary..
one of the reason is maybe because i dun really care wad ppl says abt me and i just go ahead.. sometimes i do get affected and sometimes i dun
if u think i am happy going on this way.. well maybe yur rite..
i am not sure wad the future brings me in..
all the greatest things i ever thought are illusion
can i make it reality?
wad makes me think that its gonna make me happy?
i realise happiness is very important to me..

haiz.. i always get misunderstood.. even the place where i work.. ppl still talks abt me.. which i dunnoe.. i mean like.. how i wish i could just see all of this.. and just correct my mistakes.. i been trying so hard to become someone better.. everytime i felt like i did.. i think it has made me too proud sometimes.. or maybe always..

this is life.. full of everything.. i can feel like i am gonna die..until some miracle saves me.. all i wanna do is music now .. i cant stand all this stress kept in my head.. how i wish i had my own fender and own marshall amps.. training vocals really hard.. thats why i am like losing my voice these days..

i will get my answers sooner or later.. but i always thought of the worst.. and it happens 90% of my life.. i dunnoe if i am really dumb or just that i am not born to do it.. i always dream that i could be like tom delonge someday.. can play the guitar and sing.. not may be the best .. but i just love his style..

all i can do is dream dream dream.. when can i ever take this step ahead of life..
life is all about making choices..
tonight i will just think all night..
have i really started my life?

i am going nuts..