suck this

today i have something that i kept low abt it since i was young... like they always say blood is always thicker than water.. but come to think about it.. for example like my cousins.. even they are younger than me.. they do push me around like i am underneath their fingers.. i was sorry for all the things i done that i might did them last time like pushing them around? i dunnoe.. but it just hurts me deeply.. i was really super ultra naughty when i was young.. so maybe they still had that image on me.. but its like too painful to live it this way.. just now had a small incident when i lost my band? the soccer id band.. i mean like its so obvious i put it on the table where i usually put wif my other bands.. and my cousin lost his.. early in the morning.. and just now he told me that he found it in his bag and i lost mine.. ever since i din wish to be treated as how i was, i tried my best to be a better person.. but than its just that its hurting la.. even playing soccer.. i know i might abit to the exterme.. but the way they talk to me isnt encouraging.. unlike when i play wif my frens? because when i play wif my other frens.. its like everything is so smooth and mistake is part of our game.. its just not nice to being humilate by my cousin thats all i can say.. trying to start a new life in poly. i wish i could just leave all this behind me and just work on towards a brighter start. respect is something that i so far never had among my cousins.. its not that i demand it.. but just that seeing others having a better way of communicating in a more brotherhood manner.. its just painful la.. but one thing i am sure is that i surely cant play soccer well wif my cousins.. its just something which is impossible since young.. trying for years.. because today we had this futsal match in the morning.. i was really hungry for glory so that we can qualify.. even we draw 0-0 i wasnt happy at all .

dont know if this is just some stupid thoughts i had or is it something i just cant keep low abt it.. anyway... i just really had when ppl enter my room and leave it a mess. cause its aready messy and they make it worse.. lol.. i just clean up a little just now.. cause i find it messy la. cant take it also and my mother also has been nagging abt my room.. skool starts in a week time.. oh man..

oh yea tuesday is NAGA OUTING!!! WOWHOOOO!!! haha.. going orchard once more.. but the sad thing is that i am broke and in dept.. i starting to feel really pain how money just go away like that.. and to earn it its really difficult..

my life has been quite messy recently.. my music my soccer my studies.. this 3 i must plan it out properly as soon as i get my full time table.. i dun quite under the time table i have now .. so yea 1st week of skool i shall see abt it first.. join some cca like soccer and yea.. think i will spend 80% of my time in skool when skool starts.. lol. i think so..

hrmm.. oh yea.. last 2 days i went sentosa wif the sports camp ppl.. yea had some fun but wasnt to the fullest la.. but had a good time.. and oh yea i pang sei 2 of my frens that day.. one is the 06A02 badminton outing at clementi and Kris playing street soccer.. i felt so bad la.. thats why i couldnt like really smile the entire day wif the sports camp ppl.. oh yea we went orchard after sentosa and yea i met hakim at his work place.. listening to some cds they have there and got intro to hakim frens working there who offer me polka =) so nice.. was wif chao wei the entire day and we took cab home together.. qing juan is so funny la.. he looks like a gamer.. cause he has that face.. that my sec skool zhi wei has ahhaha.. so yea.. just fun ppl la.. we joke in the bus and laugh till my stomach cramps hahaha..

nazrul called me at nite to confirm for ther soccer tornement the next day but i seriously cannot la.. cause my brother also sign my up for another competition.. than nazrul was like WADeVER la.. i felt like such a @#@ person.. and thats what happen to kris also.. i felt so down because of this.. and we are going to have our finals at nike futsal.. haiz... well i guess its really hard to balance the people u wanan go wif next time... now i have like 5 groups of people who i can choose to hang out wif.. so yea. .its hard la sometimes.. staying at home is the best la.. ahhaha.. :D fair play

i been lazy to blog the past few days because i been busy and my cousins slept over at my house so yea.. i dun really like ppl looking at wad i typing for my blog.. but reading it after i post would be better.. so yea... tml i gonna stay at home!!!