creep

today was an emotional day.. thinking of just 1 thing.. and yes it did make me feel so lost.. in the morning went for wu shu.. went to jun wei's house first.. than train on some of my rusty moves in wu shu.. injured my groin badly.. so yea.. cant kick much.. today when i was sparing.. i felt like giving my full force out.. but i cant la.. or else i will die.. after that went to work.. everyone at coffee bean was like.. MING!! u still working? surviving? lol.. than act like they forget me la.. i just felt that i wanna be isolated the whole day.. stare blank.. after my work.. i went out to my work place the tables there.. the outdoor part of coffe bean.. the view was fantastic.. and the wind was strong.. i stood on the pillar.. where below me was a cliff.. i just rasie my hands up and close me eyes.. why am i feeling this way.. the wind blew my sorrows always.. felt better.. my fren at coffee bean was singing the 'creep' song.. lol. it really suits my mood la.. felt like screaming ...

anyway.. i just cant wait to go skool la.. all the jc start aready.. while the polys all still got 1 month?? =( =( .... i wanna like start studying seriouslly.. and yea.. play soccer.. do everything.. better than just work and work everyday.. oh my.. i think without music .. i would had gone nuts.. music control my emotions..

i guess that life for me.. it begins wif happiness.. and passion.. tuesday going for youth flying club interview.. to get my private jet licence.. wif kenny.. called me during work la.. haha.. it will be another week break.. dunnoe do wad.. till sunday i work agian.. i got so many things in mind wanna buy aready... get a good laptop.. get a crumpler laptop bag.. get a bike? get new shoes.. get new shirts from topman.. get a few pants.. get more gel and wax.. omg it makes alot of difference when i wax my hair.. or else i look like nerd.. gotta gear up wif confidence to start studying hard agian..

lulululu... all i can say mates.. Welcome to my life ! yea simple plan .. haha this is so sick.. more like mattew bellamy.. i wanna be.. i also feel like being kurt cobain.. do wad he is most happy doing... but sad la he kill himself because.. wad ppl love to see him to do is wad he hate most to do.. so yea.. life is quite unfair.. shotgun to the head.. think i should like go and learn turn table.. so can learn to become slipknot.. aggresive emotions.. always

sup

hello.. its like 1.15am now.. yea.. felt like blogging after looking all 06A02 photos.. looking at it reminds me of times we were together.. yea nice.. anyway.. i think that many things are getting clearer to me now.. i think that i get hold up quite easily.. hakim was like repeating this over and over agian.. haha.. he is really my real fren.. even duo he wasnt there for me all the time.. but he was there when i needed him the most.. i got to say that if not because of him i wouldnt be wad i am today.. he made me love music.. how to aprriciate life.. and time to chill out haha.. oh my oh my.. ngee ann poly.. gonna meet alot of new ppl agian..

oasis still remains the band i always let it lead my life.. songs that will play my life "dont go away" "stand by me" " let there be love" "dont look back an anger" "stop crying yur heart out" listen to these songs.. they pretty much lead the rythm of my life.. its nice stuff..

Class 06A02 u ROXOR! 

2

A brand new day now.. i feel so sorry to done the class message thing so last min than i write so little only.. anyway.. i gonna really miss u guys.. yesterday was the last day and to some it may be the last time i seen u.. my life in jj.. i can never forget.. even duo it may be just only 2 months.. it felt more than that.. how i wish it was 2 years instead yea? well.. time really flys.. now we have come to an end.. every ending there is a new beginning.. for many of us.. i dunnoe if i could still meet u all up agian.. i hope that all of the class 06A02 will never forget the memories we had.. its something i will never forget.. i got to say that i felt sad yesterday going home.. when can i ever capture that moment we had agian.. keep in touch mates...

i hope my life will stay carry on and get better.. i never really talk abt this on my blog b4 cause i noe that she might read it someday.. lol.. anyway.. yea the song i wrote for her.. i spend nights thinking how can i express my feelings abt her.. thinking abt that makes me afraid of manythings.. cause i am like kind of a screwed up person.. so the chances making it a success is slim.. but its amazing.. i got soo inspired when i composed that song.. because i noe that if i dun do it.. i never gonna even have a chance to try.. and i gonne regret for a very long time.. somehow i felt that after singing the song and letting her listen.. i had not done my best.. my personal thoughts are always abt her... what matters most is that i wanna be happy always.. i can't force anything rite.. well.. i cant expect anything good since i went after her.. cause i noe that its just too fast.. i can't really find a reason why she is special.. i just felt it.. i got to respect her decision.. all i can do now is go on wif life and just be there for her.. going to poly may sound like i am gonna slack.. but actually its all crap.. like viknesh told me abt his bro in poly .. its all about pure hardwork if u wanna do well.. i got give my best this time.. i really hope that my frenship wif her will still be there and stronger.. in this world.. anything is possible if u believe.. =)

well going up so high.. i hope i dun end up like kurt kobain.. lol.. skool starts like in 1 month time.. really long break.. hope to keep in contact wif all my jj mates.. guess now its back to old working days wif coffee bean.. yea..

jj

today... all i could say.. is that it was great =)
last day of jj.. yes its sad leaving u all..
and yes finally like can say wad i did today
the song i sang it out today to her..
whew.. that took alot from me..
was touched by the class spport alot..
could had just teared.. but yea i was strong
things are suppose to be better
and maybe is it now =)
thank you u all for everything...
i will miss my memory in JJ
everyone going seperate ways..
yeas i hope we still keep in touch..
06A02 rocks.. and we must still united!!
its the best class ever...

I would like to use this song to remember JJ..

In Loving Memory
Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone and
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I never knew what it was to be alone....no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting

But now I come home
And I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know
You're a part of me
And its your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of the one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I never knew what it was to be alone....no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting

But now I come home
And its not the same no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
But I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you'll be here
With me still

All you did you did with feeling
And you always found a meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

omg this photo is like taken 1 year ago? screwed up brain trying to study for o's ... well i was like listening music all the way.. btw this photo is special because its the first ever photo taken on chee fatt's phone!! haha yea.. hey mate.. when are we gonna go for our special trip?? haha miss u lots mate.. u made me laugh the loudest and the longest.. if it wasnt for u.. i wouldnt become a jackass.. well u are the bigger one.. life will never be the same =) 

suck

hello mates.. today i wasnt feeling good at all at the end of the day... i was injured and feeling a abit uneasy... maybe i shouldnt had thought of this so much.. somethings i regreted doing and somethings i did was lucky.. there will always a point of time where i can really go nuts in many ways.. but doing that sometimes makes me feel really free and happy.. and ya.. ppl might think i take this life as a joke..

i don't know how ppl think of me .. its real scary..
one of the reason is maybe because i dun really care wad ppl says abt me and i just go ahead.. sometimes i do get affected and sometimes i dun
if u think i am happy going on this way.. well maybe yur rite..
i am not sure wad the future brings me in..
all the greatest things i ever thought are illusion
can i make it reality?
wad makes me think that its gonna make me happy?
i realise happiness is very important to me..

haiz.. i always get misunderstood.. even the place where i work.. ppl still talks abt me.. which i dunnoe.. i mean like.. how i wish i could just see all of this.. and just correct my mistakes.. i been trying so hard to become someone better.. everytime i felt like i did.. i think it has made me too proud sometimes.. or maybe always..

this is life.. full of everything.. i can feel like i am gonna die..until some miracle saves me.. all i wanna do is music now .. i cant stand all this stress kept in my head.. how i wish i had my own fender and own marshall amps.. training vocals really hard.. thats why i am like losing my voice these days..

i will get my answers sooner or later.. but i always thought of the worst.. and it happens 90% of my life.. i dunnoe if i am really dumb or just that i am not born to do it.. i always dream that i could be like tom delonge someday.. can play the guitar and sing.. not may be the best .. but i just love his style..

all i can do is dream dream dream.. when can i ever take this step ahead of life..
life is all about making choices..
tonight i will just think all night..
have i really started my life?

i am going nuts..

today i am going to take a step ahead

today was quite a strange day
i skip all classes to play badminton
there is something always running through my mind
my mates say i should just go for it
i am just afraid things would shatter
went home today early
slept in the bus all the way
can't say much now
the time will come

zai

today soccer traning ran 22 rounds around the field.. lol. than had 2 sided match agian.. this time i play crap.. so ya and my blister tore my skin.. after that umar suddenly just blow off scolding the whole team.. kena pump everything than suddenly go into the gym haha. actually was preparing to have a birthday bash.. and yea we did hahaha.. manage to hit a few times on his back.. he is strong dey.. haha.. all we went through the punishment by umar was just an act haha.. okay la. quite fun..

before training was in skool.. i pon all the lessons!! haha.. so fun.. first i went to see the ogls doing mass dance.. than my class ppl started to join in.. haha.. than suddenly i felt like dancing too.. so yea nicolas offered me to dance.. haha damn gay la.. than later danced wif celest.. can see everyone laughing at my lame dance la..ahhaha.. they recorded my dance la.. wa lao.. better pay me!! haha.. after that went to canteen and sat there for 2 .5 hours.. haha quite fun la.. talk to so many ppl.. than go to prayers.. lol.. i enjoyed it actually cause we are like so united.. than went back to skool played badminton than go soccer..

now i have some inspiration.. which i had lost quite sometime ago.. after days of thinking so hard.. so yea i finally can put it in words in music.. so yea.. hope at least i get something out at the end of the day :D

thursday

hello mates.. today went to JP to watch movie wif celest liying mike bryan milton.. watched pink panter.. wasnt really that good la.. but okok la.. the cinema was so cold!! haha.. after that went to eat at long john.. than go home.. today the things happen quite fast i can say.. did enjoy a little..

sometimes i feel like giving up
there would always be a shine of hope showing me
should i accept the fact ?
should i just go get what i want?
or should i just let it go and wait till another time..
time is running out.. once agian another day is gone..

wednesday

today had training wif blisters on my right foot.. but i played striker today!! haha.. but quite disappointing la.. only got a few shots.. anyway.. dad fetch me home.. so yea.. slept in the car.. nothing much to say la.. cause i lazy to think now.. :D

DAMNIT WOHOO!!!

I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP ? This song rocks!

It's alright / to tell me / what you think / about me
I won't try / to argue / or hold it / against you
I know that / you're leaving / you must have / your reasons
the season / is calling / and your pictures / are falling down
(they're falling down)

The steps that / I retrace / the sad look / on your face
the timing / and structure / did you hear / that he fucked her?
a day late / a buck short / I'm writing / the report
on losing / and failing / when I move / I'm flailing now

And it's happened once again
I'll turn to a friend
someone that understands
sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
and I've been here for too long
to face this on my own
well I guess this is growing up
well I guess this is growing up

And maybe / I'll see you / at a movie / sneak preview
you'll show up / and walk by / on the arm / of that guy
and I'll smile / and you'll wave / we'll pretend / it's okay
the charade / it won't last / when he's gone / I won't come back

And it'll happen once again
you'll turn to a friend
someone that understands
and sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
and you've been there for too long
to face this on your own
well I guess this is growing up

Well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up

tired day

hello mates once agian.. today was a hell of a tiring day.. i fell asleep in almost all my lessons.. yesterday had soccer training.. ran 4km than train some match practice.. super tired.. and i fell asleep halfway yesterday night messaging.. this morning i felt the tiredness.. dunnoe why i ate so much today.. ate 2 plates ... 1 hot dog.. ice cream.. rootbeer float.. ate somemore i came home.. today i am home early!! haiz.. its boring la.. back home dunnoe wad to do.. i guess i will end up sleeping.. suppose to jam today but than mike also very tired so yea..

somehow today pass by very fast.. nothing much happen.. next week is the last week of skool.. i am getting tired of lessons.. all i wanna do is enjoy b4 the postings are out.. and after that its time to get serious.. somehow i just cant wait to get into poly... i even dreamt about the orientation .. lol.. well the sad part is that i am leaving JJ and my new found frens.. hope to keep in contact wif ya all.. i cant imagine life wifout jj in this 3 months.. so yea.. thank you all for everything

my time will come one day..

sunday morning

hello mates once agian.. its sunday morning.. its been a long time since i went wu shu.. i miss my last grading =( anyway i am having soccer feva now.. hahah been playing soccer almost everyday... yesterday training .. i all the way train my shots.. think its getting more accurate.. i love to whack the ball striaght and hard..

anyway.. had keyboard lesson yesterday morning.. and after that went to acjc wif liying celestine matin mike milton and his gf.. lol.. was kind of lost in the skool.. cause i like have no idea wad to do la.. everything also need to use the ticket which i dun have.. haha in the end celest and liying treat me some tickets to get food and tried a few games.. and there was this game where u have to kick the ball through this tire.. and beside it was a guy on wheel chair... haha i almost hit him la.. so scary.. and mike told me to blast the ball.. and it rebound off the rooftop and back to my face!!! hhahaha... damn funny la.. the person was really scared.. he said chill it mate.. u gonna tear this place down. hhaha.. =) after that we went to holland v to eat burger king.. i dun realise time to fly so fast.. and yes i got to go training after that. and it started to rain super heavily .. wif lightning and everything.. in the end when i reached skool.. it stop raining.. and yea we train...

last nite was so horrible la..i kena mosquito attack!! cannot sleep.. than i take blanket and wrap myself up than finally can sleep lol...anyway.. today i gonna play soccer agian.. futsal this time.. time to show some flicks and blast hahaha.. yea.. i love soccer.. just love it..

there are many things i would to say to you but i dunnoe how..
cause maybe u got to be the one that save me
and after all.. yur my wonderwall! =)

vday

happy valentines day mates.. omg.. i suddenly feel so fresh.. like i woke up from my grave.. there are things that are FIANLLY clear off my mind.. whew.. i admire zhi wei courage.. to just chiong.. get it striaght and yea.. do it once.. do it right.. life as usual mate.. love is all around.. and please let there be love.. yea.. oasis.. gonna miss their concert =(

This is one of my fav song that makes me happy =)

SONGBIRD
Talking to the songbird yesterday
Flew me to a place not far away
She's a little pilot in my mind
Singing songs of love to pass the time

Gonna write a song so she can see
Give her all the love she gives to me
Talk of better days that have yet to come
I never felt this love from anyone

She's not anyone
She's not anyone
She's not anyone

A man can never dream these kind of things
Especially when she came and spread her wings
Whispered in my ear the things I'd like
Then she flew away into the night

Gonna write a song so she can see
Give her all the love she gives to me
Talk of better days that have yet to come
Never felt this love from anyone

She's not anyone
She's not anyone
She's not anyone

yea mate.. lets rock n roll. ALL our way to our very last breath ! =)

goodbye

hello mates.. sowie haven been updating the past few days due to some reasons i dun felt like blogging. and yea i got my results on friday.. it was shocking to me how badly i done. lucky enough i still could enter poly wif a wide range of courses. the thing i am most disappointed wif is that my english really shocked me i got a D7.. i mean like.. how the hell did i get that? ya that destroy my chances but not entirely. i felt really really very bad after getting my results.. my mum cried when i got home.. and i felt so loved when my dad was like showing that there is still hope in life.. i felt so touched.. they were the first ones to know my results.. i felt i really let down alot of ppl that day.. but i got to thank my family for the encouragement and my mates hakim and chi leong for helping to sort out my courses. i was really in a whirl after the results.. i spent the entire day looking at all the courses..and ya met up wif lying and bryan later on and than went to hakim's house and than my house.. they stayed my house until 3 am..

i thought i would be so doomed.. that night.. the sky was so beautiful.. the moonlight was so bright and the stars all over it.. i think its a sign to me showing that there is still hope and never to give up.. recently i have been thinking alot.. i hope that my thoughts will not hold my life from going on..

well on saturday got a game in jj agian.. agianst the MOE team agian.. umar ask me to come for like my last game or something.. yea i came.. we lost 5-3 but we did better la .. compared to the last few games.. but i was really cut off my stamina.. cause i ate laksa b4 the game...after the game went to raffles city wif bryan to help him get some stuff.. but in the end he decided to go and get it the next day..

well i am working today at bugis coffee bean.. lol.. well ya.. hope to update tonight agian

5

today wasnt really my day.. but i rather felt quite peaceful.. i was actually so anxious abt the vjc match the entire whole day.. cause this could be my last match playing for jj and play against such a strong team.. leassons today were cool.. everything went smoothly.. and quite slack.. played badminton.. lol.. to actually warm my legs up la.. i felt my legs so tight in the morning.. after that had maths.. and yea went to jp wif matin,bryan,celest,liying and sarah.. to actually eat 1 hour b4 the match.. ate ice chendol.. haha.. and yea i thought the gathering for soccer was 3.30.. but its actually 3pm.. haiz.. kena rushed there la.. than we started warming up.. kicking around.. had my shots quite accurate.. lol..haiz.. anyway.. later we gathered and huddled.. we sang the skool song.. facing the spporters.. i felt so honoured to have the fans there supporting jj.. faces of my frens mates classmates jj mates... and i look down and up the flag.. bending my head down closing my eyes.. feeling the meaning of the song .. it was very emotional.. could be the last time hearing the skool song.. i was like come on!! lets go and win.. sadly we lost the game 2-0.. we played well.. i was proud of team jj.. i know we can make it to the championship.. i took quite a long time on the field feeling the last breath of team jj.. i am gonna miss my soccer mates.. and the supporters.. i got to thank u all those i ask to come and support.. it was a great exprience =)

results in 2 days time.. yea.. the story is yet to be continued..

3

it is confirm that this friday results are out.. I seriously want to have less than 20 points so i can stay in jjc.. i only had this thought only after taking my o levels.. thats why i having double thoughts.. haiz.. i should had put in even more effort la.. so i am confident abt it.. so afraid my results really screw me up..

well mates.. i really wish to stay in jj.. if i dun.. i would be sad.. even being in jj for only a month plus.. it has become a part of me.. the friends.. the teachers.. the faces.. the spirit.. after all the effort in put in jj wif my commiment in soccer and ogl.. it was all worth the blood to shed for.. today training was damn xiong la.. ran 300m burst.. 5 times!!! wth.. my legs cant even move properly la.. than play match after that.. than kena scold like wad la.. haiz.. its okay la.. i can take my mistake and learn.. now my body heating up because i have been not feeling well and i overwork my body out today.. almost vomited during training..

well tml gonna watch movie after skool wif celes and kuinoi.. dun abt the rest.. bryan said he had shadow meeting.. i suppose to go for coffee bean class lessons.. but since this is our last week of skool.. i wun let u all down and go on wif u all =) because this is the only chance in life we will have..

i really feel like making a tribute to jjc when i am gone.. to show my loving memory in jj that i will never forget.. cheer mates =(

2

omg i think i am seriously gonna fall sick.. been coughing.. well today went to skool for the ogl thing.. met the shadows.. wasnt really comfortable under their hands.. cause its like suddenly they are incharge of the ogls now.. i mean like they are aready selected to lead us.. which gives the ogls no room for leadership among ourselves.. no wonder they kept stressing abt the shadows and ogls sharing same power.. but it seems them controling ogls.. well.. wad to do?

The thing that strikes me most is that when the camp ic scold us for being slack taking our time to be puntual.. i mean like wtf la.. he said 1 pm meet.. than now he said 1245 we should be there aready.. and 1255 is when the bus comes in (like bloodly hell how we noe? ) i just hate it when the scolding gets on.. and its so obvious the kind of face the guy have is like MUAHAHAH i am bigger and have the rights to command u.. i felt like showing my finger.. lol.. its just this thing i am very uncomfortable abt.. haiz... dunnoe la.. its just not right i felt.. all the leadership roles among ourselves are under them.. and being scold.. its just not the spirit la.. i mean like if mistakes we do.. we learn together.. oh ya that reminds me when all the ogls sitting down and all the shadow standing surrounding us.. i mean like wow... i feel so small.. and when i was in the bus.. got this guy who is who damn thick skin.. kept shouting out for cheer.. siao!! than zhi wei also noe.. that this guy why become shadow? he more suitable for ogl.. cause he cheer hell of alot..lazy to talk abt it aready la.>

btw i walk back to clarke quay than met up wif afiq at ps.. we played x box for 3 hours.. haha so cheap.. 7.50!! =) yea felt so good.. and wads better is that we ate billy bombers agian!! on the house somemore..so shiok.. and yea we went hmv.. and guess wad? THEY PLAYED MUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yea i love watching them rocking.. the whole hmv was muse.. yea.. =) after that went home.. and yea.. tada,, i am here =)
ps: tml skool