Anxiously waiting to reach Changi Airport T2 

Leaving home for Australia... in a mini bus! HERE I COME OZZY!! =) 

Life in australia

HEllo mates!! i got connection here in Australia!! WHO HOOO>>.... just had a long long day... lazy to type so many things!! i just upload pics.. hehehehe.. =) Rock On MATes!!

Staying awake to chase my dreams

Hello.. once agian.. i staying up late again 2 times in a row.. because i slept in the day.. =) now on channel 5 showing this concert by james dunnoe who haha..not bad.. can sing can dance can play piano.. cool ! tomorrow having chem test!! wahh.. still only noe a little.. die die.. lol.. well i am still counting... 3 more days!! i going off to australia!! yea... get the F*** out of here. and clear my thoughts.. i dun wan to only be kept in well like a frog where u only see the circumfrence of the well.. and the world out there is so big!

I've seen so much.. and i know there is more! World.. i only seen singapore and a few other countries.. i wish i could see the entire world! Thats why bening in a band going to a world tour.. is great! well.. now i only see the world from my pc or books.. but it can never be as real as being there.. People always limit their own goals because they think that its their limit .. but limitations actually dosen't make the best out of us.. setting a goal wif not limits.. that is when u be the best.. because u just give all u got.. u never know how much u can give.. until u try.. You never know until u flap your wing.. and know how hight u can fly!

Well.. life is not a reharsal.. is like a box of chocolate, you never know what u gonna get =)

Me My bro Yub and DIcky ma cousin! Life just begun mates!!  

Life just began

Whats up mates... I been updating my blog these few days constanly.. also dunnoe why.. just felt like doing it lol... Today went out to buy 2 long pants.. haha because i dun have any at home.. also borrow from my brothers.. Today in skool.. half the time i was dozing of.. cause i go take my medicine than feel so drowsy.. haha ..than go home only sleep all the way till 7pm.. so nice the feeling.. 4 more days!! i going to australia muhahaha.... turning 17 in 3 days.. but i find it no point to be excited abt unless i turn 18 haha.. well.. one more year.. Today i felt that i should really do something about my music life.. i should start composing songs and lyrics.. these few days i been focusing on Muse.. they rocks baby..!! AHAH ... i love them.. the song below.. i just love the tune and meaning of it.. Sing for absolution is also a damn freaking nice song.. haha..

It makes me feel to high and motivated.. well.. alot of people celebrated easter day and say it brings them closer to God.. well can't offend them.. For me.. God is forever with me.. and that close to me.. everyday in my life.. God is there.. can't see him or feel him.. my actions are all watched and recorded.. What can replace God to me.. nothing execpt God himself.. I have my duty to live this life which i am given.. I shall fufill my duties by turning into a wonderful life! Life is beautiful.. the perfect creation of human.. for mankind.. yea.. Music is one thing that everybody likes in many ways.. Thats why i wan to be a musician.. a great one .. one day .. ! Muse is like my target to achieve .. follow their footsteps and make even better music.. thats the start and begining only.. lol.. I got to improve my english mates! haha.. my english is horrible.. until i can't even express my feelings out properly.. people always mistake me.. well.. somehow i i will clear this and show my real identity .. lol.. haha

Life has just begun... Here i come! My destiny My dream My fate My life My tale My choice
Its all up to me to decide.. =)

Falling away with you

Falling away with you

Extracted from : 'Absolution' (22/09/03)
Written by : Matthew Bellamy

I can?t remember when it was good
Moments of happiness elude
Maybe I just misunderstood
All of the love we left behind
Watching the flash backs intertwain
Memories I will never find
Whatever you've become
Forget the reckless things we've done
I think our lives have just begun
I think our lives have just begun

And I?ll feel my world crumbling down
Feel my life crumbling now
Feel my soul crumbling away
Falling away
Falling away with you

Staying awake to chase the dream
Tasting the air you?re breathing in



I hope I won?t forget a thing
I wish to hold you close and pray
Watching a fantasy decade
Nothing will ever stay the same
And all of the love we threw away
And all of the hopes we?ve cherished fade
Making the same mistakes again
Making the same mistakes again

And I?ll feel my world crumbling down
Feel my life crumbling now
Feel my soul crumbling away
And falling away
Falling away with you

All of the love we left behind
Watching the flash backs intertwain
Memories I will never find
Memories I will never find


This song suits me alot.. For the kind of situation i am in... This is what i think its best to go on in life =) Life has just began!

Sunday

Hello mates... i dunnoe why i read my blog's past enteries... can't believe so many things did happen to me.. in just 1 year.. lol.. amazing!! Well now.. i am starting to understand certain things.. What has brought me down and how i fight my way back up.. why things just go wrong... why people behave this way.. why i am being treated like this.. all this questions run through me almost everyday.. answers which i am not sure of.. the only thing that keeps me going is the will to go on in life.. even just being alone.. a future that i once shared wif has been gone.. now a new future is ahead of me.. shall i take the step forward? of course i will.. if i dun than i am stupid.. because i will end up being left on the self..

tommorrow skool starts again .. 5 more days!!! to going australia ...!!! YEAAEA WHOOO HOOOOOOOO MUAHAHAHAHA.... yea yea yea yea.. it would be a good time to clear all my doubts that i been having for this month...

Good Friday? nah...

Helloo... Just only woke up around 11am... Still feel quite sleepy... CAn't believe i posted so many things in my blog.. Not even know who are the people reading.. its not that i wan to tell the whole world.. just that those who are intrested are always welcome to read =) I think life has just began for me.. because what happened in the past no longer hold me back.. I would like to thank Muse alot lol.. listening to their songs everyday.. Give me the desire to wake up agian and shine out in life.. Even their songs are like the world is ending or revenge.. It just motivates me.. their music is just simply wonderful.. Oasis on the other hand is also a very good band.. Both of these bands have orignality.. no one plays like them... For the first time in my life.. i felt like studying.. very hard.. Its sounds scary when ppl say they realise something and they ignore you.. but i am not like that because no matter how much i realise things.. i will not leave anyone behind.. Yesterday when i was at home.. i felt regretful.. for not doing well in my psle.. if i had done better i could be 1 year ahead and together wif my badge of friends.. now just only seeing them moving forward and me still here.. Someday i must catch up wif them.. I also wun leave myself behind... After my O'levels.. there is many things i wish to do.. firstly is my band.. i wanna repolish my band.. Train our selves up until muse standart of play.. than we start composing... I been training my vocal for abt a month aready.. but now i am sick got sore throat.. my biggest dream is still the be a musician for all my life.. But of course my studies must also always be there to hold me back in case i dun make it.. I been thinking.. i dun wan to be someone simple and common.. Someone who is different.. Other than being a musician i wanna be a air pilot.. or become a businessman.. I make it big for my life.. no matter what.. i still have achieve that much in life than i am pleased.. It sounds quite selfish of thinking like that. but that is my dreams.. the only way i can for once be very happy.. when actually the things i love doing all my life is my work.. that is cool.. because its something we are doing from the best of ourselves... Today is good friday..lol.. exactly one year ago.. my fren invited me to her fren house for a party.. i thot it was just a normal simply party.. in the end they were celebrating good friday.. lol.. they explained to me abt christianity and even played a game related to the bible.. of course i din mind.. even showed me a video tape the crossing.. it turn out that 2 of my frens also had the same idea as me.. they are also not christians thinking its just a normal party.. to be frank.. i face this a couple of times.. when people talk about christianity infront of my face.. even in skool.. or class.. its just something i would like to have say but it always never turn out to be good .. cause its always agianst.. lol =x I got a few friends who had the same exprience as me.. when they go out as a group and being left out just because he or she is not a christian.. I dunnoe how can i say how i feel about this.. i fell that everyone should not divide among themselves.. it feels so terrible.. being leftout for me its okie.. but others cannot take it.. I have quite a board knowledge for most of the religions.. but i dun think its enough to really understand everything.. I trying to borrow the da vinci code from chee fatt.. heard its a damn good book.. but its agianst catholic.. Well there is no harm finding out more.. that is what most people fear.. finding of more beyond their religion.. you dun see a muslim reading a bible out there dun you? well there is a minority la.. but i think that is being unselfish.. to understand more.. But of course i got to know my own religion well enough first.. not enough.. very well ... and just compare.. like SBQ lol.. that is when skills comes in.. Humanities ... everyone is trying to save mankind .. but what is the real truth? If america thinks money is bigger than saving lives.. what about their beliefs? CAn we trust them? not only them.. alot of people.. just because of money.. ppl mislead us into this confusion.. everything is about money.. corruption.. My personal exprience is that.. even i never felt God before.. i know he is there.. no one can feel God.. its all about your thinking.. everyone can say they feel God.. But for me.. i think its something about your thinking.. Why i still believe even if i dun feel it? Because i know that the truth is that no one can feel God.. He is way off too powerful for u to feel.. Only the messengers have a small bit of it to feel.. after centuries.. who had? I dunnoe why i suddenly talk abt this.. but this is just something i been running through my mind.. If things happen, if it is good, it is because you earn it.. this is the most basic steps in life.. u cannot depend on someone else or luck.. its all up to you.. Thats why now i must start working hard... i just look forward to see what i get at the end of the day.. =)

Miss those times we had jamming mates!! Haha ..this is one of the moments we were high.. the feeling can never be replaced..=) 

Muse rocks man!!

Hello... today was sick when i woke up this morning.. din felt like going skool.. but sitll i had because i have to pass the cds to jin hua and do my test.. tml her bqq .. i dun think i can go because i am sick.. plus must pay $10!! wahh.. friday still got another bbq from zh hao.. the gu niang man... Well frankly my thoughts and feelings for the past few days.. i still have thoughts about the past abt the times i had wif her.. it was like it was all a dream.. even it did happen it feels so werid.. life being single is not bad after all.. the funny thing abt her is that she straight away had another bf after she broke off wif me.. it sounds so werid.. lol.. watever la.. my bro saw her at science center for a couple of days.. than i told my bro this.. u expect me to do wad? go there now ?? haha got to be kidding.. i rather sleep at home.. and i shouldn't bother to care abt her anymore... cause this is was she asked for.. so be it...

Life in skool has been okay la.. improving everyday.. listen to class more.. i think i gonna study hell of alot by now.. my parents bought so many assement books for me.. Recently i became intrested in playing drums.. dunnoe why but its damn fun when i try to play muse songs.. Sing for absolution is a nice song... damn slow and relax.. even if its rock.. its smooth.. =) now i going to have english tution too.. from my bro's english tutor last time one... on saturday he is comming.. i wrote him a essay about my wish of a talent i wan to possess and how i make use of it.. of course i talked abt music la.. but i think its badly written by me haha.. nvm la.. should learn from mistakes...

Can't wait!! one more week i am going to australia!! yea..

Matthew Bellamy.. The frontman of MUSE!! HE ROXOR!!! Sings damn freaking well.. Plays guitar superb.. Plays keyboard or piano fantastic!! My idol for musician!! MATTHEW BELLAMY... Rock On MATE!!

Late at nite!

Waz up mates.. Life just have been getting better and BETTER!! Now its holiday mood.. but my holidays been taken away by 3 days due to camps... damn it! wtf mate.. hehe.. tml morning gonna get up go tution.. than go play pool wif frens.. den go to the camp... 3days 2 nites.. hope i dun die of boredness there.. =) Play ps2 until 1.30 am wif my brother.. haha in the end win =) use classic brazil.. pele!! the soccer leagend.. yea yea... i got to wake up early tml!! =( sleep so little only like that.. *watever* i gonna sleep still..

What a start MATE!! =)

HELLLLLLLLOO !!! I dunnoe why i feel so fresh now..! its time to start over new.. this is only the begining ... =) after i asked ellice for a last meet to clear my things out.. and she rejected or perhaps delayed it until june cause busy.. well.. i think its okay la.. if wan to drag .. drag lor.. When the going gets tough.. the tough gets going! =) This is my life.. my passion my tale.. and it always be.. Its better to be clear of what i need to know.. than thinking of false hopes.. now its has ended... this means a new start ... a NEW BORN!!!!! woooohooo!!!

Muse is the best band in the world.. MUAHAHAHHAHA

Cross Country

Hello people once agian =) today had my cross country run.. got 2oth in position.. even it sounds so lousy.. i am still happy i manage to completed the race.. i could had given up.. My mind was half blacking out.. i din drink or eat anything b4 the race.. ran wif an empty stomach.. it has really a very long painful moment.. i kept telling myself not to give up... mind over body.. was the key that kept me going.. while running in the race.. many things came through my mind.. reminding me of the past when i was sec 1 till now sec 5.. so many mermories.. but i kind of disappointed getting 20th cause i used to be better than that.. sec 3 was my best.. i got 6th even being the disadvantage of the B division..

Today i listen to a few songs to clam my mind down after the broke up.. it still does go through my mind alot.. its never easy ... because its a feeling in me.. from my heart.. i can't force it.. or else i will never be true to myself.. even she had lost all feelings for me.. it hasn't for me.. i dun know how she managed to do that too.. but it still exist in me.. so many things ran through my mind.. recording how i feel into the white notebook.. The songs below i post them because i can say that is how i really feel.. its alot of mixture... either you love or you hate.. because i only know very limited of what really happened.. my english does suck alot.. but i dun care how i type here because i want to spot my mistakes... An Jing has been the song i been listening for a very long time.. until it is really happening to me.. its a nice song.. Today when i ran through my mind agian why this feeling i kept feeling is because.. that i can accept the fact she lost feelings for me and broke up.. i can't accept is the way of how it all happen... maybe i was too slow or unaware.. Its too difficult to think over it just like that.. I choose to slove matters than to replace it wif another thing.. because i think i should learn to slove things and learn all this things of how it all happened... I still think of the past.. but i dun live in the past.. its dragging me.. whatever i think of.. it always come to my mine.. even its like this now...

2 more weeks and i am off to australia for 10 days.. leaving all my sorrows unslove.. it will always remain.. i need to clear things out.. but there is nothing i can do abt it now either.. so i live with it.. thinking everyday... This journey for me has always been rough.. ups and downs.. Hope i can ever live my life to the fullest..

Sometimes in life you got to live with what you get..Only if i could live with what i must get

Gui Ji

This song is from jay zhou also.. Gui Ji.. very nice song to hear.. i hear it everynight to clam my feelings down

Orbit

How can I hide my sorrow?
The place I lost you
The scent of your hair
Scatters hastily
I already cannot follow it

Close my eyes
I can still see
The vestige of when you left
Under the moonlight
Always been searching for
That figure that I miss

If you said that break up is the starting point of pain
Then before the finish line
I am willing to love again
Want to say to you
The love I dare not say
Will there be someone who understands?

I will be staring blankly
Then forget you
Shortly after that I will tightly close my eyes
Thinking of which day
When there will be someone to be in your place
To make me not think about you anymore

I will be staring blankly
Then smile
Shortly after that I will tightly close my eyes
Think about it again
Your gentle face
Before I forget

The tears in my heart
Obscures my visual line
Soon you already cannot be seen

White Flag

White Flag -Dido

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of It's over
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All I was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Silence

This is the translation of An Jing

Only the piano is left over to talk with me for a day
The sleeping cello
The old silence
I think that you have already made it very clear
I understand and I know
You will not miss
You say you will feel sad, I don’t believe
Holding you being with me
It is only the past
Hope that he really needs to love you more compared to me
Only then will I force myself to leave
You want me to say it, it is very embarrassing
I basically do not want to part
Why do I still have to use subtle smile to carry across?
I do not have this kind of talent to
Tolerate you and accept him
Don’t need to worry too much
I will constantly live well
You have already left far away
I will also slowly walk away
Why must I be yielding to you even for separation?
I really do not have a talent
Won't become silent this fast
I will learn to give you up
It is because I love you too much

Realise

hello once agian... today i seem to realise things that are suppose to be about a month ago.. Well ... things happen faster than i realise.. The change in me is what is all about.. Since this year.. i been trying very hard to focus on my O levels.. and say things that i wanna have alot.. which are some too big to set goals.. yesterday totally vend all my feelings out on this blog.. because that is what i only see and felt..

just only today jw tell me things propely and i see it now.. too late.. but better than never.. i dunnoe how am i gonna prepare my life towards the future.. things that i ever wanted seem just under my nose.. all i got to do is work very hard for it.. dun take it for granted.. I love to be always motivated towards goals.. cause its give me disire of the things i want.. reciving one thing that is good to have and giving is also as important things in life.. today i read this chinese book which i took from my fren to read it as it has love saga seeds all over the cover pictures of it.. the title in chinese is " doing things which are correct or wrong.. its all because doing it for love " thats one thing i encounter.. and have many stories in the book and began reading aCHINESE book! haha.. I can say that i am still not recovered from what has happen from the break up.. things are still not clear.. after seeing it clear.. the truth hurts but.. i have to learn from mistakes..

this year i had been recieving alot of internal and external motivation.. thats why it has made me for what i am.. shouln't be proud of it.. being selfish is also one thing.. well.. life still has to go on for me... do the best of what i can produce =)

A scar left on my arm.. b4 she told me her feelings.. realising she loves me no more ...