Talk to Rex on the phone last night. And he said that he wants to make it happen that our band perform at DXO this novemeber . Well i also badly want to perform at DXO. anyway just met my fren who came over near my place to tell me abt some business stuff. kinda of interesting. my ambition is always about making money and doing the the things i ever wanted. It hit me hard that i can't always drool over my bad education results. after all its a qualification that i need to work. and that money is limited and its not guarantee that its stable that i get that amount of money. i have always believe that investing in business and making my own business is the way to make money. and you don't need a high qualification to do that. it somehow made me look towards the bright side of life. my fren also drop out like me, said that don't see it as a bad thing i got expelled from school. maybe its a sign or something. this is my downfall of life , thats what my parents see me . well if its my downfall , i don't blame anyone. i always too believe that life is about ups and downs. too bad that my parents dun think that way. i do really want to achieve the things i have set my goal for.
In this world when people talk business , they say its bullshit
until you show them the money at their face
its the money that will shut them up
infact people who say its bullshit are the cowards
who don't dare to take the risk
i am willing to suffer all the pain i am having now to work towards my goal.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
The day I tried to be a better man
well yea my results came.. my biggest nightmare came through. happy?
i got kick out of school. i am going to NS. happy?
well maybe its fated for me to go through this.
went to school wif my parents and bro to appeal against my dismissal earlier today. they said have a chance.. maybe. 2 out of 10?
i think i better prepare myself for NS.
i imagined this when i was taking the exams. i guess no body knew how scared i was. and now its no use being scared.
even before my results came. i swear if i pass and get to continue i would really study like a mad dog. haiz..
my family wants me to changed? stop music? stop all my life?
finding it hard to accept to really stop music . i dunnoe why even i knew studies came first. who doesnt want to change to be a better person.
my parents thought its my music that distract me the most.
well i find it hard to accept la.
but i have to change.
and i come to realise that actually i spend most of my time
doing nothing?
really nothing?
i been slacking , sleeping, lepaking too much i think.
if i were to put my studies ahead of all the things i wanna do
then i can do whatever i want.
i dun think they trust me anymore.
thats why i think i might as well go ns to lose all my freedom.
its like losing my life.
i know its important. but its just like so dead la.. i cannot live wif it.
sorry i think like a small boy. but i too wanna make my own decisions.
i am turning 20 next year. and still i am like u know . being told to study and all.. haiz.. how to change like that. dun blame them but i wish i had the chance to learn things the hard way. because the easy way doesnt get in my head.
what am i talking? shit... my mind is going nuts
okok i will change.
seriously i will.
but please dun tell me what to cut and all. i want to make my own decision to know what i want to choose. i know i always tend to do so many things at 1 time. but well okok.. i list down now and see if its better
1 studies
2 music (np strings and my own band)
is that alot?
well i guess its hard for some people to understand how much i am gonna change. well. , no point talking so much. i got to show it to them. well if u think i am talking too much here? this is a blog . come one its thoughts in my head. i am not like gonna tell people by mouth what i mention here rite?
okok
may tml be a better day
i got kick out of school. i am going to NS. happy?
well maybe its fated for me to go through this.
went to school wif my parents and bro to appeal against my dismissal earlier today. they said have a chance.. maybe. 2 out of 10?
i think i better prepare myself for NS.
i imagined this when i was taking the exams. i guess no body knew how scared i was. and now its no use being scared.
even before my results came. i swear if i pass and get to continue i would really study like a mad dog. haiz..
my family wants me to changed? stop music? stop all my life?
finding it hard to accept to really stop music . i dunnoe why even i knew studies came first. who doesnt want to change to be a better person.
my parents thought its my music that distract me the most.
well i find it hard to accept la.
but i have to change.
and i come to realise that actually i spend most of my time
doing nothing?
really nothing?
i been slacking , sleeping, lepaking too much i think.
if i were to put my studies ahead of all the things i wanna do
then i can do whatever i want.
i dun think they trust me anymore.
thats why i think i might as well go ns to lose all my freedom.
its like losing my life.
i know its important. but its just like so dead la.. i cannot live wif it.
sorry i think like a small boy. but i too wanna make my own decisions.
i am turning 20 next year. and still i am like u know . being told to study and all.. haiz.. how to change like that. dun blame them but i wish i had the chance to learn things the hard way. because the easy way doesnt get in my head.
what am i talking? shit... my mind is going nuts
okok i will change.
seriously i will.
but please dun tell me what to cut and all. i want to make my own decision to know what i want to choose. i know i always tend to do so many things at 1 time. but well okok.. i list down now and see if its better
1 studies
2 music (np strings and my own band)
is that alot?
well i guess its hard for some people to understand how much i am gonna change. well. , no point talking so much. i got to show it to them. well if u think i am talking too much here? this is a blog . come one its thoughts in my head. i am not like gonna tell people by mouth what i mention here rite?
okok
may tml be a better day
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Back playing soccer,back to injury
hey yesterday had my first soccer match in don't know how many months? felt so damn rusty.. well the game was at tampinies safra !! damn far.. but well the new field paid it off =) playing on new artificial grass.. was quite a though game but well we lost 3-2 . could had scored more on our side. and yea i think i am damn rusty now playing. i was given the left back position . the position that i played in secondary school days. well the 1st half of the match i was dying because my stamina is draining me up very fast. i almost wanted to faint. well i held on till half time. i was wasting way to much energy trying to chase the players and overlap . 2nd half was better as i manage to pace my energy out evenly. even had a decent shot but gone wide. better than 1st half. well my legs are weak now. and my stamina . alot of work out and training has to be done! even my control and passing. i miss being on tip top condition playing and always make a difference in the team. well now my legs are aching because i got tackled quite badly in the first half. the guy boots landed on my left ankle while i cleared the ball. can see the boot marks on my leg now lol.. okok going to driving lesson now and later going for my guitar lesson.
Monday, September 03, 2007
empty
hello i know its been quite awhile since i last updated my blog.. well i just came back from chek wye birthday outing. and its like 3.15AM now OMG! feeling super shagged.. well zero to hero competition is finally over. well i assume we are all noe heros? i dun feel like i accomplish much. rather disappointed with myself.. well i really had fun with u guys jamming and all but i am just u noe stubborn just not happy with myself for not doing being.. i am not a hero till i overcome my greatest challenge. i know my mentally is very competitive and its very bold and dumb.
all i wanna say is that i am proud of drop-d to pull off a good show even we did everything at the very last min. well something that struck me was when one of the judges told me this "you are a good man, dun let others tell you otherwise" and chek wye gave me a pad on my back. well feel kind of relief. my vocal i can still say it sucks to the core. the only thing i had was my showman ship going nuts and act like as though i am some superstar trying to impress the crowd. it really feels great holding the mic and have hundred of eyes watching you. well i really love to be somebody someday to be a front man and have the power. what they always call it " with the lift of your fingers, you lift up the world "
currently i have alot alot of things i been thinking about. and i felt that sometimes my life is kinda of empty. the only thing i feel comfortable filling in is music. well i hope that i can add more spices to my life than just being like this forever.i rather die . getting sick of the same stuff everyday. and when i take a look around. i just envy of all the things that i dun have. its just killing me.
its a cold day
my heart is empty
arms feeling weak
eyes wide shut
mind in an illusion
memories elude
hopes turned cold
soul is dying
stain on my shirt
torn out of baby arms
tears came crashing
smell of dead roses
saw the light at the end of the road
its dark and freezing cold here
dreamt of an angel
telling me everythings okay
but when i open my eyes
it was empty
all i wanna say is that i am proud of drop-d to pull off a good show even we did everything at the very last min. well something that struck me was when one of the judges told me this "you are a good man, dun let others tell you otherwise" and chek wye gave me a pad on my back. well feel kind of relief. my vocal i can still say it sucks to the core. the only thing i had was my showman ship going nuts and act like as though i am some superstar trying to impress the crowd. it really feels great holding the mic and have hundred of eyes watching you. well i really love to be somebody someday to be a front man and have the power. what they always call it " with the lift of your fingers, you lift up the world "
currently i have alot alot of things i been thinking about. and i felt that sometimes my life is kinda of empty. the only thing i feel comfortable filling in is music. well i hope that i can add more spices to my life than just being like this forever.i rather die . getting sick of the same stuff everyday. and when i take a look around. i just envy of all the things that i dun have. its just killing me.
its a cold day
my heart is empty
arms feeling weak
eyes wide shut
mind in an illusion
memories elude
hopes turned cold
soul is dying
stain on my shirt
torn out of baby arms
tears came crashing
smell of dead roses
saw the light at the end of the road
its dark and freezing cold here
dreamt of an angel
telling me everythings okay
but when i open my eyes
it was empty
Thursday, August 30, 2007
challengers
hello back from camp thats a pic of me and mark celebrating our 1st yea anniversary. and thats vell with chee ko pek smile and suren wif his lame face hahaha.. well camp was quite a turn off.. well made some new frens here and there. damn tired now anyway. dun know what to do for the rest of the holidays =(
Thursday, August 23, 2007
new skin
hello! i think this skin is freaking awesome because its the lyrics from the song "iris" superb song. well its meaningful to me. anyway exams are over and i pray hard that i will pass all my subjects and continue with my poly life. i just cant imagine the worse. its really scary. who knows that it would be my last time coming to school taking the exams and coming to school normally. its really really scary i can say. well now its holidays i should be enjoying as much as i can lol.
i started work like the day after my final paper. can say teaching the juniors was really fun. they had to prepare for this robotics competition and i was there to assist them and encourage them. well they were sitting on the floor figuring out how to make the robot move more accurate. to collect these 3 bricks from their base. lol. its lego my childhood toy haha.. anyway well after 2 hours the kids working out on the solution they accidentally hit the power off their laptop and all the documents are gone lol. so they have to like retype the whole program out.. well i pity them so i sat on the floor wif them and help them out. lol.. its really cute and nice to like see how the juniors respect . they were like saying " wah teacher so pro. we take 2 hours to figure out, he 2 hours can liao " haha.. of course la or else why would i be paid to help them lol. well its really nice mixing around wif the juniors . i miss my sec school days. i think if i would be a teacher i would be too nice to be one haha.. i always never like scolding people but just talking to them to like encourage them. because forcing is no use. once u win their heart. what ever u do in life with yur heart, surely it will work. no point forcing them . well look at myself i think my life is really screwed up. and i dun see my self as a role model for them to follow . all my life.. the only thing that isnt perfect for me has always been my studies. i dunnoe if its because i am dumb or what. well i kinda of figure out that my motivational spirit i super weak. i always intend to give up halfway and not focus. i always hated myself for being lazy. and regret .
well now its holidays all i can only look forward to is JAMMING! got the role or rhythm guitarist for Rex band. pretty awesome but of course i would prefer playing lead guitar. haha.. lead is like the way to feel the guitar . everytime play power chord sure sianz one haha.. tml indra aiman mark and chek wye comming my house to jam the whole day.. hopefully we will work something out for saturday rehearsal.
my life aint perfect but i can't complain , i think i am fortunate enough to suffer this less . as i known people who needs it more than i do. i realize i always feel like i am in an illusion . i still don't know what makes me feel like its reality. its always abt dreams and nightmares.
with every hidden message there will always be a reason
i started work like the day after my final paper. can say teaching the juniors was really fun. they had to prepare for this robotics competition and i was there to assist them and encourage them. well they were sitting on the floor figuring out how to make the robot move more accurate. to collect these 3 bricks from their base. lol. its lego my childhood toy haha.. anyway well after 2 hours the kids working out on the solution they accidentally hit the power off their laptop and all the documents are gone lol. so they have to like retype the whole program out.. well i pity them so i sat on the floor wif them and help them out. lol.. its really cute and nice to like see how the juniors respect . they were like saying " wah teacher so pro. we take 2 hours to figure out, he 2 hours can liao " haha.. of course la or else why would i be paid to help them lol. well its really nice mixing around wif the juniors . i miss my sec school days. i think if i would be a teacher i would be too nice to be one haha.. i always never like scolding people but just talking to them to like encourage them. because forcing is no use. once u win their heart. what ever u do in life with yur heart, surely it will work. no point forcing them . well look at myself i think my life is really screwed up. and i dun see my self as a role model for them to follow . all my life.. the only thing that isnt perfect for me has always been my studies. i dunnoe if its because i am dumb or what. well i kinda of figure out that my motivational spirit i super weak. i always intend to give up halfway and not focus. i always hated myself for being lazy. and regret .
well now its holidays all i can only look forward to is JAMMING! got the role or rhythm guitarist for Rex band. pretty awesome but of course i would prefer playing lead guitar. haha.. lead is like the way to feel the guitar . everytime play power chord sure sianz one haha.. tml indra aiman mark and chek wye comming my house to jam the whole day.. hopefully we will work something out for saturday rehearsal.
my life aint perfect but i can't complain , i think i am fortunate enough to suffer this less . as i known people who needs it more than i do. i realize i always feel like i am in an illusion . i still don't know what makes me feel like its reality. its always abt dreams and nightmares.
with every hidden message there will always be a reason
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
ROCK BABY ROCK!!
omfg.. i am bloody high now.. because i am gonna be in rex's band playing guitar now.. wtf awesome rite? the band name is "Beyond Crimson Horizon" fucking shiok baby.. got to learn this 2 songs from underoath. "young and inspiring" and "when the sun sleeps" damn nice song when the sun sleeps.. got keyboard and all. next saturday our first jamming session.. and guess what ? the drummer that i found on the net. also listens to muse. fucking awesome .. the bassist in the band also do.. cant imagine we jam Stockholm syndrome ! hahaha..
omg omg exam saturday now still can dream abt jamming and all.. haven study somemore die die.. but i dun care. MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC is my blood.! :D shiok man.. i cannot wait till holidays.. start writing songs and all. currently i am earning money teaching music.. 60 per person a month. not bad income la.. hope by end of this year we have songs to play in gigs! yea! omg i love this feeling . when u feel u finally found a band . feels like i have found my love! I love it ! My love my passion my music.
with music i dun care abt anything else. just wanna rock rock rock! yea!!!
LETSSSS GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am insane yes i am
i am sick of doing other things instead of music.
prays hard
that our band will establish into the music industry with our very own album.
omg omg exam saturday now still can dream abt jamming and all.. haven study somemore die die.. but i dun care. MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC is my blood.! :D shiok man.. i cannot wait till holidays.. start writing songs and all. currently i am earning money teaching music.. 60 per person a month. not bad income la.. hope by end of this year we have songs to play in gigs! yea! omg i love this feeling . when u feel u finally found a band . feels like i have found my love! I love it ! My love my passion my music.
with music i dun care abt anything else. just wanna rock rock rock! yea!!!
LETSSSS GOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am insane yes i am
i am sick of doing other things instead of music.
prays hard
that our band will establish into the music industry with our very own album.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
shit
wtf am i doing here.. its 5am now and my exam is 10am later. wtf man.. i still got to study .. well npd was okat took some pics from my bro lol.. went out wif his mac crew.. well damn pai sei sia.. cause i like a stranger extra .. anyway had quite alot of fun duo haha.. i was like the whole day.. omg omg i never go singfest .. wth.. =( well the fireworks and air planes actually made my day! wohoo.. lepak wif my bro and his gang la.. bo bian hahaha... all my frens busy self studying sio..!! haha.. i going nuts because of the exams.. omg omg.. please please just let me pass and fast forward time for once :D haha.. and let the good time roll ..
anyway.. i still high over the happenings on baybeats! yeap yeap.. anyway i got a job opening 12 dollars per hour.. work as a teacher? teach play game haha.. cool eh? at nan hua sec eh.. dun play play haha.. but too bad one of the days is the first day of challangers.. anyway cant wait till camp and music camp! oh yea of course spending out time in the jamming room for days agian!!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Those notes you wrote me,
I've kept them all.
I've given alot of thought,
On how to write you back this fall,
With every single letter,
In every single word,
There will be a hidden message
About a boy that loves a girl,
Do you care if I, dont know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight?,
Or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off,
Pretend its all okay?
That there's someone out there who feels just like me...
There is.
I've kept them all.
I've given alot of thought,
On how to write you back this fall,
With every single letter,
In every single word,
There will be a hidden message
About a boy that loves a girl,
Do you care if I, dont know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight?,
Or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off,
Pretend its all okay?
That there's someone out there who feels just like me...
There is.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
MOSH!!!1
hell yea !!!!!!!!! WOWOWOWOWHOHOHOHO!!
hehehehe.. baybeats was freaking fucking awesome dudes! went with hashim,hakim ,rex and hakim's fren ! WTF it was the best night ever in my life.. i finally got to body surf! and on top of that. i did it five times!!! WOOOOO!!! fucking awesome la.. when u are above the crowd. well one of the five times i ended up landing on my upper back bone with a crack ouch! but i dun give a fuck haha.. still continue moshing and dancing.. hehe.. fucking awesome guys. AVA was awesome but the Swedish band was even more fucking awesome! hehe.. screamo!!!! had a really great time with you guys and the concert!! i always wanted to body surf. and its feels fucking awesome and randomly just make frens around to help each other body surf. awesome! hehe the whole year i been waiting for this fucking event and hell yea! hehe
well the last night i went to watch caracal but only went there to watch only cause i brought eunice and her fren there so cannot have the violent fun hehe. went to watch this thai movie ALONE . hashim came late so yea. waited for him so we had to watch the 11.35pm show. lepak the whole night.. only watched 1 band in baybeats. omg the show ALONE is damn shocking la.. haha i hate to hear the sudden sound and the stupid retard face of the ghost hehe.. well was quite a good show to scare people. quite a slack nite anyways cant compare to what happen just now.
omg !!! we actually dance , cheered, jeered, flew all over the place in the middle of the hundereds watching hehe.. i hope i was caught in the photo taken during the photo shooting of the band with the crowd. because i was kneeling on rex shoulders!! WOW!! fun!!! and being up there and motiving the crowd was awesome. and some people around me actually just hug me and enjoy the movie. great atmosphere . well at the end of the concert it looked like i was thrown in the river as i was drenched in perspiration. saw alot of similar faces all over the place . was awesome. great job guys!!!
hehehehe.. baybeats was freaking fucking awesome dudes! went with hashim,hakim ,rex and hakim's fren ! WTF it was the best night ever in my life.. i finally got to body surf! and on top of that. i did it five times!!! WOOOOO!!! fucking awesome la.. when u are above the crowd. well one of the five times i ended up landing on my upper back bone with a crack ouch! but i dun give a fuck haha.. still continue moshing and dancing.. hehe.. fucking awesome guys. AVA was awesome but the Swedish band was even more fucking awesome! hehe.. screamo!!!! had a really great time with you guys and the concert!! i always wanted to body surf. and its feels fucking awesome and randomly just make frens around to help each other body surf. awesome! hehe the whole year i been waiting for this fucking event and hell yea! hehe
well the last night i went to watch caracal but only went there to watch only cause i brought eunice and her fren there so cannot have the violent fun hehe. went to watch this thai movie ALONE . hashim came late so yea. waited for him so we had to watch the 11.35pm show. lepak the whole night.. only watched 1 band in baybeats. omg the show ALONE is damn shocking la.. haha i hate to hear the sudden sound and the stupid retard face of the ghost hehe.. well was quite a good show to scare people. quite a slack nite anyways cant compare to what happen just now.
omg !!! we actually dance , cheered, jeered, flew all over the place in the middle of the hundereds watching hehe.. i hope i was caught in the photo taken during the photo shooting of the band with the crowd. because i was kneeling on rex shoulders!! WOW!! fun!!! and being up there and motiving the crowd was awesome. and some people around me actually just hug me and enjoy the movie. great atmosphere . well at the end of the concert it looked like i was thrown in the river as i was drenched in perspiration. saw alot of similar faces all over the place . was awesome. great job guys!!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
school
in school now waiting for khai and klemon to finish their class to come for break lunch =) damn fucking bored now. sitting alone in the atrium . browsing through the net randomly . still quite a long day to go today. dunnoe if i should watch simpsons today or not. god i realize how much of a big spender i am lol.. shall continue blogging when i get home
Monday, July 30, 2007
long time comming
its been quite a long time since i last update.. what happen ? haha went to quite a lot of concerts these few days and oh yea just conducted my first bass lesson just now. paid 50 a month to teach once a week. not bad eh? =)
well last week had a pretty tough time. failed my bike prac and alot of things la. now at russ house lepaking haha.. how cool can it be? tml school start at 8am but i think i gonna go only at 9 am wif them haha.. i got a feeling we are gonna oversleep !! haha. i just can't wait till all my exams are over so i can just start jamming and enjoy the holidays. i feel that this comming holidays is gonna be a long and good one ! oh yea mat nor say wanna go batam then maybe go thailand? see how man haha..
next week is baybeats!! YEA !! hahaha.. and the following week singfest. cannot afford the ticket la $100 eh.. so gonna just crash la.. i think i going alot of concerts this year.. but its awesome man. concert ROCKS! =) yesterday just went to orchard wif shim and kel to watch a few bands. some good some okok. but the best part of yesterday is the dinner i had wif my family .. OMFG its awesome la.. buffet. i remembered once my ex telling me the place opposite far east , beside dfs the hotel there the first level the buffet there power. well only after 2 years than i go there wif my family to eat .. OMG the FOOD !! POWER!! got alot alot alot of food man.. like food heaven haha.. but its 50bucks person.. my dad pay all so yea.. not so heart pain la .
this comming week which is today? later go skool wtf haha.. study study!! haha then go np strings? tuesday school for only 2 hours then go car prac. dunnoe when wanna book my bike prac. tuesday gonna watch simpsons wif russ sop shim and dunnoe who else.. haha.. then comming friday gonna watch movie plus baybeats!! =) caracal will be there.. so yea gonna rock hard man.. lol..
haiz if i could just pause time and do whatever i want .. but well we will always grow old and grey. so live life to the fullest =)
well last week had a pretty tough time. failed my bike prac and alot of things la. now at russ house lepaking haha.. how cool can it be? tml school start at 8am but i think i gonna go only at 9 am wif them haha.. i got a feeling we are gonna oversleep !! haha. i just can't wait till all my exams are over so i can just start jamming and enjoy the holidays. i feel that this comming holidays is gonna be a long and good one ! oh yea mat nor say wanna go batam then maybe go thailand? see how man haha..
next week is baybeats!! YEA !! hahaha.. and the following week singfest. cannot afford the ticket la $100 eh.. so gonna just crash la.. i think i going alot of concerts this year.. but its awesome man. concert ROCKS! =) yesterday just went to orchard wif shim and kel to watch a few bands. some good some okok. but the best part of yesterday is the dinner i had wif my family .. OMFG its awesome la.. buffet. i remembered once my ex telling me the place opposite far east , beside dfs the hotel there the first level the buffet there power. well only after 2 years than i go there wif my family to eat .. OMG the FOOD !! POWER!! got alot alot alot of food man.. like food heaven haha.. but its 50bucks person.. my dad pay all so yea.. not so heart pain la .
this comming week which is today? later go skool wtf haha.. study study!! haha then go np strings? tuesday school for only 2 hours then go car prac. dunnoe when wanna book my bike prac. tuesday gonna watch simpsons wif russ sop shim and dunnoe who else.. haha.. then comming friday gonna watch movie plus baybeats!! =) caracal will be there.. so yea gonna rock hard man.. lol..
haiz if i could just pause time and do whatever i want .. but well we will always grow old and grey. so live life to the fullest =)
Friday, July 20, 2007
time is running out
i don't know why i had to sleep alot these few days. i wished i was like last time i can go on with a few days without sleep. maybe because of the stress is killing me. test comming and exams! omfg. and my this school of rock thing. band! anyway mark let me listen to this song yesterday and i find it damn nice. Your Guardian Angel by red jumpsuit apparatas .
sometimes its pretty irritating when i tried to strecth my vocal range and some people just like to make fun of it. my throat is fucking pain now because i aready like strain it and making fun of it is not gonna help. i got to sing more, but its just not happening because its being brought down with bad remarks. i don't even know if there is a slight improvement or not because its always the same three words "ming don't sing" being aready so stress up wif my fucking project and things are going worse because tml is the reharsal for zero to hero. our 2nd song isnt ready because the band can never be together to plan properly . if u don't realise i just hate it when people go in the jamming room where ever it is and just whack themsleves . i mean its like fucking noisy la.. the purpose is to play together wad. if play for awhile yur own its okay but all the way wasting time and not getting things done is fucking irritating.
if i had knew longer i would had join rex band to play guitar. because everyone there is aready that level so its more challanging to like improve. i mean the way i see it they are way more fucking serious about playing music. always just wanna improve and improve . not individual but as a band. recently i just asked hakim to handle whatever band i am in. cause its very stressful la to keep reminding all and decide what songs to play as a band. i just wanna perform in gigs someday. but haiz.. i just dun have this burning desire from my bandmates. there is always a fire inside me to just like fuck care everything and just play music. all that i ever wanted was a band that who rock together for life.
sometimes its pretty irritating when i tried to strecth my vocal range and some people just like to make fun of it. my throat is fucking pain now because i aready like strain it and making fun of it is not gonna help. i got to sing more, but its just not happening because its being brought down with bad remarks. i don't even know if there is a slight improvement or not because its always the same three words "ming don't sing" being aready so stress up wif my fucking project and things are going worse because tml is the reharsal for zero to hero. our 2nd song isnt ready because the band can never be together to plan properly . if u don't realise i just hate it when people go in the jamming room where ever it is and just whack themsleves . i mean its like fucking noisy la.. the purpose is to play together wad. if play for awhile yur own its okay but all the way wasting time and not getting things done is fucking irritating.
if i had knew longer i would had join rex band to play guitar. because everyone there is aready that level so its more challanging to like improve. i mean the way i see it they are way more fucking serious about playing music. always just wanna improve and improve . not individual but as a band. recently i just asked hakim to handle whatever band i am in. cause its very stressful la to keep reminding all and decide what songs to play as a band. i just wanna perform in gigs someday. but haiz.. i just dun have this burning desire from my bandmates. there is always a fire inside me to just like fuck care everything and just play music. all that i ever wanted was a band that who rock together for life.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
dying
today was a really really strange werid day. i think maybe because i watch romeo and juilet suddenly. i dunnoe why the whole day the movie picture was in my mind. yea a boy and girl who barely knew each other for less than 24 hours get married and dead within 2 days. how tragic can life be. the reason why they fell in love at first sight is because of the same vision they had abt love. its truly amazing how such beautiful the way they speak. the starting part when romeo have no idea who is juilet. the way he express his thoughts and how much he wants to love even there is no one yet he knew. well the ending of the story line is really u noe.. i just cannot believe it la in the both died. i kind of like the old ways of how they speak english. very beautiful.
this entire whole day i got this song stuck in my head, seize the day. learn abt 1/3 of the guitar solo.. omg i dunnoe what has got into me.. i am soo obssesed with the movie and music. i always picture myself like how romeo is in the movie at the starting. always gazing throught the sky and express the thoughts and feelings how beautiful life can be rather than hate. with the cousin and mates protecting each other.
how much i so want to give all i got
yet i speak in silence
let there be stars in the sky
when the sun kisses the earth
what i kept within me
shall soon one day be share and set free
the one any only thee i seek my answer
end this meaningless life of mine
and so shall thee show me colours
with a reason to go on
who is this person that will change my life?
the question shall not be heard but answered with a heart.
i for long await the time to come
this friday is my i&e school of rock orientation and i planning everything myself.. wtf ! =( i farking stress.. suffer in slience. let there be light for me to clear my troubles.
this entire whole day i got this song stuck in my head, seize the day. learn abt 1/3 of the guitar solo.. omg i dunnoe what has got into me.. i am soo obssesed with the movie and music. i always picture myself like how romeo is in the movie at the starting. always gazing throught the sky and express the thoughts and feelings how beautiful life can be rather than hate. with the cousin and mates protecting each other.
how much i so want to give all i got
yet i speak in silence
let there be stars in the sky
when the sun kisses the earth
what i kept within me
shall soon one day be share and set free
the one any only thee i seek my answer
end this meaningless life of mine
and so shall thee show me colours
with a reason to go on
who is this person that will change my life?
the question shall not be heard but answered with a heart.
i for long await the time to come
this friday is my i&e school of rock orientation and i planning everything myself.. wtf ! =( i farking stress.. suffer in slience. let there be light for me to clear my troubles.
Friday, July 13, 2007
woot a long day
hello! =) i just reached home and its like 1.30 am now.. just came back from watching HARRY POTTER!! hahahah.. was okok la but after all it was awesome watching wif klemon , shim ,russ and sop. i kept laughing my ass off the whole day i dunnoe why until i feel my head starting to ach cause of too much laughing. i know guys how petty i can be but whats ming without being petty? hahaha .. okok WTF am i doing.
had a long long day.. was fucking stress the night before thining of what to songs to play in school to perform just now. after all the trouble searching a for a vocalist.. guess who we got to sing for us? haha we manage to get Norman from the singapore idol guy to sing for us.. well everything was last min and i think we did great but i knew the band could had done better but sowie due to the errors i made haha.. but after all a good experience in the school atrim. after everything ended i played this game and won a CAR? hahha a toy car.. and the box is pretty big and i was like carrying it around . people thinking wtf is wrong with this guy haha..
well i know how fucking sick it is trying to ACT gay but its fun =) haha.. i bet a million yen kai is enjoying it very much.. but i guess he has been doing it all by himself all his life so he shy haha.. i am being insane this few days being fucking lame. but it works to cheer up alot. espcially going through a roller coaster ride twice in a row.. thats scary. it all thanks to the bros who has been there for me or else i would had regret every step i made,i have nothing to lose but them, because its worth fighting for - harry potter
i'm so glad i realise after a fucking long period of time a day when i finally woke up, i got fix my fucking self. i am screwed and wasted. i wish i can just scream out whatever i left in me. it always does feel better screaming to words and thoughts out. no wonder people who i used to known just fade away, or i choose to fade away because i just dun wanna withness another disaster . back to square 1 where isnt a strange place to me.
what i really want?
after all these while chasing my wildest dream trying to be someone who i ever wanted, even getting everything i wanted doing all the things i love to do . exprience the best time of my life and in the making. my dream has always been that one girl i see in my dream who is just there but i dunnoe who. because having everything in life and getting things i ever wanted , at the end of the day it would be fucking sad if i had no one to share it with. i can never forget the scars i drew on myself to remind me that my heart hurts more then the skin tearing open bleeding. i dun see love is a game to play because its something special in life that everyone derserves. for the family, frens and the soul mate.
so what i really want?
haha.. if u were to asked me who is that girl i always dream about and thought. i can only describe how is she like. but not who. i think its a kind of a once in a billion kind of the people that i know then i will find that true someone. because it doesnt mean liking someone means its the one u been looking for. i dun look for someone who likes me . the gal i see was like an angel, who is the perfection that will complete my life. can be trusted,not selfish,not dumb,think for the best,sweet,funny,supportive,patience,cool attitude. having all these quality will bring out the more of me. every sweat every blood every tear every move every breath , there is a reason worth fighting for. even with the whole world agianst me she would still be there. in life its always worth everything when you have someone to share it with and care. thats how beautiful love the way i see it.
having someone to walk along this path in life, looking stars ,walking on the beach bare feet, traveling around the world and music flowing with emotions and feelings . spending my whole life just to love =) thats the power . well singapore the way i see it cannot go far to enjoy life haha.. i will really pity my kids under the strong pressure they are gonna face next time. so lets get the fuck out of here and move to california or australia. become surfers or something. whatever they enjoy doing best . to me life.. i believe in always being positive and happy! no matter how hard i fall or suck. i have my whole life to improve and be a better man.
i guess haven been seeing things far enough, so maybe i have lost my focus on what matters to me. to all my bros. life aint nothing without some brotherhood love . haha sounds wrong. but yea i swear i will invite u to me future wedding dudes. even its overseas, i pay every single cent to get yur ass to my wedding haha!! even it takes to climb up a mountain . for my wedding , i want ROCK MUSIC , i want a couple dance floor , GOOD DJ , oh yea of course GOOD FOOD! , ALL MY BROS , FAMILY , somewhere that is not hot , like on a highland like the one in american pie the wedding, my band to perform a song specailly for the bride. drive in a fucking cool sports car ( depends how rich i am hahahaha) of course my wife ( my guitar) must be there to party too. everyone having a good time . best location i can think of? at the COAST OF MELBOURNE! like the pic in my frenster haha.. that is so fucking awesome. kiss the bride with the beautiful sunset behind. i can picture that in my mind. acutally i rather not having the sports car if it is there, i would fly a plane instead! fucking awesome haha.. oh yea of course dun count me on your wedding bros! haha.. i gonna making things alittle bit more different? hahaha. come on man wif me around and kai wanna act the stiff master? haha .. omg too much american pie. okok wtf i think its like i am fucking trying to descride this dream i ever wanted. nono its my destiny .
break the code in life
fate is not a bad thing
it couldnt be fated until it happened
destiny is fate
thats where u break the myth of fate
and make it YOUR DESTINY !
everything can be achieve
as long u believe =)
i talk too much haha
maybe i miss the feeling how it really was to be
a level higher in life
so that i can have the clear view of the world
to let people see how beautiful
things are rather then looking down
at their dirt under their feets
all i wanna do is RRRRROOOOOCCCCK!!!!
WOOHOO!!
okay adios
nits its fucking 2.30am now .. 1 hour to do this post so fucking long.
give peace a chance
where is the love?
had a long long day.. was fucking stress the night before thining of what to songs to play in school to perform just now. after all the trouble searching a for a vocalist.. guess who we got to sing for us? haha we manage to get Norman from the singapore idol guy to sing for us.. well everything was last min and i think we did great but i knew the band could had done better but sowie due to the errors i made haha.. but after all a good experience in the school atrim. after everything ended i played this game and won a CAR? hahha a toy car.. and the box is pretty big and i was like carrying it around . people thinking wtf is wrong with this guy haha..
well i know how fucking sick it is trying to ACT gay but its fun =) haha.. i bet a million yen kai is enjoying it very much.. but i guess he has been doing it all by himself all his life so he shy haha.. i am being insane this few days being fucking lame. but it works to cheer up alot. espcially going through a roller coaster ride twice in a row.. thats scary. it all thanks to the bros who has been there for me or else i would had regret every step i made,i have nothing to lose but them, because its worth fighting for - harry potter
i'm so glad i realise after a fucking long period of time a day when i finally woke up, i got fix my fucking self. i am screwed and wasted. i wish i can just scream out whatever i left in me. it always does feel better screaming to words and thoughts out. no wonder people who i used to known just fade away, or i choose to fade away because i just dun wanna withness another disaster . back to square 1 where isnt a strange place to me.
what i really want?
after all these while chasing my wildest dream trying to be someone who i ever wanted, even getting everything i wanted doing all the things i love to do . exprience the best time of my life and in the making. my dream has always been that one girl i see in my dream who is just there but i dunnoe who. because having everything in life and getting things i ever wanted , at the end of the day it would be fucking sad if i had no one to share it with. i can never forget the scars i drew on myself to remind me that my heart hurts more then the skin tearing open bleeding. i dun see love is a game to play because its something special in life that everyone derserves. for the family, frens and the soul mate.
so what i really want?
haha.. if u were to asked me who is that girl i always dream about and thought. i can only describe how is she like. but not who. i think its a kind of a once in a billion kind of the people that i know then i will find that true someone. because it doesnt mean liking someone means its the one u been looking for. i dun look for someone who likes me . the gal i see was like an angel, who is the perfection that will complete my life. can be trusted,not selfish,not dumb,think for the best,sweet,funny,supportive,patience,cool attitude. having all these quality will bring out the more of me. every sweat every blood every tear every move every breath , there is a reason worth fighting for. even with the whole world agianst me she would still be there. in life its always worth everything when you have someone to share it with and care. thats how beautiful love the way i see it.
having someone to walk along this path in life, looking stars ,walking on the beach bare feet, traveling around the world and music flowing with emotions and feelings . spending my whole life just to love =) thats the power . well singapore the way i see it cannot go far to enjoy life haha.. i will really pity my kids under the strong pressure they are gonna face next time. so lets get the fuck out of here and move to california or australia. become surfers or something. whatever they enjoy doing best . to me life.. i believe in always being positive and happy! no matter how hard i fall or suck. i have my whole life to improve and be a better man.
i guess haven been seeing things far enough, so maybe i have lost my focus on what matters to me. to all my bros. life aint nothing without some brotherhood love . haha sounds wrong. but yea i swear i will invite u to me future wedding dudes. even its overseas, i pay every single cent to get yur ass to my wedding haha!! even it takes to climb up a mountain . for my wedding , i want ROCK MUSIC , i want a couple dance floor , GOOD DJ , oh yea of course GOOD FOOD! , ALL MY BROS , FAMILY , somewhere that is not hot , like on a highland like the one in american pie the wedding, my band to perform a song specailly for the bride. drive in a fucking cool sports car ( depends how rich i am hahahaha) of course my wife ( my guitar) must be there to party too. everyone having a good time . best location i can think of? at the COAST OF MELBOURNE! like the pic in my frenster haha.. that is so fucking awesome. kiss the bride with the beautiful sunset behind. i can picture that in my mind. acutally i rather not having the sports car if it is there, i would fly a plane instead! fucking awesome haha.. oh yea of course dun count me on your wedding bros! haha.. i gonna making things alittle bit more different? hahaha. come on man wif me around and kai wanna act the stiff master? haha .. omg too much american pie. okok wtf i think its like i am fucking trying to descride this dream i ever wanted. nono its my destiny .
break the code in life
fate is not a bad thing
it couldnt be fated until it happened
destiny is fate
thats where u break the myth of fate
and make it YOUR DESTINY !
everything can be achieve
as long u believe =)
i talk too much haha
maybe i miss the feeling how it really was to be
a level higher in life
so that i can have the clear view of the world
to let people see how beautiful
things are rather then looking down
at their dirt under their feets
all i wanna do is RRRRROOOOOCCCCK!!!!
WOOHOO!!
okay adios
nits its fucking 2.30am now .. 1 hour to do this post so fucking long.
give peace a chance
where is the love?
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
had enough
now its the time to end it all.. enough of the wild thoughts and hopes. its time to spend time with my brothers! =) i vow to remain a loyal gay for 1 week from now on. too bad but i just love my bro hos haha .. because they are the tears and joy of my life for the past few months. together we will rock hard!
its tiring heading to somewhere with no direction and no future. but i see our brotherhood have the future. i see us even after our NS . we will be mates for life.
BROS BEFORE HOES! hahaha
best song to suit my situation?
SCARS!
sorry i got to move on with my own life
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'caues you came around
Why don't just go home
'Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is
[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
[Chorus]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I tear my open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tear my heart open, sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
its tiring heading to somewhere with no direction and no future. but i see our brotherhood have the future. i see us even after our NS . we will be mates for life.
BROS BEFORE HOES! hahaha
best song to suit my situation?
SCARS!
sorry i got to move on with my own life
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'caues you came around
Why don't just go home
'Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is
[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
[Chorus]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I tear my open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tear my heart open, sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
back on track finally!
okay its been a long time i updated.. not really long but yea.. been busy and all.. and maybe lazy? my laptop is fucked up again =( my mon drop my laptop on the floor from the chair.. heard the loud sound BANG! and i was like oohhh shitt =( now my com is nuts.. sometime okay some time go crazy.. then i cannot see the screen.
anyway this week so far so good.. i realize that i am actually back on track on alot of things . my studies especially. my car and bike license too. tml my bike prac . and going to gym again ! hehe.. i think i am too skinny.. and weak.
oh ya this thursday also must perform in school so yea.. my must prepare the songs. and this saturday also. np strings. and next week session i got to do a solo!! wth.. haha.. i think i can do it if i practice la.. just now was at the guitar shop.. omg i really cannot tahan sia.. see all the guitars.. so yea i wanna train alot on guitar until the highest level.. but i am a slow learner i think . maybe i din have the proper guide to learn thats why.. all these why i pick up the skills from the net? haha.. maybe a few from frens.
no matter how busy i am in life.. i always have the time to chill and alone.. so yea its good =) so i dun have to always be stress.. oh yea i got the force vomit tickets aready!! woohoo ! hahaha.. think gonna catch a movie this weekend. but no plans yet. so yea anyone interested??
they approve the song we compose for zero to hero aready. so we can go full gear ahead with the song.. power!
anyway this week so far so good.. i realize that i am actually back on track on alot of things . my studies especially. my car and bike license too. tml my bike prac . and going to gym again ! hehe.. i think i am too skinny.. and weak.
oh ya this thursday also must perform in school so yea.. my must prepare the songs. and this saturday also. np strings. and next week session i got to do a solo!! wth.. haha.. i think i can do it if i practice la.. just now was at the guitar shop.. omg i really cannot tahan sia.. see all the guitars.. so yea i wanna train alot on guitar until the highest level.. but i am a slow learner i think . maybe i din have the proper guide to learn thats why.. all these why i pick up the skills from the net? haha.. maybe a few from frens.
no matter how busy i am in life.. i always have the time to chill and alone.. so yea its good =) so i dun have to always be stress.. oh yea i got the force vomit tickets aready!! woohoo ! hahaha.. think gonna catch a movie this weekend. but no plans yet. so yea anyone interested??
they approve the song we compose for zero to hero aready. so we can go full gear ahead with the song.. power!
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