Whatever

yoyoyo!! been bloody long long time since i update... been busy busy wif alot of things.. many things have happen.. heard ppl talking behind my back and ya some tell me.. i heard that some ppl come into my blog reading and gossip behind my back.. who ever reading my blog.. please please please i publish my story to read.. not to gossip .. =) just better be careful wif my personal blog here.. cause i really hate ppl talking on my back!

so okay.. manay things happen.. one of the good news is that I have met Ellice !=) we talk on the phone for 3 nights in a row .. talk until 5 am.. the time when he father gets up.. lol.. we talk abt many things.. abt both of us.. what happen recently.. abt the past.. abt our problems or family.. and abt our future =) talking at nite is when everything comes out from my mouth.. and the best part is that when i say something that i shouldn't say.. sometimes we din pay attention.. too tired i guess... she finally knows abt my ture feelings for her and i am statisfied abt that alot... we were at a point when everything could just end between us.. then i said something that turn things completely back to we were.. and its just keep getting better =) but she was still uncomfortable the things were cause she said that if i could do this to her once.. i could do it twice.. feeling that i would betray her agian.. but doing it for the second time this to her.. i can just got and cut loose myself .. it took awhile for both of us to really settle down until things were clear agian.. it wasn't easy... now that we both are in love agian.. i really feel lucky and bless cause to get a second chance wasn't that easy to get.. one of the reason why i never gave up on her is because.. i truly love her alot.. she was all along in my heart and i could't keep lying to myself.. now that we are back together.. i feel as motivated as ever.. =)

Of how i got to met her was on wednesday 8th september .. i was going to change my ezlink card at bona vista.. i was talking to her on the phone on my way there.. she told me that hougang can also change. lol.. straight came to my mind that i wanted to go hougang.. cause its only 2 stops away from her house.. at first she told me that she wasn't prepared and din wan to meet.. but somehow i presuade her until she agrees to... i waited till her tution ends and went her house the park there and say on a bench and waited.. reminded me of forest gump lol... ya i was anxious to see her.. and there she stood by the steps.. she was shy to approach to me and stood there until i made my move towards her.. =) we started talking and walk around her estate.. i could hardly believe to see her in my eyes.. then we went to coffee bean to sit and talk.. that was when i look into her eyes and talk.. one of my memories that i never forget... her estate there was dangerous.. cause anytime her parents or brother can be passing by.. so we were both quite afraid to walk along the road ... she walk wif me till the bus stop.. which was far from her house.. than i sent her home walking back wif her =) and when she walk towards her house.. i look her till the last moment ... than i was dazing off .. but i was late to go home.. lol.. than i took taxi to city hall and took train.. veri lucky never got scolded and she also lucky her parents not at home .. so lucky... whew...

yesterday we went out to orchard to watch movie.. the terminal..the cinema was soo cold that i stared shivering entering the theather... i held her hand in the cinema and watch to moive... i wasn't really paying attention to the movie.. i was paying more attention looking at her.. my hands were much colder than hers but still we held on... the show lasted for 2.5 hours.. lol.. after the show we had little time left to spent.. so we quicky rush to hereens to take neoprint.. lol.. she told me to pose and i din noe much abt posing so i just look up or down and do something wif my hands.. lol.. well.. not too bad for the first time we took .. lol.. but it still will be kept as a memories as one of our veri first date together.. then i sent her home till her mrt station serangoon... i told her that she will never have to go home from orchard by her own anymore.. i will always be there to sent her back home safe and sound.. she brought me to the front of the train where u can see the train moving forward through the windows ... we just stood there and look in the window through illusion.. its was like a never ending journey.. than she had to change back to her skool uniform cause she told her parents she went to skool lol.. so i reminded her many times so that she wun forget.. and then she went off when i train came.. having the last look at her agian.. i spend exactly one hour from there to reach my house.. i travel miles and miles just to see her... it was all worth spending the time =)

that nite her mum called me to stay away from her and dun ever call her or contact her agian.. after she hang up the call.. i just sat on my chair and thought of ways to handle this situation.. i am willing to take wat is takes to go through this.. and i will never ever let go of her.. we will go through this together.. and one day.. we can be free from our parents... no matter wat happens .. i am not gonna let go of my love.. the love that we have now.. it shall last forever.. i really appriciate the love and care she had for me .. *thank you dear=)* we will hold on together to go through this endless journey in life.. for now..the future lay in our hands.. we create our future together .. =) do all the best in our studies and our career shall come next.. Love you ellice=)

Hey you ppl out there reading.. i hope u appriciate the information of my tale that i given... all the best in life yea? =) ROCK ON!!!

photo taken wif sony-e t630 !! kenny's hp.. not bad yea?? =) 

On my way home ... =) 

The student council Petrol GANG!! 

All the way to glory

haiz... yesterday told my family abt my results which really sucks.... its hard to tell them wat really happen to me during my examination period.. but i also need to be push to score better in my N levels.. cried the whole nite last nite... not just because they scold me or what.. all my sadness i had for the pass few weeks... everything happen just like that.. and now i lost everything.. my father took my computer away.. my handphone.. and i being force to study at home now.. so i hardly will be online aready... some how i need to cool myself down.. i just need to study all i can to do my very best in my n levels..

today just had my new chinese tution which jun wei introduced to me.. lol.. 4 hours!! okie la.. not so bad.. get to eat free mac donalds.. =) the teacher teach also quite fun.. they place to dead people stay one.. got her son super naughty.. make noise lol.. i can't study in quiet play for long.. thats why 4 hours was like nothing.. something to keep my mind going.. my chinese i did super badly for my prelims.. wondering how would i do for my n levels... my other subjects okie la.. my phyics improve alot and my accounts... the rest all okie okie la.. border line.. my english dunnoe why so sucky.. i really suck at expressing myself.. my paper one pull me down alot... paper 2 also very risky...

can't believe my family did a study timetable for me.. but i never follow =X .. i now just only came back ... so tired... besides all abt my studies...i been thinking lately abt ellice... wondering wat would happen.. waiting for answers.. most of the time i thought of happy thoughts that we had.. and feeling very bad abt losing it .. its entirely my fault that i cause this to happen between us.. i blame myself everyday of being foolish.. the reason why i fall for her is because of who she is.. nothing abt her can make me forget abt her... very special... lovely.. kind.. patience.. trustful..and faithful.. no matter how much i think abt it.. i can never rewind back in time.. of wat i lost.. now i just have to pick things up slowy agian...

MING!!! ALL THE WAY TO GLORY!!! GOGOGOGOGOOOOOOOO =)

Tired ....

just finish my keyboard lesson.. lol.. sooooooooooooooooo tired!!!! can die.. after swimming at jurong east ... i feel sooo sick!! running nose lol.. but i learn a song today!! so happy... right here waiting for you.. the whole song manage to play it after a few tries.. pratice makes perfect... my keyboard skills have been improving alot.. !!!=) i am one step closer to my dreams! =) just need to train my vocals now.. dunnoe how to learn or who can teach me.. cause my vocal really suck.. i dun believe that i was born not to sing!! i believe i can train my voice one day !! =)

There are times when i need to be strong

yesterday nite went out wif my class celebrate wei liang birthday.... lol.. go esplanade there walk around take photo then i play guitar at the empty aread there where the break dancers are.. lol.. sing song until so ps ps... =) then we walk walk then go marina bay eat steam boat.. hahahah eat until dun care.. eat lots lots of beef and chicken.... abt 2 giant plates i share wif one fren eat finish.. haha then go champange somemore lol... then photos also... hope i get a copy too... my hair veri weird.. just cut 2 days ago... haha.. just dun feel the same me.. =) got to bear wif it.. the sides are short.. i left my front growing.. wanna have tom delonge hair style .. where the front part cover the eyes.. so when play guitar on stage.. dunnoe to look at ppl and play .. hahaha. =) jkjk i should have my oringnality...

afiq bought the local band eletrico album...so damn bloody nice!!! hahaa,, reminds me the time when i go baybeats at esplanade.. super cool!!! the song i want you is super nice... =) they can go far... one day my dream is the be like that too.. but a bigger one..!! =) today going to jurong east there the swimming complex wif the big slides all that lol.. swim wif my class ppl... i veri tired.. but still go for the sake of them haha.. ho hwee overnight my house... we play game last nite.. until 4 am.. then we talk talk.. until i sleep =x haha.. its fun la.. now he still laying down on the matress on the floor sleeping.. too comfortable aready... well... last nite chat wif ellice on msn... i can't really explain clearly abt my feelings abt her for 2 weeks ago.. but now i am sure wif it... i feel veri bad and guitly for just leaving her like that 2 weeks ago... she was veri hurt by me... until now.. i still feel s0 guitly abt it... i dunnoe wat punnishment must i take to show that i acutally still care ... its never easy going back on track this way in life... but the main point is that.. it is the Track that leads me in life that my dreams are... and most of all i still love her alot... it has been that all along abt my feelings.. being force to forget abt her is a painful thing.. its like taking out a hook off my heart by just pulling it out... also i want show her the way in life should be... there are so many things.. i also learnt a few days ago.. that you will take wat it takes to show how much you love for gal.. so i must make my stand strong and clear now... from where i fall..

Living in this world if full of mysteries and puzzles... fixing and sloving it up pieces by pieces.. slowing you have the clear picture of wat we want... this world needs to be peaceful one day.. all mankind when one day there are no division among each other... everyone is equal.. lead by leaders and beliving in one reason.. that is when there is peace in the world.. regardless of race,religion or blood.. we will be the same... so respecting each other in this world today is the best to keep things peaceful=) understanding is even better...

I will make my comeback!

For the first time since the mid year.. i feel super motivated to do well in my n levels.. cause when you know that you have no choice but to take this path in life.. you got no fear of anything.. cause that is the only place you want to be.. even i fell down and hurt me and other ppl... the journey has to be continue.. there is no stopping in this world.. time cannot be control.. so every seconds and every breath counts... I have to make my stand sooner or later.. cause i know how much it will affect me through out my whole life.. I shall make my dreams come true one day.. Even when it is fate that i cannot make it.. ppl saying.. i dun care.. cause i created my destiny.. my way.. i need.. and i decide wat i want to have and i fight for it.. and when the time comes and i make it.. it is fated that i can make it after all.. no one knows wat fate u gonna get.. it always on your mind games.. you decide wat u want.. and you must fight for it! give 100% in everything to achieve it.. I will ever give up in my music.. cause i live wif it.. All the effort i put in it.. it was all worth it.. but still the better to come..

There are so many things need to be done... i lost everything recently.. its sad on how i lost it.. but there is only one thing that i lost which i cried for.. that only one thing has change many things in life in me... i never felt this love from anywhere before.. its just tragic on how things happen.. i cherish everymoment when i was wif her.. but now things has change... things aren't the same .. all i can do abt it now is to hope.. and my passion for fighting her is just like my passion for music.. cause of all the stars that had faded away in the sky.. she is the only hope star there left to reach.. for now i just let the time pass and see how the flow goes.. cause once i found someone like her.. i will never go out to find agian.. cause you will never get to find someone who you want to be wif and is willing to share both dreams together.. its only once in a million..

Everymorning when i wake up, its a brand new day to start with... my tale,my story,my life.. continues to live.. full of twisters in it.. screw up myself many times.. and ppl screwing me down back.. and one day i be the screw driver that either screw ppl up or down.. touch ppl lifes and make a difference for the better.. after my n levels.. i promise myself that i will start making music wif my band.. and slowy we will succed one day.. we have to work very hard for it.. and i would like to thank to all my friends who had been supporting us lately.. even we din did a great job... they still encourage us.. thanks for all the support.. one day when we make it.. i will never forget who support us.. i will remember =) wat matters now is we must make it up there first.. to be worldwide known.. many hard work.. my studies .. i am going to shift it to music.. so i do music study when i grow up... then we have many chances.. yea we build our dream together

The feeling of playing music is the only thing will control my emotions... I love this world.. even it has been bad things happening recently.. I will live wif it.. and live in this world till my last breath.. The world , the people , the music....

thinking back to the days i was feeling high! =) 

Finally a day wif no confusion!=)

haha today exams okie la.. can do do.. my phyics must pass one!! haha .. accounts got few questions dunnoe to do.. haha and one question hold 10 marks plus.. !!! wahh.. hopefully can pass.. i think this prelim was a easy one.. cause i never really study well.. lol.. yea.. now i got one main goal in life.. which i fought for.. =) Ming all the way!!

Found my true self =)

finally... this has ended! the thinking all that .. which cause me time damage for the past few days... yea.. i have to set my goal clear.. !!! lucky today history the paper came out the topic which i only studied =) haha... well.. i feel so bless...

Today went out to study wif jun hui,ho hwee,hui ling,jun wei , chee fatt and hannah... i really thankful to have them as frens... =) i guess that friends are important!! they want to see everyone of us happy =) today they comfort me... cause something seriously went wrong... i was kind of angry and abit sad.. ya noe.. the shit feeling comes back... and kim called me at night saying that i told everyone abt wat her sis said to me today... well.. i just wanna get this CLEAR! dun make up stories just like that... i have my friends to be wif.. dosen't mean i am restricted to go wif them.. i have my own freewill.. well i guess this is just some big misdunderstanding.. which i really really hate... aiya.. watever is it... I must still be strong... i was prepared for all this to happen.. shit always happens.. yea i agree!! lol.. alot of ppl keep asking me to patch up wif ellice.. but its like veri bhb ... i dunnoe how to..... but now i got this clear.. when i broke off on monday .. i was 95% sure that it wun work out.. and now its 100% =) haha.. the rate of things i see its going.. so shity .... friends are better of wif.. hahaha now got name for my friends so fun HJ!! haha

Finally i am so happy after 5 days of thinking... now can relec relec.. WOHOO!! =) the feeling of being single is good.. i miss it hahaha.. =) it i am to not to be single agian.. i got to make sure its got to be better than the feeling of being single... i relise that friends like those in the HJ group are true frens... =) had great time wif them... accopany me all along when i was in shit last few days.. thanks for everything =) now i am out of this shity world.. thanks for pulling me out of it.. and where all the truth comes up !!

Now i noe wat i must do.. =) shhshshsh those who know.. haha.. I MUST GET IT !! my destiny ... my life !! YEA>>> ROCK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darn.. really miss the times when i went to Mount Ophir last year.... It was great!!!=) Si cheng and me in the photo there lol... i think nothing really change in both of us in looks haha... first Time ever i felt i conquer a mountain... 4 days... i love sleeping in the tent at night in the jungle.. haha.. so cooling.. sleeping in my boxers... lol... then extremely dark at night.. wanna pee cannot walk to the place where to pee one.. haha anyhow aim.. =) haha... then at night always talk alot.... talk wif the sirs and other skool ppl... met alot of new ppl.. i really respect the rangers over there... they ROCK!! =) I Really Miss The Days We had fun !!! hope we can climb agian together after our exams! =) 

Confusion

Now is just only 1 day away from my prelims.. lol.. i only studied alittle.. well.. today i had a fear in me.. i dunnoe .. its just fear... i fear that my relationship would just affect me.. it has change me life... hard to describe it here.. wif just words.. i can never draw a clear picture of it... even now after talking to kimberly and ellice wif all my thoughts.. i still have a fear in me.. i dunnoe .. it seems strange... i talk to kimberly 2 days ago told her why i made my decision to go on wif her.. everything just came out all from me.. lol.. it was a moment that i ever wanted to have to express my emotions... b4 we talk on that day.. something happen at mac donalds.. lol.. dunnoe if i should type it here.. playing turth or dare wif my classmates .. and we 2 had to do something.. ya noe.. =)

anyway... i am not sure if i am doing the correct thing .. thats the fear i have in me... my life should be go on normal.. but sometimes this kind of things happen... got struck by love.. and i lose all my focus.. and i lose focus because i dun feel things are going rite... it always happen to me like this.. and i hate it... because i always jump to conclusion.. wat had happen to my thinking ? maybe i should let it go and thing will get better.. but that dosen't always work... so yea.. now having a relationship does makes me think more... i am so confuse now... there are so many things i am afraid of.. how can i face it? wat will i do? my mood will depend on how the flow goes... now my mood is like lifeless... listening to songs.. kept repeating.. until its kept in my head..

i hope i get things striaght as soon as possible... =)

one of the days where i was out wif the class.. took this pic wif kim =) abt 2 months ago..  

A new beginning

The revolution in my life .... Once again.. A rush of blood has change my world.. I hope it won't affect my studies.. My exams only next week!! LOL... Actually I am sad wad has happen... Even though sounds like I lost everything, I still have someone who is there all along.. Waiting for me.. Since I ever found out that she was there all along.. I never ever thought that even me going on a relationship wif another person.. She is still there waiting.. I truly appreciate it.. Last nite was one of my most worst nitemare.. A event that I never dreamt that would happen.. Now I just pushing all this sad moments one side of my life.. And live on wif life.. I can't be stuck forever... This morning.. I truly feel super sad.. flash back about the past wat I did wif ellice.. Everyone ask me why I feel so down and restless.. i almost cried... for what i have lost...

Now its time to change things... everybody's changing... and i dun feel the same... a new world order in my life... really boost up my moral after i went to celebrate hui ling's birthday just now.. i went home and did my homework.. for the first time this year.. i manage to control my moral .. mode to study.. and now all the things that hit me this morning .. immune to it now.. i guess that there are somethings in this world u can't ever change.. only u can change the way how u look at it.. all about how u set your mind to think... thats why i would really like to make my ending last nite related to avril lavinge- my happy ending... i dun want to end up getting shit.. now its just the begining... my life.. my pride.. my love..

Chill Out Mate!!! =) 

Smart Ass =)

MUAHAHHAhahahha.. finally got my internet back on!! so happy... life is now back to normal... =) i yesterday tried so many times to slove this shit.. then today try agian.. thanks to the hijackthis.. then got this stupid newdotnet programe.. the thing that block my internet...then i go and kill it.. hahaha..*clapclap* =) now my wallpaper okie aready.. no more spy!!! hahaha...

Well.. actually today wasn't really a good day even though had national day celebration in skool. had the tanglin idol performance today.. wif was soooooooooooooooo fucked up!! i dun blame the class ... i blame the PA SYSTEM!!!!! wahh.. totally a disaster... spoil the whole performance.. music is the key of the performance which they fuck it up... never let me test the instruments b4 the performance.. then last min bass cannot play.. wahh... then no bass aready no fun.. everyone is important... then my guitar make until soooooooo soft... wah... then ppl thought i k siao play one.. actually i was really really really really dissapointed... my class put in all the effort they had.. and this things fucked up.. the pa crew behind sleeping.. when the part to play the cd.. they still can laugh and talk... wat kind of ppl incharge were they.. one lesson learn today.. dun 100% trust any ppl incharge of the pa system .. 3 ppl infront the mixer!! doing nothing... OMG!! they think they so smart noe all this and that.. then ask them to put my instruments.. still can ask me where to put... lol... pa crew my ass... i think the sec 4 badge are still better pa crews.. no getting worse.. even wif better equipments.. its like monkeys using the tools for the first time if they were to do a great job....

Can't help it.. well... its all over.. got 3rd position... we gave all we got.. still dissapointed doh...nvm... perhaps on talent time i shall reperform agian.. see who is willigy to be in my leauge this time round... shall make it a special performance ever to be played.. and one thing i must be sure!! dun trust the pa crew.. i will get my own audio engineer to help me do the settings.. if they dun allow that.. i shall use my own equips.. must give the best of all of us!! yea.. i hope we can do it.. but remember!! PRELIMS aready sooooo near.. dun focus on this too much.. must study... =) haha...

Just now went to pizza hut eat wif shi lin,jun wei,kimberly and hui ling.. lol.. we were just showing how dissapointed we were.. but the mood was like celebration haha.. =) then we went to play bowling.. which i long time never play hahaha.. well i learn a new skill today how to bowl.. yea! then after that went to mc donalds.. see jun wei soooooo disgusting.. go drink toiled bowl water and drink my sailva plus kimberly's and huiling's!! WHAHAHAH SICKO!!! i wannt puke aready... then he eat the fries wif that mix also... yucks yucks yucks!! hahahha .... after seeing that i wanna puke aready haha... respect him man!! jun wei u rock!!! =)

Anyway.. so far my plans for now seems rather blur.. so many things happening.. i trying my best to type what happen... lol.. today aready this much.. dunnoe how to fill in the rest.. haha =) okie now its time to enjoy the internet access which i gain back!!! WOOOO HOOO!!!! =)

SuckA MOrning!!

wahh... suppose to go sentosa wif the class this morning.. then last min my parents dun allow.. kena scold like f... watever... prelims so near must study ya rite.. even i stayed at home today.. u think its gonna make me study? got piss off.. then play ps2 the whole morning.. afternoon i am gonna sleeeeep!! then night band practice in my room.. such a shit day.. the starting aready sucks.. i guess the ending would be a career ender.. i haven change my clothes since this morning.. aready pack everything up nice nice.. then kena jam at home!! wahh.... whaha... this shit i get everyday.... i am just drafting away from home.. gettin sick of it.. at least if i leave it for a moment.. i get to miss home.. but now its the opposite.. getting sick.. no matter wat i have at home.. it will never ease my pain.. such a pain in the ass sitting here ... wtf is wrong with me these days.. maybe i am in illusion of hell.. everything seems nothing to let me have free flow of life.. chokin when the rush of blood wants to get to my head..

another pic!! haha 

taken on last friday.. haha.. i look so cock!! haha