Ming thoughts,all caught up inside his mind. 

I Miss Her

lol.. sorry that recently i change my style of typing.. looks so simple and obvious... so i think i stick it the way i used to type=) today met my dear agian! i can't believe it.. she called me in the morning when i was in bed.within the next hour.. i am wif her.. at hougang there.. took 1 hour to reach there.. ate at mac donalds wif her for breadfast... after that i decided to bring to habourfront . cause she never been there... so we took train from hougang.. habourfront the shops were still close as we reach there around 9 plus in the morning... we walk around the shopping center and held each other hand.. i brought her to the view where we can see sentosa from habourfront.. the first thing she said was that next time we live in this place... lol.. i know the view is nice.. not until i told her that i heard from my dad that the place have many ppl died b4.. she got shock alittle and she stare blank into the view.. i hug her and we both enjoy the scenery together... lookin into the sea and sky...even she never wore her contacts.. she still stare blank into the view for quite along time.. i guess she must have miss seeing this kind of views=) should bring her to more places where have nice scenery... the whole morning happen so fast.. it was like a dream... after sending her home... i slept all the way back to clementi.. a long journey.. i relise that i am getting use to traveling this far... all that matters is that i can be wif her.. she seems lost somehow and i really want to make her find her track back in life .. anything just ask me k dear ? *hughug*

the whole morning just happen like that.. sooo fast.. thats why i now still could'nt believe i was wif her in the morning.. anyway.. i got my notes from jun wei and went home after that... played game wif my brother the whole day... i felt so bad to tell my dear to call me back later as i was playing half way wif my brother.. sorry dear... =( but later she came online.. but i still find talking to her is better.. i dunnoe why.. but somehow talking is better... maybe cause i am starting to miss her agian.. i really miss her.. the whole day i thought of her.. even in my dreams.. i studied alittle after playing game.. my accounts tml got tution also.. so its okie =) tml i would be going to my grandmother house .. i guess the whole family would be there.. its has been really a long long time since we met.. everyone was busy doing their own things... they must have left out in their mind that we have a big family.. i never seen my cousin for ages.. and i do miss talking to them lol.. and also see hows my grandmother doing.. i somehow felt that because i can't speak malay well.. i can't communicate wif my grandma well.. the rest of my cousins are closer to her than i do.. i wish i could be closer but i can never express myself ...

it also has been a very long time since i sat down and spend my own sweet time typing into my blog.. one more paper to go on monday.. tml got soccer game !! yea =) long time never play.. this comming friday i would be fasting aready.. my brother have a job for me from his fren.. hope i get it.. its at tanglin mall.. after my exams.. i vow to try my very best to meet my dear everyday.. cause i really do miss her easily.. i never had a long day wif her b4.. we both were always rushing.. so i guess after her exams.. i will bring her somewhere special.. =) hope that she has freedom to go home late cause i would still be fasting ... i am looking forward to my future.. my results must do well.. and spending time wif my dear... our dreams we shared... what hakim said was true.. a relationship is also when both help each other out to reach each other dreams.. and the most special thing wif me and ellice is that we have the same dream =) i find myself that i am really fortunate to have such a wonderful girlfriend like her... felt like i was the luckiest person on earth... even how we met or got to knew each other.. it has lots of unexpected things happening until we both came this far.. i guess that we are fated to get to know each other and been this far.. =) i really thank god for giving me this life to live and having such a wonderful girl who loves me .. i do anything to be wif her forever.. wat i live in this world today is where there are rules.. some rules are meant to be broken and some are important...

i never have thoughts like this for a long long time... i am listening to embrace album... the songs veri nice.. it calms my brain down... slow my pace in life.. i guess i have type more than enough for my entry lol.. all i want to say to my dear is that i love her !! *muacks*

Sense of freedom!! =)

today had my 2nd last paper for my n levels..
still got 1 more paper!!! ACCOUNTS!! hahaha
yea... i been waiting for this moment...
So far my n levels has been good la..
Sure to make it!! =)
Met ellice for the past 2 days...
I was truly happy whenever i get to meet her..
Today b4 my maths paper.. i went to play pool wif my classmates..
she message my hp saying that she misses me =)
ya.. i miss her too alot...
now i getting a little more free.. so i whenever i have the time
i will always want to see her...
to be wif her.... *hughug*
just now quite lame also wat happen..
i thot the gig was today.. the lime gig at ochard..
its suppose to be on 9 october.. and i thot today was 9 oct !! wahh
hahaha. afiq and jun wei wanted to kill me...
in the end we watch exosist... damn shocking.. until i close my ears..
soo loud.. until my hair stand... hahah.. okie la the show...
tml will be a new day.. and i miss my dear dear.. =(
okie la.. i also nothing much to say ..
nitez matez!!! =)

stress?

these few days..
feeling the pressure in my head...
from my family espcially..
my parents keep forcing me to study..
and makes me even more dun want to!!
when can i have my own free will to study?
not ever once they mention anything else expect to study when they see my face...
i understand they want to do well..
but all they do is nagging at me to study..
i feel so stress hearding their nags
it gets stuck in my head and its really distracting me...
my exams 2 more days... i know i can handle this...
my parents just over worried to much..
all they do is force me and worried
how much effect it gets on me?
i feel veri veri stress just now when i came home..
they kept naggin... see my face..
first things say go study..
wtf..................
they never believe in me that i studied
only my results could prove them wrong..
even them saying them..
they still keep pressuring me!!!!!!
=(
sometimes i dun even feel like studying anymore...
i never got stress studying before..
i am not stress abt my exams
they stress me..
why must they give me stress?
aiya....
watever is it..
i shall prove them wrong day..
yes i will!!

today ... veri tired.. nothing much to post either..actually quite alot of things happen.. lazy to type down and no time to.. all i just want to say is that i love ellice alot... *hughug* even she has been bad mood these few days i still bear wif it.. but after that she is okay wif it =) i want her to be happy.. and i been concern about the problems she had these few days... worries me sometimes.. and i think of her almost everytime.. even in my dreams.. i sleeptalk abt her... can't imagine if i were to ever to forget abt her... because of her.. the meaning of life has been much more meaningful..=) this week is the last week i can study for my exams.. thanks dear.. kk i gtg study liao.. 

I WILL SURVIVE!! 

I never let my dreams slip away! =)

been really busy this days studying i guess ? =) must really do well for my n levels.. than i go for my o levels next year !! can't wait till my n levels are over!! cause i wan freedom!! can go out anytime i want and can work! =) but then i must start fasting after my exams also.. aiya.. nvm.. i can bear the pain...

today watch dougeball *not sure spelling* wif ellice lol.. veri funny movie and short also lol... wanted to watch resident evil 2 but dun have.. lol... i suddenly feel time is fast and slow this days.. when i am in the train and bus traveling.. the time really goes veri slow... without my music.. forgot to bring my headphones today! i was like dying.. only can sleep... but when i was wif ellice .. time really fly damn fast... but it was good times doh =)

my father everyday keep pestering me to break off wif ellice.. but i dun give a damn.. lol.. when he talks abt it.. i ignore him and dun talk to him... he really THINKS TOO MUCH!!! say things until go so far... i guess he dosen't understand the kind of relationship i am having now... he thinks that i doing this for fun and its bad.. lucky.. my brother dosen't objects to it =) but he keeps distrubing me abt first love lol... sometimes it will really happens.. ya know... but i have faith in mine alot.. so i wan to prove him wrong! =)

i feel much more motivated than ever since being wif ellice =) thinking of her makes me wan to have the will of studying.. cause i will not let her down .. thank you dear =) hope i dun distract her studies also.. i wan her to do well and make her parents proud also ... her parents really cares abt her alot.. but somehow not in a correct way i can see... no matter how they treat you they still yur parents k ? =)

actually now i just making my time pass by faster at nite.. waiting for her to call me lol... =) hope i dun fall asleep than never answer... its been quite a while since we really talk on the phone.. hope that tonite shall be the nite agian ... okie .. so i end here ! =)

I will survive!!!

Back online! =)

today... weird day i can say... not feeling good today.. because of dunnoe how many things.. feeling sick this morning.. during PE i switch sides lol.. play hockey... than suddenly i felt like scoring own goal.. maybe i am really not feeling well.. ya.. than back to lesson aready no mood.. giddy than i headach then fell asleep.. i got woke up by ellice calling my hp this morning lol.. =) thank you dear.. *hughug* ya.. then she said her parents behaving veri weird doh.. than told her not to worry.. and i forgot to tell her something! ... nvm... i swear to god i will say it the next time i talk to her =)

then when i was having my last 2 periods maths.. suddenly my father sms me say that come home straight after skool.. got important thing to discuss wif me..i got shocked and started thinking of so many things... first thing came to my mind wad ellice.. thinking that they found out abt us or my hand phone bill... lol.. i got soooooooooooo worried and i got distracted for my 2 periods.. then went home.. first thing was my handphone bill.. exceed than my father took my hp away say next month den give back... then my mother say that i got bring girl come to our house.. than i straight away noe that my neighbour sabo !! wahh... feel like knn... but anyway.. it was also my stupidity to hold her hand walking around my house area.. thats wat my brother was laughing at me at.. my parents told me to break wif her.. then i show attitude face lol.. dun care and dun talk to them anymore.. they ask anything i dun wan to say.. whew!! -.-" my father keep saying who is that stupid gal want to be wif this useless guy also.. wahh.. than he say i cheap?!@! >=/ cannot feed parents aready want to hold gal hand.. lol.. i wanted to laugh but cannot ... aiyo.. my brother kept smiling at me.. cause he last time also kena... watever it is i not gonna break ! i dun care.. =) my father say until like find love to so easy like that. saying that girls only go for money.. aiyo.. i listen aready feel like .......!! then when my parents wanna go out.. i manage to get my hp back!! =) *smartsmart* then my father give mother.. then my mother disagree.. then i quickly run away.. lol.. =) and also i get my COMPUTER BACK!!! =) WOO HOO!!! ..... i whole day using my com to recover wat i lost...!

things are really getting back to normal at home for me.. even though i kena scolding.. i dun care.. =) haha... just hide from them.. till the correct time =)

cold day... =)

today quite fast the day ended ... slept 5 am last nite spend time talking wif ellice on the phone =) quite tired when i was in skool.. slept for 1 period lol... too tired to think... after that i still had extra energy to do the rest of my work.. tml my class more than have of them wun be comming to skool.. telling me not to come too...well. i will come to skool.. i need to study.. plus tml wun really be a hard day... i spend the past few days thinking how can i get into a JC wif my studies like this.. cause in order to be in a good JC must get10 points or below... i got my targets for next year.. but i have to start on my chinese from now .. cause i have a long way to go... my maths,accounts,science i plan to get grade 1 , humans grade 2-3,english 3-4,chinese 3-4.. which totals up to 11 points or more... hopefully my cca point can help me to pull it down even more... i haf to start working hard! but first i must trash my n levels.. to achieve 3 points ... my maths ,accounts and science.. i believe i can score that good... cause this 3 are the easiest to score... english must pass one... i wanna take music for o levels!!!

can't really believe i still can study at a slow rate now for my n levels.. but once my n levels over.. i have many many many things i will wanna do!! go to work,make a music album wif my band,spend more time wif my dear, get some skills like computer skills and many more... i still ppl alot of money.. wah... must really clear my debts.. wif not i never be a free man... and i got one very good news which is i found a replacement drummer over daniel!! whoo hoo!!finaly we can get back to rock n roll yea?mark , afiq and me.. the 3 main members for the time being.. we dream to break into music business and make it big... even everyday i see many musicians all over the place who can play much better than i can.. i still believe i have ways to break even into the main stream... need to practice wif my band alot after the exams.. mark training him up now.. hopefully we can do it.. making the album... =) last nite i talk to ellice.. and ask her to wrote a song abt us.. and make a song out of it =) i wanna go vocal training !! than can sing all i want! haha.. once i have my freedom.. i am gonna doing all i can do to have fun...!!

so okie.. now life has been better for me.. thanks to my dar ellice =) *hughug* love you... hopefully thats more to come in the future yea?

Me and my sweetheart ellice =)  

Whatever

yoyoyo!! been bloody long long time since i update... been busy busy wif alot of things.. many things have happen.. heard ppl talking behind my back and ya some tell me.. i heard that some ppl come into my blog reading and gossip behind my back.. who ever reading my blog.. please please please i publish my story to read.. not to gossip .. =) just better be careful wif my personal blog here.. cause i really hate ppl talking on my back!

so okay.. manay things happen.. one of the good news is that I have met Ellice !=) we talk on the phone for 3 nights in a row .. talk until 5 am.. the time when he father gets up.. lol.. we talk abt many things.. abt both of us.. what happen recently.. abt the past.. abt our problems or family.. and abt our future =) talking at nite is when everything comes out from my mouth.. and the best part is that when i say something that i shouldn't say.. sometimes we din pay attention.. too tired i guess... she finally knows abt my ture feelings for her and i am statisfied abt that alot... we were at a point when everything could just end between us.. then i said something that turn things completely back to we were.. and its just keep getting better =) but she was still uncomfortable the things were cause she said that if i could do this to her once.. i could do it twice.. feeling that i would betray her agian.. but doing it for the second time this to her.. i can just got and cut loose myself .. it took awhile for both of us to really settle down until things were clear agian.. it wasn't easy... now that we both are in love agian.. i really feel lucky and bless cause to get a second chance wasn't that easy to get.. one of the reason why i never gave up on her is because.. i truly love her alot.. she was all along in my heart and i could't keep lying to myself.. now that we are back together.. i feel as motivated as ever.. =)

Of how i got to met her was on wednesday 8th september .. i was going to change my ezlink card at bona vista.. i was talking to her on the phone on my way there.. she told me that hougang can also change. lol.. straight came to my mind that i wanted to go hougang.. cause its only 2 stops away from her house.. at first she told me that she wasn't prepared and din wan to meet.. but somehow i presuade her until she agrees to... i waited till her tution ends and went her house the park there and say on a bench and waited.. reminded me of forest gump lol... ya i was anxious to see her.. and there she stood by the steps.. she was shy to approach to me and stood there until i made my move towards her.. =) we started talking and walk around her estate.. i could hardly believe to see her in my eyes.. then we went to coffee bean to sit and talk.. that was when i look into her eyes and talk.. one of my memories that i never forget... her estate there was dangerous.. cause anytime her parents or brother can be passing by.. so we were both quite afraid to walk along the road ... she walk wif me till the bus stop.. which was far from her house.. than i sent her home walking back wif her =) and when she walk towards her house.. i look her till the last moment ... than i was dazing off .. but i was late to go home.. lol.. than i took taxi to city hall and took train.. veri lucky never got scolded and she also lucky her parents not at home .. so lucky... whew...

yesterday we went out to orchard to watch movie.. the terminal..the cinema was soo cold that i stared shivering entering the theather... i held her hand in the cinema and watch to moive... i wasn't really paying attention to the movie.. i was paying more attention looking at her.. my hands were much colder than hers but still we held on... the show lasted for 2.5 hours.. lol.. after the show we had little time left to spent.. so we quicky rush to hereens to take neoprint.. lol.. she told me to pose and i din noe much abt posing so i just look up or down and do something wif my hands.. lol.. well.. not too bad for the first time we took .. lol.. but it still will be kept as a memories as one of our veri first date together.. then i sent her home till her mrt station serangoon... i told her that she will never have to go home from orchard by her own anymore.. i will always be there to sent her back home safe and sound.. she brought me to the front of the train where u can see the train moving forward through the windows ... we just stood there and look in the window through illusion.. its was like a never ending journey.. than she had to change back to her skool uniform cause she told her parents she went to skool lol.. so i reminded her many times so that she wun forget.. and then she went off when i train came.. having the last look at her agian.. i spend exactly one hour from there to reach my house.. i travel miles and miles just to see her... it was all worth spending the time =)

that nite her mum called me to stay away from her and dun ever call her or contact her agian.. after she hang up the call.. i just sat on my chair and thought of ways to handle this situation.. i am willing to take wat is takes to go through this.. and i will never ever let go of her.. we will go through this together.. and one day.. we can be free from our parents... no matter wat happens .. i am not gonna let go of my love.. the love that we have now.. it shall last forever.. i really appriciate the love and care she had for me .. *thank you dear=)* we will hold on together to go through this endless journey in life.. for now..the future lay in our hands.. we create our future together .. =) do all the best in our studies and our career shall come next.. Love you ellice=)

Hey you ppl out there reading.. i hope u appriciate the information of my tale that i given... all the best in life yea? =) ROCK ON!!!

photo taken wif sony-e t630 !! kenny's hp.. not bad yea?? =) 

On my way home ... =) 

The student council Petrol GANG!! 

All the way to glory

haiz... yesterday told my family abt my results which really sucks.... its hard to tell them wat really happen to me during my examination period.. but i also need to be push to score better in my N levels.. cried the whole nite last nite... not just because they scold me or what.. all my sadness i had for the pass few weeks... everything happen just like that.. and now i lost everything.. my father took my computer away.. my handphone.. and i being force to study at home now.. so i hardly will be online aready... some how i need to cool myself down.. i just need to study all i can to do my very best in my n levels..

today just had my new chinese tution which jun wei introduced to me.. lol.. 4 hours!! okie la.. not so bad.. get to eat free mac donalds.. =) the teacher teach also quite fun.. they place to dead people stay one.. got her son super naughty.. make noise lol.. i can't study in quiet play for long.. thats why 4 hours was like nothing.. something to keep my mind going.. my chinese i did super badly for my prelims.. wondering how would i do for my n levels... my other subjects okie la.. my phyics improve alot and my accounts... the rest all okie okie la.. border line.. my english dunnoe why so sucky.. i really suck at expressing myself.. my paper one pull me down alot... paper 2 also very risky...

can't believe my family did a study timetable for me.. but i never follow =X .. i now just only came back ... so tired... besides all abt my studies...i been thinking lately abt ellice... wondering wat would happen.. waiting for answers.. most of the time i thought of happy thoughts that we had.. and feeling very bad abt losing it .. its entirely my fault that i cause this to happen between us.. i blame myself everyday of being foolish.. the reason why i fall for her is because of who she is.. nothing abt her can make me forget abt her... very special... lovely.. kind.. patience.. trustful..and faithful.. no matter how much i think abt it.. i can never rewind back in time.. of wat i lost.. now i just have to pick things up slowy agian...

MING!!! ALL THE WAY TO GLORY!!! GOGOGOGOGOOOOOOOO =)

Tired ....

just finish my keyboard lesson.. lol.. sooooooooooooooooo tired!!!! can die.. after swimming at jurong east ... i feel sooo sick!! running nose lol.. but i learn a song today!! so happy... right here waiting for you.. the whole song manage to play it after a few tries.. pratice makes perfect... my keyboard skills have been improving alot.. !!!=) i am one step closer to my dreams! =) just need to train my vocals now.. dunnoe how to learn or who can teach me.. cause my vocal really suck.. i dun believe that i was born not to sing!! i believe i can train my voice one day !! =)

There are times when i need to be strong

yesterday nite went out wif my class celebrate wei liang birthday.... lol.. go esplanade there walk around take photo then i play guitar at the empty aread there where the break dancers are.. lol.. sing song until so ps ps... =) then we walk walk then go marina bay eat steam boat.. hahahah eat until dun care.. eat lots lots of beef and chicken.... abt 2 giant plates i share wif one fren eat finish.. haha then go champange somemore lol... then photos also... hope i get a copy too... my hair veri weird.. just cut 2 days ago... haha.. just dun feel the same me.. =) got to bear wif it.. the sides are short.. i left my front growing.. wanna have tom delonge hair style .. where the front part cover the eyes.. so when play guitar on stage.. dunnoe to look at ppl and play .. hahaha. =) jkjk i should have my oringnality...

afiq bought the local band eletrico album...so damn bloody nice!!! hahaa,, reminds me the time when i go baybeats at esplanade.. super cool!!! the song i want you is super nice... =) they can go far... one day my dream is the be like that too.. but a bigger one..!! =) today going to jurong east there the swimming complex wif the big slides all that lol.. swim wif my class ppl... i veri tired.. but still go for the sake of them haha.. ho hwee overnight my house... we play game last nite.. until 4 am.. then we talk talk.. until i sleep =x haha.. its fun la.. now he still laying down on the matress on the floor sleeping.. too comfortable aready... well... last nite chat wif ellice on msn... i can't really explain clearly abt my feelings abt her for 2 weeks ago.. but now i am sure wif it... i feel veri bad and guitly for just leaving her like that 2 weeks ago... she was veri hurt by me... until now.. i still feel s0 guitly abt it... i dunnoe wat punnishment must i take to show that i acutally still care ... its never easy going back on track this way in life... but the main point is that.. it is the Track that leads me in life that my dreams are... and most of all i still love her alot... it has been that all along abt my feelings.. being force to forget abt her is a painful thing.. its like taking out a hook off my heart by just pulling it out... also i want show her the way in life should be... there are so many things.. i also learnt a few days ago.. that you will take wat it takes to show how much you love for gal.. so i must make my stand strong and clear now... from where i fall..

Living in this world if full of mysteries and puzzles... fixing and sloving it up pieces by pieces.. slowing you have the clear picture of wat we want... this world needs to be peaceful one day.. all mankind when one day there are no division among each other... everyone is equal.. lead by leaders and beliving in one reason.. that is when there is peace in the world.. regardless of race,religion or blood.. we will be the same... so respecting each other in this world today is the best to keep things peaceful=) understanding is even better...

I will make my comeback!

For the first time since the mid year.. i feel super motivated to do well in my n levels.. cause when you know that you have no choice but to take this path in life.. you got no fear of anything.. cause that is the only place you want to be.. even i fell down and hurt me and other ppl... the journey has to be continue.. there is no stopping in this world.. time cannot be control.. so every seconds and every breath counts... I have to make my stand sooner or later.. cause i know how much it will affect me through out my whole life.. I shall make my dreams come true one day.. Even when it is fate that i cannot make it.. ppl saying.. i dun care.. cause i created my destiny.. my way.. i need.. and i decide wat i want to have and i fight for it.. and when the time comes and i make it.. it is fated that i can make it after all.. no one knows wat fate u gonna get.. it always on your mind games.. you decide wat u want.. and you must fight for it! give 100% in everything to achieve it.. I will ever give up in my music.. cause i live wif it.. All the effort i put in it.. it was all worth it.. but still the better to come..

There are so many things need to be done... i lost everything recently.. its sad on how i lost it.. but there is only one thing that i lost which i cried for.. that only one thing has change many things in life in me... i never felt this love from anywhere before.. its just tragic on how things happen.. i cherish everymoment when i was wif her.. but now things has change... things aren't the same .. all i can do abt it now is to hope.. and my passion for fighting her is just like my passion for music.. cause of all the stars that had faded away in the sky.. she is the only hope star there left to reach.. for now i just let the time pass and see how the flow goes.. cause once i found someone like her.. i will never go out to find agian.. cause you will never get to find someone who you want to be wif and is willing to share both dreams together.. its only once in a million..

Everymorning when i wake up, its a brand new day to start with... my tale,my story,my life.. continues to live.. full of twisters in it.. screw up myself many times.. and ppl screwing me down back.. and one day i be the screw driver that either screw ppl up or down.. touch ppl lifes and make a difference for the better.. after my n levels.. i promise myself that i will start making music wif my band.. and slowy we will succed one day.. we have to work very hard for it.. and i would like to thank to all my friends who had been supporting us lately.. even we din did a great job... they still encourage us.. thanks for all the support.. one day when we make it.. i will never forget who support us.. i will remember =) wat matters now is we must make it up there first.. to be worldwide known.. many hard work.. my studies .. i am going to shift it to music.. so i do music study when i grow up... then we have many chances.. yea we build our dream together

The feeling of playing music is the only thing will control my emotions... I love this world.. even it has been bad things happening recently.. I will live wif it.. and live in this world till my last breath.. The world , the people , the music....

thinking back to the days i was feeling high! =) 

Finally a day wif no confusion!=)

haha today exams okie la.. can do do.. my phyics must pass one!! haha .. accounts got few questions dunnoe to do.. haha and one question hold 10 marks plus.. !!! wahh.. hopefully can pass.. i think this prelim was a easy one.. cause i never really study well.. lol.. yea.. now i got one main goal in life.. which i fought for.. =) Ming all the way!!