Confusion

Now is just only 1 day away from my prelims.. lol.. i only studied alittle.. well.. today i had a fear in me.. i dunnoe .. its just fear... i fear that my relationship would just affect me.. it has change me life... hard to describe it here.. wif just words.. i can never draw a clear picture of it... even now after talking to kimberly and ellice wif all my thoughts.. i still have a fear in me.. i dunnoe .. it seems strange... i talk to kimberly 2 days ago told her why i made my decision to go on wif her.. everything just came out all from me.. lol.. it was a moment that i ever wanted to have to express my emotions... b4 we talk on that day.. something happen at mac donalds.. lol.. dunnoe if i should type it here.. playing turth or dare wif my classmates .. and we 2 had to do something.. ya noe.. =)

anyway... i am not sure if i am doing the correct thing .. thats the fear i have in me... my life should be go on normal.. but sometimes this kind of things happen... got struck by love.. and i lose all my focus.. and i lose focus because i dun feel things are going rite... it always happen to me like this.. and i hate it... because i always jump to conclusion.. wat had happen to my thinking ? maybe i should let it go and thing will get better.. but that dosen't always work... so yea.. now having a relationship does makes me think more... i am so confuse now... there are so many things i am afraid of.. how can i face it? wat will i do? my mood will depend on how the flow goes... now my mood is like lifeless... listening to songs.. kept repeating.. until its kept in my head..

i hope i get things striaght as soon as possible... =)

one of the days where i was out wif the class.. took this pic wif kim =) abt 2 months ago..  

A new beginning

The revolution in my life .... Once again.. A rush of blood has change my world.. I hope it won't affect my studies.. My exams only next week!! LOL... Actually I am sad wad has happen... Even though sounds like I lost everything, I still have someone who is there all along.. Waiting for me.. Since I ever found out that she was there all along.. I never ever thought that even me going on a relationship wif another person.. She is still there waiting.. I truly appreciate it.. Last nite was one of my most worst nitemare.. A event that I never dreamt that would happen.. Now I just pushing all this sad moments one side of my life.. And live on wif life.. I can't be stuck forever... This morning.. I truly feel super sad.. flash back about the past wat I did wif ellice.. Everyone ask me why I feel so down and restless.. i almost cried... for what i have lost...

Now its time to change things... everybody's changing... and i dun feel the same... a new world order in my life... really boost up my moral after i went to celebrate hui ling's birthday just now.. i went home and did my homework.. for the first time this year.. i manage to control my moral .. mode to study.. and now all the things that hit me this morning .. immune to it now.. i guess that there are somethings in this world u can't ever change.. only u can change the way how u look at it.. all about how u set your mind to think... thats why i would really like to make my ending last nite related to avril lavinge- my happy ending... i dun want to end up getting shit.. now its just the begining... my life.. my pride.. my love..