badly hurt

today has been one of my most ........ weird day.. things are weird now.. i dun wanna say anymore.. let me free from my worries.. and enjoy what i have ... i want things to happen between us but i feel that it takes 2 hands to clap.. please tell me that this is me being too worried and not true that you dont want me anymore ...

warning...

today i had trouble waking up.. was really really tired.. lol.. i fell asleep half way chatting on my com . yesterday was a better day i guess? went to school and started wif practicals and then break then end my day wif programing test which i think i screwed up haha.. after that went to the library oh yea to get everyone write the card .. well all the effort was paid off.. after collecting every cards.. thank you guys for writing the card even if you really don't know what to write.. mel was touched by the cards and i am glad she is.. went to KAP in the end to eat macs!! haha.. omg i ate so little la.. dunnoe why but got like no mood to eat.. send mel back home till her busstop and i went home.. my dad was calling me non stop asking where am i lol.. i kept saying i was on the bus.. reaching.. for 1 hour.. well my parents still treats me like a small a little boy still..

anyway things are getting back to normal.. and i am so glad things are like falling into place neatly after since a long horrible week.. let time heal things ..things may sound weird between us now but it doesnt matter as long i know you are happy =)
this sunday gonna jam!!!omg its like been 2 weeks never jam =( so yea yea yeayea.. this saturday going kayaking at kallang!! omg i miss kayaking alot.. reminds me of my old ncc days.. haha.. i had great memories being in ncc.. somehow i think ncc build my confidence alot when i was younger.. well the best part was guiding the juniors.. i like teaching somehow.. i dunnoe why . it just feels good that u teach someone something and the person learns from you.. maybe i might wanna be a teacher someday.. who knows =)

life is like a rollercoaster - ronan keatings

everyone cares

ac milian are the champions!!! hahaha liverpool u just suck so bad.. =)
today start my day quite smoothly.. my dad sent me to school and was talking to me about buying a new guitar amp... we will always have our own talk between father and son... its just amazing to have a dad like him.. just that i dun dare to show how much i do appriciate for everything he done for me.. i can feel how much he suffered last time to actualy bring up this family.. there is nothing in this world can i ever repay him back to whats he has done.. even when he yell and nags at me.. after awhile he will always come back to me and like u noe pity me.. no one can ever will replace my dad =)

start school wif DEL practical.. it was quite easy and i ended early but i stayed wif the rest and teach them so we can go and have lunch together.. actually what was on my mind all these while since yesterday was thiking how is mel doing... and she is like so down because her crush is mad at her for getting that gas agian... the fact is that everyone is mad for her buying that and use it to escape from trouble.. friends are not blind or deaf... they are all mad because they do care for you..

yesterday i had a guys talk with a few of them.. they were like ming you got to stop her from doing that .. its like she is killing herself with it... and there is no way you can escape yur fate in trouble.. life is always challange and you have to face it no matter what.. if you fail to take the challange .. you fail life.. your life is destroyed.. i dun want that to happen to her.. everyone doesnt want that to happen either...

now i will just still go on being there for her
so that she doesnt to have to fall so hard

life is like a box of chocolates
you never know what you gonna get..



the story of forest gump
the movie ROCKS!!!!!!!!!! =)
i like this picture.. its so cute

a sad story

my memories i recalled them clearly.. what happen to me recently had made me look back so much.. and realise how i miss my ex.. i spend the whole night thinking of the sweet memories.. because i am who i am now because someone changed my life. it has keep deep inside my heart all these while 3 years and counting... i couldnt help to control my emotions but to just to keep back flashing my sweet memories i had... to be honest.. i never regret my memories.. it will always be keept as a part of my life about how a sweet fairy tale journey between 2 person. If u had watch the show A Walk to Remember.. its almost exactly what happened to me.. i'll always remember how you held me and tell me that everything is alright . the angel of my life just walk into my life and left me a better person. like she will always said " don't be sad because it ended , be glad because it happened " yes its true i am sooo glad it happen as a part of my life to be in love so deeply...

mel has been thinking alot about her beautiful memories too.. but dont know what she is thinking exactly right now.. i am just dead worried abt her right now.. hope everything is alright.. i just cant bear to see her fall on her feet.. and i promise i never let her fall.. but tonight is something that i cant do anything.. she told me that we should be frens.. cause she din wan things to be too complicated and how much she still thinks abt her crush.. i guess its similar to what i have type above.. but well.. to me it will always be kept a sweet memory to remember..

i know that u dont wan to hurt me
but i rather let myself get hurt
because all i wanna see is that smile on your face
telling me that everything is okay
we have been close alot of times
till i can feel your heartbeat
i always wanted to tell you how much i love you
but i dint dare to cause
i am scared u will leave me

wat a strange world,
we may be very close and show love
but the very fact is that
we are not together.

mel... you can never run away from reality
but you can make dreams into reality
slowly it takes time
i seriously had fun wif you alot
even you hurt me or ignore me
stop hurting yurself.. i beg
its pains me alot seeing you like this
be strong and face reality
and you dont have to be on your own to do this
have FAITH!
isnt that what you believe in?

i see something special in you mel..
and i know it by looking into your eyes
you deserve to be happier..
if it takes me to give up even..
i will rather u be happier..
just dont forget abt my feelings

you are the light of my life
without you i am lost
you never fail to make me smile
even when u hit me
you will always be kept in my heart
where i feel you always

i love you always....


Love is patient, love is kind.
Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud.
Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not become angry easily.
Love does not remember wrongs done against it.
Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails

sometimes i'll just hold my breath
just to feel your heartbeat

blured day

omg i realise how much i have learn from all my modules.. thank god my lecturer kind enough to teach =) well it just felt good to be studying agian and doing my work.. glad i am back on track .. it just felt good u noe to be on track studying and all.. whew...

anyway yesterday was quite a long day.. i aready blog half of it.. till in the library studying.. then hamster came also in the end watch movie jaws lol.. super old school la.. only watch it not even half way.. later the rest of them decided to go eat dinner. but beatrie and mel din want to go.. they wanted to go home.. guess what mel almost got banged by a car la.. she lost control of her balance and she is just 1 step away steping on the road and get bang.. thank god my reflects was still in touch to pull her back.. haiz... its damn scary ... both of them obviously werent okay yesteday... sent hamster back home and reach home around 11 plus.. omg i had no food to eat at home la.. in the end ate some donuts only lol.. had abit of talk wif her yesterday by messaging.. well she needs time and space to get straight.. think i should give her the time and space la.. or else it would be worse.. there is nothing i can do but to just wait now... and its not that easy than i thought..

damn...

The drugs don't work

this song goes out to those drug addicts

The Drugs Don't Work

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

And I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

But I know I'm on a losing streak
'Cause I passed down my old street
And if you wanna show, then just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

But if you wanna show, just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

I'm never going down, I'm never coming down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
I'm never coming down, I'm never going down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more



this is a very sad song sang by a man who is now dead because of drugs.. how life can be unpredictable sometimes..

in the school library studying for my test this comming thursday.. my shoulder hurts like hell i dunnoe why.. think i accidentally fell down and land hard thats why.. and now its irritating me the pain!! =( anyways i went to tampines just now at st hilda's primary school to teach primary 3 kids lego robotics.. omg they are sooooo CUTE!! haha.. they all just look soo happy and amaze with the wonders of robot.. and its so cute the way they address me haha.. me MING! wth hahaha.. you noe primary school must like greet and thank the teacher.. but i love it when they say thank you.. cause i was at the back of the class doing the computer then they were at the front.. the actually turn back to face me and say Thank you mr ming , may god bless you... omg it just felt soo nice la =) small kids who are actually 10 years younger than me... haha... it was a great exprience at the same time tiring.. i miss working =( alot.. i need to work to have a source of income.. which makes me want to start a business even more.. my group are all behind me supporting to start the business.. so yea i hope i can make the most out of it...

after teaching i went to simei eastpoint to find beatrice.. she was in a saloon dunnoe doing what to her hair with the slightest difference i can see haha.. waste time only hahaha.. after that go eat bk and came back school.. i was sleeping in the train really super tired dun know why.. i miss my class today to have my project meeting .. got so many things to revise now.. my common test are like next 2 weeks and this week aready got programming test.. haiz... well i bought a bunch of blank cards just now for the sake of writing whatever i want when i am bored haha.. how bored life can be..

i shall get back studying ...

what a fuckin day

today had quite alot of things happen. i mean like i waitied for the entire whole day of school to end because i had to do something. yesterday i went to m square to buy a card and write it to my hamster. so yea i spend today .. the entire whole day figuring out what to write down about my feelings. it was quite a risky thing to do i know but guess that its better that she at least knows how much i went through and thought abt her. it was quite a long story by the way how i wrote it in the card. starting from the very first moment i felt for her and how much i cared. and also gave her a hamtaro stuff toy. at first she seem so happy and overwhelm of what i gave her. i was like okay.. glad la that she likes it but still deeply i am waiting for an answer. after that we went to watch movie at the library then she got soooo high and suddenly got weak after taking some dangerous stuff. which i totally object to .. it really made her so weak that she can even keep her head up straight. its quite worrying for me la to see her like that.. after that had dinner wif everyone at mad jack and i send her back to school bus stop where her dad picked her up and i went back home.

i recieve a message from her slighty awhile after reaching home .. saything that she hope we stil could be friends still first as she still likes hs more .. at the same also like me and wish we could be together but she has to let her feeling of hs run off first.. so yea i mean like i kinda of expected that to happen . thats why i havent been so confident in winning her whole heart yet. i guess it really does takes time to get this kind of things to improve. well i hope nothing changes yet between us yet as i feel that i should treat her the same i did and always did till she makes the decision.. this kind of thing i understand that it takes alot of time to make a decision cause its really something u have to commit and cherish alot

my greatest fear has always been failing in love, and i know how much it hurts to be rejected. would she care if i dont know what to say because i always believe that is someone out there who feels just like me and thats life ..

if you are reading this hamster
don't feel bad about me
its okay what you think about me
i wont try to argue or hold it against
there will always be a reason
and well i guess this is just growing up

what a strange day

today was quite a strange day.... i met a stranger out of no where.. it was this nice old man in his 60s 70s? he was hey... and i was like huh? then he told me to come and have a chat wif him.. i was like okay? anyway beatrice was late! haha.. so why not i have a chat.. he has this very nice way of speaking .. i dunnoe its just rare.. maybe this is the kind of stranger u meet once in yut life.. he really hit me when he said he knows what i am by just looking at my eyes and facial expression.. he said this.. son you are troubled i know.. but you are a nice person or else you wouldnt have stop and just walk alot.. well he was saying he is a lover of LIFE! omg when he said that it really brighten ups my day.. its really amazing how a stranger tell u this.. and he said this.. son.. you missing something in life.. someone who understands you and be your companion.. it really struck my really really hard when he said that.. i mean its like what he said does makes sense and true. i have always been so emo abt my own self for quite sometime.. when ever i am alone i will just go to this emo stage where i am in my own world.. and it just kills me being bored and everything. but the thing is that i am like really SOOO GLAD that such person existed a stranger to have a nice chat in the streets. he said that there is something is me and i have a very nice smile.. of course i smiled back at him.. and when i was about to leave him.. he almost cried .. omg omg... he said this.. it pains me when you go away because i am man of love. i felt like crying too.. how i wish that people these days in singapore are more open to talk.. everybody is busy with their own stuff and dun care whats happening around them.. thats why i always wanted to move to australia.. the people there are just like him.. u can really chat wif anybody under the sun .. its very social life.. no wonder the people there are sooo much more passionate and motivated.. for things like this can change the world..

finally

finally my np strings concert is over =) and now i have much more free time.. i have been thinking alot really.. yesterday... overnite at school so that today the concert can like wake up early =)yesterday.... oh yea played squash and followed beatrice back to her school which is at tanjong katong!! haha... and the worst part is that i only slept 2 hours the previous nite and then i cannot sleep in the bus .. well i dunnoe why got alot of things to talk until cannot sleep.. after that played squash then go kap eat wif them and went back home .. and went back school... practiced a little only .. jun wei a senior over there brought his guitar over i mean his electric with his distortion hahaSHIOK SIA play and he damn pro.. i really look up to him... damn good la... thats how u enjoy music haha...