Tuesday, May 22, 2007

what a fuckin day

today had quite alot of things happen. i mean like i waitied for the entire whole day of school to end because i had to do something. yesterday i went to m square to buy a card and write it to my hamster. so yea i spend today .. the entire whole day figuring out what to write down about my feelings. it was quite a risky thing to do i know but guess that its better that she at least knows how much i went through and thought abt her. it was quite a long story by the way how i wrote it in the card. starting from the very first moment i felt for her and how much i cared. and also gave her a hamtaro stuff toy. at first she seem so happy and overwhelm of what i gave her. i was like okay.. glad la that she likes it but still deeply i am waiting for an answer. after that we went to watch movie at the library then she got soooo high and suddenly got weak after taking some dangerous stuff. which i totally object to .. it really made her so weak that she can even keep her head up straight. its quite worrying for me la to see her like that.. after that had dinner wif everyone at mad jack and i send her back to school bus stop where her dad picked her up and i went back home.

i recieve a message from her slighty awhile after reaching home .. saything that she hope we stil could be friends still first as she still likes hs more .. at the same also like me and wish we could be together but she has to let her feeling of hs run off first.. so yea i mean like i kinda of expected that to happen . thats why i havent been so confident in winning her whole heart yet. i guess it really does takes time to get this kind of things to improve. well i hope nothing changes yet between us yet as i feel that i should treat her the same i did and always did till she makes the decision.. this kind of thing i understand that it takes alot of time to make a decision cause its really something u have to commit and cherish alot

my greatest fear has always been failing in love, and i know how much it hurts to be rejected. would she care if i dont know what to say because i always believe that is someone out there who feels just like me and thats life ..

if you are reading this hamster
don't feel bad about me
its okay what you think about me
i wont try to argue or hold it against
there will always be a reason
and well i guess this is just growing up

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