woot a long day

hello! =) i just reached home and its like 1.30 am now.. just came back from watching HARRY POTTER!! hahahah.. was okok la but after all it was awesome watching wif klemon , shim ,russ and sop. i kept laughing my ass off the whole day i dunnoe why until i feel my head starting to ach cause of too much laughing. i know guys how petty i can be but whats ming without being petty? hahaha .. okok WTF am i doing.

had a long long day.. was fucking stress the night before thining of what to songs to play in school to perform just now. after all the trouble searching a for a vocalist.. guess who we got to sing for us? haha we manage to get Norman from the singapore idol guy to sing for us.. well everything was last min and i think we did great but i knew the band could had done better but sowie due to the errors i made haha.. but after all a good experience in the school atrim. after everything ended i played this game and won a CAR? hahha a toy car.. and the box is pretty big and i was like carrying it around . people thinking wtf is wrong with this guy haha..

well i know how fucking sick it is trying to ACT gay but its fun =) haha.. i bet a million yen kai is enjoying it very much.. but i guess he has been doing it all by himself all his life so he shy haha.. i am being insane this few days being fucking lame. but it works to cheer up alot. espcially going through a roller coaster ride twice in a row.. thats scary. it all thanks to the bros who has been there for me or else i would had regret every step i made,i have nothing to lose but them, because its worth fighting for - harry potter

i'm so glad i realise after a fucking long period of time a day when i finally woke up, i got fix my fucking self. i am screwed and wasted. i wish i can just scream out whatever i left in me. it always does feel better screaming to words and thoughts out. no wonder people who i used to known just fade away, or i choose to fade away because i just dun wanna withness another disaster . back to square 1 where isnt a strange place to me.

what i really want?

after all these while chasing my wildest dream trying to be someone who i ever wanted, even getting everything i wanted doing all the things i love to do . exprience the best time of my life and in the making. my dream has always been that one girl i see in my dream who is just there but i dunnoe who. because having everything in life and getting things i ever wanted , at the end of the day it would be fucking sad if i had no one to share it with. i can never forget the scars i drew on myself to remind me that my heart hurts more then the skin tearing open bleeding. i dun see love is a game to play because its something special in life that everyone derserves. for the family, frens and the soul mate.

so what i really want?
haha.. if u were to asked me who is that girl i always dream about and thought. i can only describe how is she like. but not who. i think its a kind of a once in a billion kind of the people that i know then i will find that true someone. because it doesnt mean liking someone means its the one u been looking for. i dun look for someone who likes me . the gal i see was like an angel, who is the perfection that will complete my life. can be trusted,not selfish,not dumb,think for the best,sweet,funny,supportive,patience,cool attitude. having all these quality will bring out the more of me. every sweat every blood every tear every move every breath , there is a reason worth fighting for. even with the whole world agianst me she would still be there. in life its always worth everything when you have someone to share it with and care. thats how beautiful love the way i see it.
having someone to walk along this path in life, looking stars ,walking on the beach bare feet, traveling around the world and music flowing with emotions and feelings . spending my whole life just to love =) thats the power . well singapore the way i see it cannot go far to enjoy life haha.. i will really pity my kids under the strong pressure they are gonna face next time. so lets get the fuck out of here and move to california or australia. become surfers or something. whatever they enjoy doing best . to me life.. i believe in always being positive and happy! no matter how hard i fall or suck. i have my whole life to improve and be a better man.

i guess haven been seeing things far enough, so maybe i have lost my focus on what matters to me. to all my bros. life aint nothing without some brotherhood love . haha sounds wrong. but yea i swear i will invite u to me future wedding dudes. even its overseas, i pay every single cent to get yur ass to my wedding haha!! even it takes to climb up a mountain . for my wedding , i want ROCK MUSIC , i want a couple dance floor , GOOD DJ , oh yea of course GOOD FOOD! , ALL MY BROS , FAMILY , somewhere that is not hot , like on a highland like the one in american pie the wedding, my band to perform a song specailly for the bride. drive in a fucking cool sports car ( depends how rich i am hahahaha) of course my wife ( my guitar) must be there to party too. everyone having a good time . best location i can think of? at the COAST OF MELBOURNE! like the pic in my frenster haha.. that is so fucking awesome. kiss the bride with the beautiful sunset behind. i can picture that in my mind. acutally i rather not having the sports car if it is there, i would fly a plane instead! fucking awesome haha.. oh yea of course dun count me on your wedding bros! haha.. i gonna making things alittle bit more different? hahaha. come on man wif me around and kai wanna act the stiff master? haha .. omg too much american pie. okok wtf i think its like i am fucking trying to descride this dream i ever wanted. nono its my destiny .

break the code in life
fate is not a bad thing
it couldnt be fated until it happened
destiny is fate
thats where u break the myth of fate
and make it YOUR DESTINY !
everything can be achieve
as long u believe =)

i talk too much haha
maybe i miss the feeling how it really was to be
a level higher in life
so that i can have the clear view of the world
to let people see how beautiful
things are rather then looking down
at their dirt under their feets

all i wanna do is RRRRROOOOOCCCCK!!!!
WOOHOO!!
okay adios
nits its fucking 2.30am now .. 1 hour to do this post so fucking long.
give peace a chance
where is the love?

had enough

now its the time to end it all.. enough of the wild thoughts and hopes. its time to spend time with my brothers! =) i vow to remain a loyal gay for 1 week from now on. too bad but i just love my bro hos haha .. because they are the tears and joy of my life for the past few months. together we will rock hard!

its tiring heading to somewhere with no direction and no future. but i see our brotherhood have the future. i see us even after our NS . we will be mates for life.
BROS BEFORE HOES! hahaha

best song to suit my situation?

SCARS!

sorry i got to move on with my own life



I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel


Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'caues you came around
Why don't just go home
'Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is


[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel


I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand


[Chorus]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel


I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself


I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open, sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

back on track finally!

okay its been a long time i updated.. not really long but yea.. been busy and all.. and maybe lazy? my laptop is fucked up again =( my mon drop my laptop on the floor from the chair.. heard the loud sound BANG! and i was like oohhh shitt =( now my com is nuts.. sometime okay some time go crazy.. then i cannot see the screen.

anyway this week so far so good.. i realize that i am actually back on track on alot of things . my studies especially. my car and bike license too. tml my bike prac . and going to gym again ! hehe.. i think i am too skinny.. and weak.

oh ya this thursday also must perform in school so yea.. my must prepare the songs. and this saturday also. np strings. and next week session i got to do a solo!! wth.. haha.. i think i can do it if i practice la.. just now was at the guitar shop.. omg i really cannot tahan sia.. see all the guitars.. so yea i wanna train alot on guitar until the highest level.. but i am a slow learner i think . maybe i din have the proper guide to learn thats why.. all these why i pick up the skills from the net? haha.. maybe a few from frens.

no matter how busy i am in life.. i always have the time to chill and alone.. so yea its good =) so i dun have to always be stress.. oh yea i got the force vomit tickets aready!! woohoo ! hahaha.. think gonna catch a movie this weekend. but no plans yet. so yea anyone interested??

they approve the song we compose for zero to hero aready. so we can go full gear ahead with the song.. power!