Damn tired

Hello... =) been very lazy to update myself.. there are so many things i wan to say but i am just damn lazy lol.. well i can say that life has been okay la.. only a few werid things happen.. not talking abt the dreams i had.. haha.. i still dun fell the stress of o levels yet.. i am not studying to my best yet.. haha.. i must start studying somehow.. my mid year is comming.. next month.. wonder if i could study myself or i need someone to really kick my butt than i will study lol.. I think that i still have so much more inside of life that i can exprience.. Now its like i am really enjoying as much as possible and yes i am having a great time. but can be improve =) i miss jamming!! this morning i played every instrument that went into my eyes.. and suddenly i start to listen werid songs like slipknot? Finch? shade apart? haha...really werid..

i am mentally and physically damn tired now.. i can sense that my life is comming near towards the start of peak.. lol.. my peak would be like so long later on in the future.. but i know that once i finished my o levels.. life will never be the same... not to mention i used to had plans of what to do.. begining of this year or ever ealier.. but now those plans i had are all erased and rewritten.. i got the freedom to choose whatever i want now.. lol.. but the consiquences are one thing i have to look for too.. haha... well.. i think my greatest would be living and studying in australia after my o levels =) hahaha... i just love the sports and people there and everything!! life would be greater.. than here! some ppl say that living for life at australia might not be good.. but .. WtF?? of course i wanna travel around the world dude.. hehe...

talking abt events happen one after the other.. i dun think that by thinking its all fated is the right thinking to have.. it dosen't make sense.. beacause only god have the abilty to do that.. right??! haha.. we have our own choices and freewill.. thats why we are created for! come on.. you are the script writer of your life! so thats what i am doing.. writing my story .. i hope when i die.. i hope to have a copy of what i done here.. haha..theres nothing to hide anyway.. i always hate keeping feelings and thoughts with myself.. making myself feel to self centered.. i am a straightforward person.. for those who truly do know me.. ye know wad i mean.. i hate beating around the bushes... bla bla bla .. in the end wads the point? haha.. still the same.. its either i suffer one shot big time or slowly suffering the pain until it hits the final part.. Duh!! i of course take it one shot..

Theres nothing else i can type here except myself.. thats the purpose of the blog.. its like my diary to write down my feelings.. if some ppl think that i always think for myself.. ye may be right.. or u may be wrong.. well.. let me tell u this.. god and me comes first.. always.. secondly is my parents.. than my family , relatives, friends, and the people around.. its this way.. i got to make my own stand first before i can go around helping others.. but i might end up hurting them!! lol..

okie.. yea.. i fill up so much words.. i am damn tired.. ZZzzzZZz

=)

hello !! yea yea back from australia .. came back home on sunday nite.. lol.. i haven really upload my pictures yet because they are all wif my father and brother.. well.. haha the last day .. i went to cut my hair.. and i think its a new imagine of myself.. i like it.. dunnoe why .. its short and simple.. but one thing.. i really miss australia.. i had lots of fun over there.. life was better there.. Its all different.. from here .. the people the place the life!

when i was comming back.. in the plane.. was watching alexender.. than my brother told me to watch closer.. well.. the show Closer was great i can say.. even the ending is sad.. lol.. its a spider web love between 4 person.. jude law was the main actor.. i like him since he act in behind enemy gates.. well.. the story is abt him and this 2 girl.. firstly he was wif anna .. than both of them somehow got seprated as there wasn't much chemistry going on.. than 1 day.. jude law (Dan) was going to work.. and he saw this girl across the street.. alice .. he just kept looking into her eyes.. and the background music was i can get you out of my eyes.. both of them walk towards each other and still looking into their eyes.. suddenly alice was bang by a car.. than Dan quickly rush to her .. lol.. this part funny.. alice was on the road laying down cause she has been hit.. than she turn her head towards Dan and said" Hello stranger.. =) " lol.. Dan took her to the hospital and so on they became very close to each other until they had a relationship.. Dan told Anna about alice .. Anna told Dan that he should be serious about alice and forget abt Anna.. one day DAn went to the net and imitate himself as Anna and talk to this doctor .. lol!! i love this part.. dan go make the doctor think he is really a blonde who loves suducing people lol.. ya there are much more details than that.. than Dan told the doctor to meet Anna but the doctor din noe that Dan is making use of Anna identity.. ya than the doctor really met Anna and asking her to have sex wif him.. lol.. than Anna was shocked..than Anna said that it must be Dan who made this happen lol.. than Anna and the doctor named larry also became very close and they got married later on..
But Dan in his heart.. he still loves anna the most.. he was afraid to tell alice this.. and so later on he really did.. and alice left him.. Dan went to anna to ask her back. and she really did agreed to start fresh wif Dan and divorce wif larry..Dan is really smart in this show.. he asked anna how did she manage to divorce wif larry.. and he found out that larry only agreed to divorce wif anna until he had last sex wif anna.. lol.. this part larry is too much.. and anna really went to do it .. to be wif Dan.. Dan got angry... and he also left anna... Anna and larry were still married.. they continued on.. But Dan who still loves anna the most told larry.. and larry said that he found alice at the strip bar as a striper.. and he had sex wif her.. and gave Dan alice's address.. because Dan aready lost anna.. so Dan found alice and they met up .. they both still love each other alot.. than Dan asked alice if she did anything wif larry.. she din tell the truth.. than Dan gave her chances to speak out the truth.. but she still dosen't.. but by the time Dan convince alice to speak the truth.. alice said that she loves dan no more.. and told him that she had sex wif larry and she really enjoyed it.. Dan was convinced but also sad as alice lost feelings for him.. He just only wanted to hear the truth from her.. in the end.. Dan found out that alice real name was jane.. and she was actually making use the name alice from a person that had been rescue by Dan's father long ago.. ya.. than it ends..

but this show tells me many things.. the way Dan followed his heart.. i respect him.. he knows that if alice or anna really did loved him.. they would trusted him faithfully.. and to hear the truth from them..not hidding anything.. Dan never lied.. and he really show his true feelings.. Thats why its good to learn of how strong he was.. to control..

i like that show lol.. well. also i begin to listen to kelly clarkson.. her songs are good.. good voice too.. haha..

Now back wif skool.. soo many work! haha.. well i can handle it.. the freedom which i have is really good. my own time and space .. i really feel so blessed sometimes of having a family and know so much religion and this world.. the big understanding is wad i been learning to.. many many things that are unkown.. yet to discover.. =)